Why? Good Question
Frequently Asked Questions
Now For a Little Skit
The Brilliance of Bob-o
Letters From An American Fan

Garianne The Teenybopper
One Man Cover Band
Number One w/the Mullet
Lifestyles of the Narcissistic
OutHouse Magazine
Bob-o Model/Actor
Shrine of Love
Pink Fashion Show
Bob-o the Psychic Swami
Breakfast of Champions

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
Sometimes, He Scares Me
Better Off

Things That Make You Go Hmmm
Teddy Bears Are Evil
My, Aren't We Pretty?
Pleasing Bob-o
Let's Play a Game
Bored? I've Got Your Answer!
I Put the Ass in Assistant

It's Story Time
The Robfather
Trailer TRASH Talk
Christmas w/Martha Stewart
Deep Arse Travel
Crotching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Beginning Of The End
My Ego Trip
Link Me

Sometimes He Scares Me

I like Robbie as much as the next deranged female freak, but I must admit, there are times when he scares the hell out of me. See, when I was 11 I had this traumatic experience. I went to the circus with my best friend and her family, and there I was attacked by this clown with green hair. Alright, maybe attacked isn't the best word to use, it's more like I was accosted by a clown with green hair.

This evil clown from Hell kept coming over to me with his dirty balloon animals asking if I wanted one. He tired to hand me this lewd shaped balloon and I told my friend that I wanted to leave before he tried to molest us, but she just rolled her eyes and told me that I was crazy. I showed her the balloon "animal" he was trying to give me and she said, "So? It's just a balloon giraffe. He gives them to all the kids." Balloon giraffe?!? I don't think so. It was a balloon penis, he couldn't trick me...I had seen Killer Clowns From Outter Space and I knew all about clowns and their dirty ways.

Then that demon clown asked me if I wanted to see a "special" magic trick and he reached into his pocket. At this point, I didn't care what my friend said, I knew this clown was plotting to kidnap and kill me, so I screamed bloody murder and kicked him as hard as I could right between the legs- just like my mom taught me. That pedderass fell to the ground grabbing his crotch, cursing. Hah, ha. That'll teach him to try and give me a balloon penis.

I, of course, along with my friend and her family, were escorted out of the circus and asked not to come back. Hah, like I really wanted to see sideshow freaks anyway. Ever since that night I've been scared to death of clowns(Bozo, Crusty, and ICP), mimes, and basically anything else with face paint, which includes Robbie. I've never seen the Let Me Entertain You video, and never plan to see it, because he's dressed like a "hello, I'm going to kill you now" KISS wannabe. I know this sad fact depletes me of true fan status, I mean I haven't seen all his videos, for shame on me, but I think my true fan status was already in the toilet when I made fun of Rob for wearing eyeliner- hey, at least I'm honest about it. *Sighs* Oh well, I guess you can't have it all...

Now that's some scary shit

Ahhhhh! That's so scary I think I just wet my pants...