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TWC News
Your source for up to the minute misinformation.
August 09, 2009: Anniversary of the Day The Matrix Stopped Being Cool (U.S.), Indifference Day(Norway, observed)
On this day in...
-40,000,000,000 BCE - My blog is created by the Ancient Blog God Hypothalamus. It did not gradually evolve over millions of seconds from a single blogged organism as scientists would have you believe.
-70 - The destruction of the Second Temple in Jerusalem by the Romans. A spokesman for the Roman centurions says that while the casualties are unfortunate, the ongoing Roman offensive is necessary to ensure a peaceful future in the Middle East.
-1458 - Math matrices (invented August 6, 1458 on the island of Thule) are deemed annoying. This resulted in the start of the mathematicians' decline from the top of the pantheon of coolness.
-1998 - Your Cell phone becomes more important than your mother.
-2003 - An adolescent who, for no reason at all, starts mimicking the slow-motion bullet dodge from the first movie on a bus, is appalled to discover that his fellow passengers are not immediately breaking out in applause and high-fives, as is usual whenever any reference to The Matrix is made by anyone at any time.
TWC News Report: Congress Can't Handle Obama's Huge Package
TWC Weather Station
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TWC Weather operates automatically by going out and auto-reading the weather news itself, and its contents are free and open to abuse.
TWC Station Forecast Stats:
Today's weather was bought to you by Charlton Heston and his cold dead brother.
Special Weather Report:
Pat Robertson predicted the end of the World was yesterday, for those of you who missed it.
Two Day Outlook:
Monday: A -32% chance of Rain
Tuesday: A 12% chance of apocalypse followed by light T-storms
Suggested Recreation
While there is a -32% chance of rain
on Monday, we suggest goat petting.