So, I was saying to myself the other day, "Rebekka, what kind of Robbie Williams fan are you? Good God, you don't even have a shrine for him!" Well, after I had this revelation, I went hard to work on my love shrine. Frist, I would need some wood, so I went hiking in the woods to find the perfect tree. Alright, so maybe it wasn't really the woods (Hey, I've seen the Blair Witch Project. I know what happens when you go in the woods.) it was actually my neighbor's backyard, but there were lots of trees so it was kinda like being in the woods. After locating the best tree, a fine looking oak, I chopped that bitch down and headed back over to my place to start constructing my shrine. It was a little hard at frist but, then, after watching a 10 hour Bob Vila marathon on PBS, and learning what can happen when you sneak up on someone using a chainsaw- hope you feel better soon sis- I managed to piece everything together. All I had left to do was decorate it with beautiful Robbie pictures and my love shrine would be complete. However, when I had finished putting up all the pictures, there was still something missing....
I was fairly new to this whole stalker fan thing, so I asked a few other Robbie fans what I needed to add to my shrine to make it absouletly perfect, and they told me the usual- chicken heads, wax voodoo dolls, handcuffs, you know, "the usual". I made a small list and then set out to collect the items.
The handcuffs were easy to get. I just drove over to my local sex shop, "Pure Fantasy" and picked up a pair of reinforced steel ones. Next I went to K-Mart and bought a few candles to melt down, so I could make my voodoo doll...piece of cake. The only thing on my list I had a problem getting was the chicken head. I attempted to drive to the nearest chicken farm and get one there. However, as I was chasing a nice plump one with my meat clever, the owner of the farm saw me and came charging out of his house with his shotgun. I ran like the dickens to my car and made a quick getaway, but this left me still chickenless. After that whole ordeal, I decided to go the grocery store and pick up some frozen chicken tenders instead. Hey, chicken's chicken....right?
I put my goodies inside, and with that, my shrine of love was finally complete. Oh, and how it shined! It was absolutely beautiful. Tell me, what do you think of it? Is it worthy?
Oh, I finally got hold of a real chicken head. I snuck back to the chicken farm, only this time at night, and I got me a real nice one, but shhhh, it's our little secret.