BAG
Topic: Miscellaneous

I will use a recent blog request to catapult this page out of more than a year of utter neglect.  Do my bag's mundane contents imply that I have an unexciting soul? 

• An underutilized date book.  What few entries exist are commonly followed with a question mark to indicate their lack of urgency or my lack of confidence that they will be dealt with.

• Orbit wintermint gum

•  A 2GB jump drive from Microcenter

• A crumpled wad of pay stubs

•  Walgreens "Original Eye Drops."  They claim to be both "original" and comparable to Visine.  How contradictory.  My eyes get dry at work because the computer of the person who sits across from me has a powerful fan unit that blows warm air up at me from beneath my desk.  I assume my computer does the same to him.  Unlike Visine, store brand eye drops are not locked up at Walgreens.  I don't know why you would lock up eye drops anyway, except that maybe stoners use Visine, and they assume stoners to be shoplifters who shun generic imitations.

• Staedler pigment liner.  I prefer the Papermate Flair, Ultrafine  

• Sanford uni-ball ONYX.  I prefer the Pilot Razor Point II

• A 2GB ipod nano 

•  Various medicines denoting their owner's easily upsettable stomach and sensitive sinuses

• The crumpled sheath of a folding umbrella.  I have bought this same $5 umbrella from Walgreens on 3 occasions since I never have it when it rains.  

• An SF novel lent to me by Nik.  It's awesome.  The gods' home on Mount Olympus is actually Mons Olympus on Mars.    

• My bag is a fairly anonymous nylon model from Banana Republic. When I put it under my desk at work I gain pleasure from feeling its magnetic clasps bond to the side of the filing drawers.  

24 CALORIE MATE
Topic: Miscellaneous
For several years I have ignored the hype and barrage of commercials FOX runs for 24, remembering Kiefer Sutherland as no more than the punky teenage vampire gang leader in The Lost Boys, and son of Donald, the elderly vampire slayer mentor from the Buffy movie.

But then the more contemporary, non-vampirical, potential awesomeness of Kiefer was communicated to me last July (spent in Yokohama), via a Calorie Mate commercial in which Jack Bauer crushes through a subway car full of school girls. That was my first exposure to his shouting (which I now look forward to seeing in each episode), made all the more sweeter by being directed at seemingly innocent high school girls.

I should metion that Calorie Mate is a nutrient-rich blocky biscuit thing, whose purpose is analagous to that of the PowerBar. They also make a gel (as in the embedded commercial) and flavored drinks. Details of their products can be found here: Calorie Mate.

The 24 campaign has an exciting site, as well: CMT24

GOOGLE MOON
Topic: Miscellaneous


There is, of course, also a google moon, which I thought would be less exciting...until I zoomed in past the resolution of available data and found myself facing a screen full of cartoon cheese! Good geek humor!
GOOGLE MOON
Straight Dope: How did the moon=green cheese myth start?

GOOGLE MARS
Topic: Miscellaneous
I suspect this is a long-term investment, so when we get around to colonizing, Google will be raking in fortunes off all the casual map-users.

GOOGLE MARS
ABOUT GOOGLE MARS
PRESS

Giving in to the iD: NIKE DUNKS
Topic: Miscellaneous
*This post is a tribute to Joe, who is king of the BAPESTA.*

I try to make the most of the wearable goods I purchase, using them well past their point of aesthetic and functional failure. So this winter, after once again patching up the pockets of my army coat from 9th grade, I gave in to the pressure of my girlfriend, mom, and secret inner feelings, and bought a nice warm parka that, according to Kei, will make people hesitant to "mess with me."

I recently noticed my sneakers deteriorating and decided to scout out a replacement that suited my style, palette, and active lifestyle. What it came to was Nike's iD website, which allows you to design your own pair of DUNKS. And that's just what I did.

So yesterday I received an anonymous box from a man in Vietnam. Inside was an intricate sliding velvet-lined Nike box with a velvet bag, and inside my customized creation. Good job Mr. Nguyen and co.! It's interesting that Nike allows this direct connection between consumer and producer--no official warehouse, distributer, processing office, etc. But a great smell.

ALPHA BRAVO CHARLIE
Topic: Miscellaneous
Next time you're on the phone trying to read your account number or spell your name to some tired customer service representative, and you get to one of those ambiguous tonalities like "V" or "M," you should refer to the follwing rather than emabarrass yourself by exposing your repugnant subconscious or just saying 'uhh...' for a while as only vulgar anatomical terms come to mind. Plus, you'll need this if you end up in that post-apocalytic concrete bunker with nothing but your short-wave and some canned beans.

Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
Xray
Yankee
Zulu

The "Lima" and "Papa" are pretty lame, and "Uniform" is a bit clumsy. I guess it's pretty cool otherwise.

Roper v. Simmons / Lundgen v. Artner
Topic: Miscellaneous
First, I'm thrilled with the announcement today of the Supreme Court's narrow decision to ban the execution of minors. I don't understand why in any case minors are tried as adults--proponents say the severity of the crime somehow warrants it, but the more severe the crime, the graver the consequences, which means age is all the more significant. You can't vote or buy cigarettes or serve in the military but you can be executed? I don't think so, and neither does the rest of the civilized world. Some noteable exceptions are IRAN, CHINA, SAUDI ARABIA, and PAKISTAN. And probably N. Korea. Of course, the only states in the US that have done this are VIRGINIA, TEXAS, and OKLAHOMA, which I guess are the Pakistan Iran and Saudi Arabia of America. That's why they tried Lee Malvo, sniper child, in VA instead of MD. And Texas should have a fucking scimitar on its state flag. Listen to this bitch, quoted in today's AP article on the case:

"Dianne Clements, president of the Houston-based Justice for All victims' advocacy group, criticized the decision and said she hopes that when there is a Supreme Court vacancy a strong death penalty supporter is nominated.

'The Supreme Court has opened the door for more innocent people to suffer by 16- and 17-year-olds," she said. "I can't wait for the Supreme Court to have judges more concerned with American values, American statutes and American law than what the Europeans think.'"

In other news, Alan Artner, Chicago Tribune art "critic," is no longer a person I want to meet and start a fight with, as I mention in my Friendster profile. I in fact met him at my part time job at the Art Institute book store, and he was nice. I still don't care for his reviews--he doesn't seem to like art that requires thinking, and he seems to uncritically praises whatever big blockbuster they put up at the Art Institute.

Now I just wanna meet DOLPH LUNDGREN. He is far superior to such comparable actors/characters as Schwarzenegger, Van Damme (who lied about winning a bunch of kickboxing titles, and then declined offers to enter real tournaments when invited by offended real title-holders), Stallone, and even tubby old Steven Seagal (who has real street-creds, as in opening the first accredited Aikido Dojo run by a foreigner in Japan; recognition by high-ranking Buddhist priests). Dolph is clearly a step above. He got a masters at MIT in Chemical Engineering on a fulbright scholarship, after serving in the Swedish Marines and studying on scholarship in Sweden and Sydney, Australia. He also won several major full-contact Karate championships, and turned down a professional boxing contract. All before his movie career blossomed, seeing the creation of numerous films which proved inspirational to my grade-school self--The Punisher, Rocky IV, Universal Soldier--all the apex of that genre.






Kei and I even communicated with the man/legend through his website! See the September 2004 message board archives at his official site OFFICIAL SITE I can't wait till the big showdown with Alan Artner, who actually was fairly tall himself.