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Falalalalala
I've noticed that Robbie has some very, um, interesting lyrics in a few of his songs. Lyrics like, "I hope you choke on your Bacardi and coke." Wow, such hostility! My, my, someone's cornflakes have been pissed in, now haven't they? Apparently this harsh lyric is directed at his ex manager Nigel Blah Blah Blah. Let's take a look at some more of Robbie's amusing song lyrics.
"We're just after cheaper thrills"
-For you eager males out there, might I suggest watching a Britney Spears video?
"Some say that we are players some say that we are pawns"
-Call me Mattel bias but I'm more of a Cooties fan.
"Live for Liposuction"
-Carnie Wilson?!?
"Overdose at Christmas"
-The gift that keeps on giving?
"Come and have a go if you think you are hard enough"
-Oh, I see we took my advice on that Britney Spears video...
"I often think we were born to hate"
-Robbie, sometimes you've just got to let love be your energy...
"You won't steal his watch when your down there near his crotch"
-Excuse me, he wears a watch on his what?!?
"That'll explain the itch, you were such a lying bitch"
-Uh oh, looks like it's time for some Nix.
"But you were good in bed"
-Glad to see we're keep our priorities straight.
"Full of coke and tears"
-Hey, I thought you endorsed Pepsi?
"I was her, she was me"
-Uh, Hermaphrodites?
"You'll be so high you'll be flyin"
-Drugs are bad...
"The doors closed and she went for my briefs"
-Look out, she might be trying to steal your watch.
"I looked down at her and she had a piece of cabbage stuck between her teeth"
-Um cabbage? Is that like a metaphor?
"Shake your ass come over here"
-*Gasps* He said the A word!
"Let me entertain you"
-No thanks, I've got cable.
"Look me up in the yellowpages"
-Now is that very wise for you to tell people how to stalk you?
"Here is where the feeling grow"
-Would this be the place you were referring to....
"I guess now it's time for me to throw up"
-Now, now, don't be bitter.
"People show me love"
-*Throws bra at Robbie* Yeah and a water bra no less.
"Wave your hands if your not with a man, can I kick it?"
-As that famous song, by that not so famous group goes, "you got to lick it,
before we kick it, you gotta get it soft and wet before you stick it."
"Give no head no backstage passes"
-Why do I feel like I'm at a Poison concert?
"Pimpin ain't easy"
-I'm sure it's not what with having to smack your hos down and all.
"All the handsome men are gay"
-Yeah, it's too bad about Ricky Martin, but what ya gonna do?
"Are you questioning your size"
-Tube-socks just not working for ya?
"Do you need a bit of ruff"
-Ooo sounds tempting.
"Get on your knees"
-Awwyeah, and get ready to receive some cabbage.
"And we'll paint by numbers"
-Oh and then could we watch Teletubbies?!?
"Couldn't do what I wanted to do when my lips were dry"
-Ever hear of chapstick?
"Press be asking do I care for sodomy"
-Did you say hells yes and then pull down your pants so they could receive some cabbage?
"I'm not a gigolo, that's what I wanted you to know tonight"
-And that's always a good thing to know...tonight.
"The hooligan half of me that steals from Woolworths"
-I bought a New Kids on the Block button from Woolworths once. Yeah it was one of the giant ones and it had Jordan on it. He was Ooo la la sexy.
"All the voices in my head that I can hear"
-Sybil?
"All the places I have ever been have scared me half to death or somewhere in-between"
-Tsk tsk, have you been peeping in my shower again?
"That's fighting-talk where I'm from"
-Yea biotch, you best be steppin da hells back.
"Don't hate me 'cause I'm handsome"
-You are?!? Oh, I mean, yeah, you are.
"Baby do I scare you, am I talkin too freely"
-Well, if we're talking freely here, this picture scares me...
"Baby I don't care just lie on your back"
-Oooh, that must be the Robbie Williams charm everyone's always talking about.
"The reason I'm doing you is 'cause your friend said no"
-And that would make her the smarter one.
"Amaze me"
-*Pulls a map of America out of a hat* Ta da. Now you can tour here.
"Give me Texas wisdom"
-Texas wisdom? Is that like an oxymoron?
"Mother said 'Son if you do it too long you'll go blind'"
-Um, do what?
"Everyone wants to know how I'm hung"
-Those fucking bitches! *Hides tape measure*
"It seems so easy, but so are you"
-My, my, someone's a bit bitter....
"All the make-up that you wear can't hide the flaws"
-Painted hooker clown?!? I hate clowns.
"That dress nearly fits ya"
-Wait, hold on. Are we talking about Christina Aguilera? Painted hooker clown with tight clothes? We must be.
"You don't get your way by giving it away"
-You don't? Damnit, my life has been built on nothing but lies!
"Cover me with your golden shower"
Excuse me, but golden what?!?
"The circus has gone all that's left is the clowns"
-Not to be anal, but shouldn't it be "all that's left are the clowns?"
"I know a freaky young lady"
Freaky Deaky?
"C'est la vie I say"
-Wow I'm impressed. I had no idea Robbie spoke French!
"I hope I love to see the day the Pope gets high"
-You know, President Clinton smoked pot, but he didn't inhale...pussy.
"Mon cher"
-Wow and he speaks Italian too?
"But words cut deep when your defenceless"
-Your right, I'm sorry.
"The jokes on me and I don't want to laugh"
-Damnit, I said I was sorry.
"I stay in bed and use my loaf instead of my bread"
-Oh, I must say, that was rather witty.
"Wondering who I was, naked and cold"
-Naked good. Cold bad.
"I didn't lose my head, it was mine to give away"
-Maybe you should ask for it back, 'cause, you know, heads do tend to come in handy every now-and-again.
