Brought To You By Shawn- Who Specializes In Nothing
(First Period Production, So Dont Criticize)
1. When
you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer,
there's no blood
in my alcohol?"
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you
wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say
no, my speedometer
only goes to......
5. Touch him.
6. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you
had to buy a hat.
7. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
8. Refer to him by his first name.
9. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
10. When he says no, cry.
11. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
12. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is,
but in a nice way.
13. If he asks you to step out of the car,
automatically throw yourself on
the hood.
14. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you
don't go that way.
15. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my
dates buy me dinner first"
16. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you
don't like ink on your
fingers.
17. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say
"Oops! That's the
wrong name."
18. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell
him sorry, I just ate
the last one.
19. When he comes up to the car, say "License and
registration, please"
right when he says it.
20. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La
La, I can't hear you!"
21. Trip and fall into him.
22. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you
away.
23. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You
have to sign with his
pen.
24. Chew on the pen, nervously.
25. Clean your ear with the pen.
26. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with
the spring.
27. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I
thought the name
sounded familiar.....
28. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says
yes, ask him how the
plumbing was.
29. Act like you are retarded.
30. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start
repeating him, quietly.
31. Or mumble to yourself.
32. When he tells you to stop, say what are you alkin
about, DUDE?
33. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of
you here tonight.......
34. Ask if they know how to make the donuts..
35. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just
like yours!
36. Ask if he watches Cops.
37. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
38. Giggle if he did.
39. Talk to your hand.
40. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her
Five Favorite Friends.
41. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
42. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and
grin.
43. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no
alcohol in my car,
sir, the last cop got it.
44. Try to sell him your car.
45. Ask if you can buy his car.
46. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in
front.
47. Play with the siren.
48. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
49. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his
wife for dinner.
50. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
51. Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
52. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
53. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each
other in tongues.
54. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him
and laugh.
55. When you are in the back, touch his neck through
the fencing.
56. Turn your head and whistle.
57. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you
gonna do with that.
58. If you are female, say I don't do that on the
first date.
59. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in
the corner, suck your
thumb, and whine.
60. Ask if you can see his gun.
61. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just
wanted to see if mine
was bigger.
62. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty
colors!"
63. Tell him you like men in uniform.
64. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween
party.
