Scars are interesting. They give people character, you know? Tell a story.
But I'll never have this scar. I'll never run my fingers over it, five, ten, twenty years from now, and remember. So I run my fingers over it now and it stings, stings real bad. Like a paper cut. And I pull my hand away, and it's covered in blood. *My* blood, all red and thick, and it's like I'm seeing for the first time.
B's lying there, her face all twisted and deformed, in the name of tears, in the name of displaying emotion. Stupid bitch. She can't believe she stabbed me, she actually stabbed me, killed me, my blood on my knife in her hands. Red stains like ink, running down her wrists. Funny in way. She's like me now, blood stained, and the killing will come easier for her. And her boyfriends still gonna die.
So I stumble back along that wall, my feet feeling like there a million fucking miles away, and I'm walk the line again. I love walking that fuckin line. It's great. And for a while, when B walked it with me, we were great. Screw the world. We were the Slayers, man! The fuckin saviours of the whole fuckin world!
Want, take , have. It was wicked great. Bleedin' fantastic. Then B went all wierd 'bout the Mayors assitant. About the bad guy, for godsakes! Don't tell me she's never wished for a loophole in that whole not killing humans deal.
Me, I don't worry 'bout that. For me, there are two sides. Me, and the rest of the world. So a few people died to save the rest. I'm still in the black, right? No overdraft for me, no sir-ee.
Where was I? Oh yeah, walking that line.
Next thing I know I'm falling, I'm fuckin' flying and it's great. A rush, you know, like diving off those rocks or running from the cops, or fighting. Andrenaline, blood, oxygen, all that shit pumping around like godknows what, preparing for landing, ready to fight -
But suddenly I don't want to land. I wanna fall for ever, right through the earth, though hell, into oblivion. It's peaceful, quiet like, I haven't had that in a couple of years, maybe never. I don't remember being this calm, this collected. It's all falling into place, my whole life, my destiny man, it's all *right here.* Here, in this falling.
Let it fall man, let it rain. Let it fucking rain Faith, for all I care right now. I'm at peace, and no vampire, no demon, no apocolpse, no Buffy the fuckin' saint can take it away. I don't want to stop this fall, *my* fall.
And the black comes and I know I'll never hit the bottom.