Short, depressing Cordy reflecting on her relationship with Angel. Unfinished.

Extract 8a

"It must be hard," he says, that smirk on his face, "to be second best." And my anger flares and in a moment his nothing more than a flurry of dust in the darkness.

If only his words were dispensed of so easily.

He puts his arm around my shoulders, and a lean into him, though I shudder at his touch. I want to pull away, as my skin freezes against his, but I don't, because I can't let him go so easily.

The walk home is endless, and we chatter inanely. He likes to talk, though who would ever have guessed? Brood-boy talks a million miles an hour if you let him, and I do, because it makes me smile to see him happy. He can laugh too. Not the slight smile I knew from Sunnydale, and not the Angelus smirk either. A childish laugh, full of hope and innocence.

I love him.

- - -

10:30, Angel Invesitgations.

"And Mr Sanderson's case?" Wesley inquired, in his usual organised way.

"Oh, I researched that!" Cordelia placed her coffee down and dug into her desk. Wesley sighed and placed down his list, watching her as she hunted. "Here!" She cried triumphantly, smirking at him. "You have a choice of demons."

"Oh, a choice. That's nice and unspecific."

"Shut up Wes. The choice is between a nasty icky chaos demon, and an even nastier, ickier chaos demon. Both come with, eww, optional slime and a side-order of vampire minions."

"Food allusions. Wonderful." Wesley turned to the other person in the room. "Angel?" Then a little louder. "Angel!"


- - -

I make a joke of it, of course. 'Buffyland' I call it, and smile at him like I don't care. But I see the glimmer truth in his eyes and I do care. She's still the only thing he can think of. Nothing has changed.

- - -

Extract 8b

But now he's drifting again. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he leans back into the pillow, the way his half closed eyes kinda glaze over and then he's gone again. And I lay my head on his chest, and his hands drift to stroke my hair as I lie there.

But it's automatic.

'Cause I know where he is. He's with her again.