I tend to get a lot of emails asking me exactly what a mullet is. So instead of me, again, trying to explain to you what one looks like, why don't I just show you?
Ah, what do we have here? What Robbie's Cd cover would look like if he were to go country? Fantastic! As you can see Robbie is sporting a beautiful ash blonde mullet...very Kentucky hills. Notice how it's short on both the top and sides yet flares out stunningly towards the bottom. This is a prime mullet...you don't see many like this nowadays. Absolutely magnificent!
*Newsflash*I just recently found out that in Robbie's next video he will be sporting an actual mullet! *Gasps* Say it ain't so Robbie, say it ain't so...
Other names for a mullet...
01 The Bi-level
02 The Kentucky Waterfall
03 The South of the Border
04 The Lobster
05 The Neckwarmer
06 The Squirrel Pelt
07 The Hockey Head
08 The Soccer Rocker
09 The Bolton
10 The Beaver Paddle
Top 10 Signs You Might Have a Mullet...
01 Your idea of a romantic date is dinner at Chi Chis followed by bowling then ice cream at Dairy Queen.
02 You can always be found chewing on a toothpick.
03 Your 28 and still live at home with maw.
04 You drive a pickup truck which you refer to as "The Devirginator."
05 You refer to penises as "wangs."
06 You know what the phrase "Turkey's Done" means.
07 You think Dolly Parton's one hot bitch
08 Your normal attire is cowboy boots, cowboy hat, flannel shirt, and brass "TEXAS" belt.
09 You put Tabasco Sauce on everything and then scream, "Banging! You gotta try this!"
10 Your name is Bob-o, Bubba, or Billy-Ray.
The list above was inspired by a terrible experience I once had when my friend Heather decided it would be fun to go out with this guy she met at a 24 hour diner and his friend. *Has Flashback* His name was Bob and he was the epitome of a hick. His mullet was golden yellow and very nicely groomed...you could tell he was looking to score. He walked up to the door, tipped his hat and offered me and my friends a toothpick. After seeing him I tried to run back into the house but Heather forced me out. We went to Chi Chi's, bowling, and then to Dairy Queen where Bob finally told us what Turkey's Done meant. I thought it was quite nice of him, you know, since he had been screaming it the whole night. Then he started to talk about gizzards and I didn't want to know, so I told him it was getting late and we had school the next day. I could tell by his cold stare he wasn't happy with us leaving. Apparently he was use to his golden mullet seducing the ladies right into the back of his pickup. Unfortunate for him I wasn't the normal bowling alley trailer trash hooker and I went home. I showered that night for an hour trying to cleanse myself of the horrid ordeal. It didn't help though, I had been scarred for life.
Now that you know what a mullet is, how to tell if you have one, and why NOT to date a mullet wearing hick named Bob, I hope your life has the meaning it had once been missing.