A CHRISTIAN WEBSITE BY BILLY BOOTH

MY JOURNEYS BACK IN TIME TO AMSTERDAM DURING WORLD WAR 2

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By the time I was in the 3rd grade I was experienced at walking home from school by myself. When I first started walking home from school my parents told me to come straight home. I would go straight home when I was in the 1st and 2nd grades, but then I began to explore. Those were the days when it wasn't so dangerous. You never heard about a child getting snatched and my parents never talked about the danger of it.

Once when I was living in Denver, Colorado my best friend Steve and I followed a girl named Jane home from school. Steve hid in the bushes while I went up and knocked on the door. Jane opened the door and I said, "I love you." She looked embarrassed and shut the door. Then I told Steve it was his turn. He went up and knocked on the door and was looking down at the ground so he didn't notice that it was her dad that answered the door. Steve said, "I love you" then looked up and saw her dad. Her dad said, "I love you too sonny boy, but you better get the hell out of here." We both ran off together laughing. I could not get Steve to go with me exploring after that.

Once when I was exploring after school or on a Saturday in Northglenn, Colorado I found that I had walked into what I thought was an older part of Northglenn that had large buildings and a canal with a bridge over it. There appeared to be 2 churches with steeples and the steeple of the larger church had a clock and bell in it. This section of the city looked much different than the 1 story houses I was used to seeing all around my neighborhood.

I was in the 3rd grade or the 1st semester of the fourth grade when I began visiting this area. I was born in 1956 and my journeys to this area occurred in the mid 1960s.

The area I had walked into was amazing. I had never seen a canal let alone one with roads beside it. Most of the waterways that I had seen before this had banks with grass or rocks and were not so close beside roads or buildings. This canal was in an area with big buildings. The streets were paved with brick.

I remember seeing a street sign that read, "Prinsengracht". I didn't realize at the time that I had walked back in time to Amsterdam during World War 2. I thought I was in Northglenn, Colorado.

While standing out front I saw a church in place of the building at 263 Prinsengracht. The Lord made it appear to look like a church on the outside during some of my visits to it. I saw 2 churches and the larger church was in the next block to the right.

I went to the garden side (back side) of the building. It did not have fences which would prevent rear access as it does now. I don't know if God worked a miracle and removed them for me or maybe they were not built at the time. I remember that God sent me to watch one of the fences being built and I saw the addition building being built next door.

While I was on the garden side of the building it appeared to me as a church on that side also so I decided to go inside of it and look around.

I walked up the outside staircase (it was a miraculous concrete staircase) and entered the building Then I walked through a room and door into the hallway of the building. After I entered the building it looked just as it appears in non-miraculous life and in the diagram.

In the hall I saw a staircase (this was called the worker staircase by the employees at the time) and I walked up it to the landing where I saw a man working with wood boards building a frame structure.

The narrow stair looked like the stairs I had seen in many churches that led to rooms to change for baptisms so I thought that he was going to build a place to change for baptisms.

I watched but I didn't say anything to him and then I left after a few minutes.

On my way home I came to a tall wall and as I went around it I noticed that the city looked vastly different on each side of the wall. On the side that I had just came from it looked like an old city (identical to the picture of Amsterdam). On the other side of the wall it looked newer with 1 story houses (like Northglenn) but I thought it was all the city of Northglenn at that time.

The next time I went to this area I think the Lord removed the concrete outside rear (miraculous) staircase and the addition so that I would enter on the ground floor. The addition with the clear plastic, Plexiglas or glass roof (See diagram) which is there in non-miraculous life was not there on some of my visits.

It still appeared to be a church to me on the outside even without the concrete steps but I remember shaking my head in disbelief of the missing concrete stairs.

This time I looked farther into the building and I did not find an auditorium with pews. I found equipment that made me realize that it was not a church. I went out the front door to look at the building to try and figure out why I had thought it was a church.

When I walked out front it no longer looked like a church and it looked exactly like it does in non-miraculous life and in the pictures of it that I have seen. I was shocked and I just shook my head with confusion. I looked at the entire block and there was no church. Now the only church I could see was in the next block to the right.

Looking up at the hoist/pulley I thought, "Could I have mistaken this for a steeple?" and I figured that if that was the case then I could go look for the construction work to confirm it.

I went in the far left front door and I walked up the straight staircase that went all the way to the 2nd floor (It would be considered the 3rd floor if it were in the United States) and down the hall to the area where I had seen the construction taking place on my previous visit.

I came to a bookcase on hinges. It was open. I walked through it and then I went beside a stair and walked into a room.

When I saw a bed with clothes all over it I realized that people were living there and I thought, "Oh my God, I'm in a secret place where people are living so I better get out of here!"

I was just starting to leave when I heard people coming. I was scared so I went into the next bedroom to hide and I shut the door behind me.

I had only been in the room a few minutes when a girl came into the room. She looked surprised and dropped her mouth open.

She eventually spoke to me in English and said, "What are you doing here?" I said, "The last time that I came to this building I thought it was a church and I came in to see it. I saw a man building something and I thought he was building a place to change for baptisms. Today when I came to this building I went farther inside and it didn't have any pews. I realized this isn't a church so then I was curious to find out what he had built and I found this place."

She said, "So you go to church?" I said, "Yeah, I go often." She said, "So you're a Christian?" I said, "Yes, I am."

She said, "I've read the New Testament." I was impressed and said, "Wow, I haven't done that. I've been told stories and teachings from it my whole life, but I've never read it myself. What did you think of it?" Anne lifted her eyes upward and with a very joyful look she said, "I believe it! It has to be true. It's just too incredible not to be true, but please don't tell anyone. My family would not understand." I told her I wouldn't tell anyone about it.

She was so happy and full of joy when she confessed being a Christian to me that she was glowing. She was beaming. I was quite taken with her. She seemed content and at peace. She also seemed confident. She seemed to be smart and she was the first girl to ever talk and be friendly to me.

I asked her for her name. She told me Annelies. I told her that I have a sister with the middle name of Ann. She said, "You can call me Anne." I told her my name.

I asked who they were hiding from. She told me they were hiding from the authorities.

I asked her why they were hiding. She told me it was because they are Jews. I said, "Are you sure it's because you're Jews? Are you sure your family didn't do something against the law?" She told me that they were planning to round up all the Jews.

I thought about it and concluded that since they were rounding up all of them then it must be because of who they are (Jews) and not something that they did. I also concluded that the government was just plain wrong for doing that and I told Anne that I would not tell anybody about them hiding there because the government was doing wrong.

I told Anne that I thought this may be a test because the Jews are God's chosen people. She said, "Do you think God is testing us?" I said, "No, not you (Jews). I think He may be testing others to see who they will side with."

I told Anne that it was nice meeting her and that I wished I could see her again. Anne told me I couldn't come see her again because it would be too dangerous but she said, "I'll write to you." I said, "How can you do that? I don't know my address." I tried to remember my address but I couldn't.

Anne said, "I don't need your address. I'll write to you in my diary." She got her diary and showed it to me.

She told me how she would address her entries to the person she thought would be the most interested in what she had to write at the time.

She told me that she did not use real names in order to protect the people she wrote to in her diary. She said, "Now, I need to think of a name for you." She studied my face for a while. She suddenly looked exited and her eyes and mouth opened wide. She grinned and said, "I know, you have eyes like a cat. I will call you Kitty!"

I told Anne I was ready to leave and that I didn't know what to say to her family. Anne told me not to say anything and that she would do the talking. We walked out into a room and Anne said something to her family. I didn't hear what she said.

They looked scared when they saw me. I had never seen people look at me and get such a fearful look on their faces until that moment.

Anne showed me the rest of the Annex before I left. I remember the wood beams in the attic, and looking out through the window at the church clock and bell steeple.

Anne directed me back down 2 levels then we went down the hall to a room with a window that overlooked the street and canal out front. While peeking out with her I felt this was a special place for her where she would look out and hope for the future.

While peeking out the window she said, "I plan to get my diary published in a few years when I come out of hiding and then you can read what I wrote to you." I told her that I was looking forward to reading it.

We went back to the annex and I told her goodbye.

I hung around just outside the bookcase for about 15 minutes thinking about Anne and how wonderful she was. She seemed so smart and outgoing. I was very shy and reserved at that time. I had never met anyone quite like her. I was happy and excited to have met her and I hoped that someday we could be together again.

I went down the stair near the bookcase and from that level up a little stair and down a hall to a room with a kitchen.

While there I saw the top of the glass or clear plastic roofed addition and wondered why I had not seen it before. Since I thought at first that the building was a church I thought that I may have been turned around and was not looking out a back window of the building (I actually was looking out a back window).

I looked out a window and saw a man sawing wood down below behind the annex building or the building next door.

I made a terrible mistake because I thought that he was the same man that I had seen working before and that he was the one who built the bookcase. He was wearing a white t-shirt like the man I had seen building before only he wore what looked like suspenders that were connected in the center with an emblem on them.

I somehow found a way to the ground floor without going to the front of the building. God must have worked a miracle.

I think that God removed from my sight the roof that is over part of the first floor warehouse between the front and back part of the building (See diagram).

Somewhere I looked up and saw the metal porch and the glass around the top floor walkway between the annex and front building (See diagram). In non-miraculous life I don't think a person can see those things as I did.

I went out the back of the warehouse into the addition.

I noticed that the back of the building no longer looked like a church and that the addition I had seen was at the back of the building (See diagram). I was shocked and I could not believe my eyes. I was very troubled by it and I thought, "When did that get there. How could I have thought this was a church? How could I have gone through this addition and not noticed it since the door is on the side" I was very disturbed by what I saw but I could not resolve it so I went out the side door into the yard of the building next door.

It was the door being on the side of the addition that troubled me most because if it looked like a church then how could it have a door that went out to the yard next door? In the diagram it shows this side door but now there is a building that would prevent use of a side door to the addition.

At the Anne Frank House website (www.annefrank.org) it has a virtual 3d tour. While taking the tour if you're inside the addition it shows the door on the side but if you click on it you will go through to the back yard and it changes and then the door is not on the side and there is an addition to the building next door that would prevent use of a side door.

I guess that the door to the addition of the building where Anne hid was relocated from the side to the back when the addition to the building next door was built and blocked the use of the side door.

Later God would send me to watch that addition next door being built along with the fence and I remember realizing that I would no longer be able to access the building from the rear. I think that at that point God no longer wanted me to enter from the rear.

I'm not sure at what point in time the fence and the addition for the building next door was actually built in non-miraculous life and it could have been there before the war for everyone else but me.

While in the yard of Anne's building or the building next door I walked up to the man sawing wood and asked him what he was building. He told me he was building a box to ship something in. I couldn't understand the name of the product he was saying and he tried different words for it until finally he said jam. I said, "Oh, so you're building boxes to ship jam." He said, "Yes"

I said, "Well, you sure did a nice job building that bookcase." He said, "What bookcase?" I said, "The book case up --- the ----- stairs." I started realizing half way through telling him that he wasn't the one who had built the bookcase and I slowed my speech.

I saw his eyes open wide as he looked in the direction of the bookcase and I knew that I had accidently revealed a terribly important secret.

I gasped and burst into tears. I said, "Oh no! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that. I thought you were the one who built it. Oh God, I can't believe it. Oh God, please?"

He turned back around towards me and said, "Please don't cry. It will be all right. I won't tell anyone. It will be ok." I kept on crying and said, "No, I don't know. I don't know if it will be ok. I wasn't supposed to tell you about that." I kept on crying and crying.

The man kept on trying to assure me that it was ok. He finally told me that he would get off for lunch in about 30 minutes and he asked me to wait for him. He told me that we would go to his house and have lunch and talk about it and that everything would be ok.

I think he said his name was Karl. I have a cousin named Carl and I seem to remember associating his name to my cousin's name.

I would also determine his name to be Karl in the year 2008 when I remembered my journeys and re-watched the movie "The Diary Of Anne Frank" which portrayed a suspected blackmailer named Karl. In the movie Mr. Kraler (Victor Kugler in real life) told all the Jews hiding there about a man who asked for a raise after inquiring about Otto Frank.

In 2008 I remembered that when I was 13 years old I had read a commentary in a library edition of Anne's diary about a suspected blackmailer. I think this commentary was miraculous and was put there by God for me only to read because I have not seen any similar commentaries in any other versions of Anne's diary.

In the commentary Otto Frank talked about a man and his possible blackmail and he gave a description of that man's house and neighborhood that matched Karl's house and neighborhood in my experience.

It has been too long for me to remember the name for the suspected blackmailer in the commentary but I'm certain that Otto Frank's commentary was about the man I knew as Karl because the location and description of his house was an exact match.

In December of 2008 I read a miraculous internet page at the Anne Frank House website (www.annefrank.org) that had a picture of the man I knew as Karl but I did not notice the name on the web page. The things that I read on this internet page correlated to Karl in the movie and also coincided with the suspected blackmailer in the commentary I read when I was 13 years old.

When Karl got off work for lunch we walked to his house which was not far from the building. There were two old small houses together. They looked very poor to me. We sat down on the couch in the living room.

Karl was cheerful and he started to cheer me up by telling me that he would never tell anyone and it would be our secret. He promised that everything would be all right, but then his wife came walking around the corner into the living room.

Karl's wife's eyes were wide open at first. Then she looked at Karl and narrowed her eyes while raising her eyebrows at the same time. It was obvious that she overheard us and had learned the secret. The cat was out of the bag and I was the "Kitty" responsible for letting it slip out.

Karl wanted to see me again so he asked me to meet him after I got out of school. I think Karl told me that he worked at another location and he wanted me to wait for him outside the building at 263 Prinsengracht until he came there from the other location.

In the commentary that I read when I was 13 years old Otto Frank explained that the possible blackmailer was not a regular employee for his businesses. I think he said he was a contractor hired to help ship products.

I made friends with Karl and his wife and I thought they were just a foreign couple here in the United States. I would go see them once in a while. I don't remember how often.

Once, when I went to the building on Prinsengracht to wait for Karl to get off work at another location, I met a woman. I think I was waiting outside the back doorway to 265 Prinsengracht (This was next door to the building where Anne hid) when a woman saw me and came out to talk to me.

She asked me what I was doing there and I told her I was waiting on Karl. I think she knew him.

She asked me if I had come through the building and I told her that I had not so then she asked me if I had climbed over a fence. I told her no and she shook her head and looked at me strangely. This leads me to believe that the fences were already there but by a miracle they were not there for me.

While waiting for Karl she tried to get me to try some jam. I liked jelly, but I didn't like jam back then so I told her that I didn't like jam. She said, "What kind of a boy doesn't like jam?"

Once when I was with her she said, "Let's go to the warehouse." and we went there. I don't know if she worked at the building where Anne hid or the building next door but I think we went to the warehouse of the building where Anne hid.

While there I heard a loud creak coming from upstairs. I was startled by the sudden loud noise, but I quickly relaxed and I didn't say anything.

She said, "Don't worry! We all know. The office workers think we don't know, but everyone here knows about them."

I figured that Karl must have told her that I knew because if he didn't tell her about me then I don't think my reaction to the creak was revealing enough that she would have risked talking to me about it.

A few buildings down from 263 Prinsengracht there was a foot wide space between the buildings. At first I was afraid to try to squeeze through it. I think I eventually went through it because I seem to remember being proud that I did it.

One time when I was outside the building there was a young man who tried to get me to heil Hitler. I thought he was a kook. He was very serious and even grabbed my wrist and pulled it up and out trying to get me to heil Hitler.

He told me I was going to be in big trouble for not doing it. He held a Luger pistol to my head and told me that the penalty for not doing it was death. I told him that I didn't think it was death, but that even if the penalty was death I could not worship anyone but God.

He tried to tell me that it was a sign of allegiance not worship, but I told him that I thought it was worship. I said, "Doesn't heil mean hail in English?" He told me it did.

I told him that I thought it was more than allegiance and that even if I was allowed I wouldn't hail Hitler. He asked me why not and I think I told him it was because he hated the Jews.

He pushed the Luger against my head harder and threatened to shoot. I said, "If you're going to shoot me don't forget to shoot me twice." He asked, "What for?" I said, "Once for loving Jews and once for loving coloreds." He asked, "What are coloreds?" I said, "Negroes"

He said, "Well, you're just a little smart ass." He looked angry but also curious and impressed with me and he put away the gun.

He asked me where I lived. I think that I told him the street name and Northglenn, Colorado. He asked me where I lived that was near. I told him it was near. He told me it was impossible for me to live in that city and near at the same time.

He asked to see what was in my pockets. I handed him a Kennedy half dollar which amazed him. He asked who the face on the coin is and I told him it was President Kennedy. He asked me when he was president. I told him he was president until he was assassinated on November 22, 1963.

His eyes got big he refused to give the coin back to me. He gave me some of his change which was foreign currency I could not identify. Then he left me alone. At the time I was upset that he kept my Kennedy half dollar, but now I'm glad he had a coin from the future as a witness. I wish I had kept the coins he gave me, but I didn't value them or keep them.

I told my parents about my experience with the man with the Luger who tried to get me to heil Hitler and about Karl and his wife. My mom got upset and told me she didn't want me to go see anybody that she didn't know.

My mom wanted me to direct my dad (Noel) to Karl's house so we got in the car and he drove me but I could not find the area. I was confused because some streets were missing and I just couldn't understand why I was not able to find the area.

The next day I found the area in the same location that I had directed my dad to the day before.

While in this area I would often see vapor trails from aircraft fill the sky. I asked my mother why there were so many vapor trails and she told me that we lived near an Air Force base. Amsterdam was in line with the World War 2 bombing missions.

Once when I was in the area I saw a bunch of soldiers in a German halftrack. I thought they must be on their way to make a movie.

One time I wanted to see Anne and I figured I would be careful and not let anyone see me going there. I went in the front door (2nd from the left) and up the stairs. I went through a hall door and saw that the end of the hall was walled off so that I could not get to the stairs that led up to where the bookcase was from that direction (I'm sure that God made me see a wall there even though it is not walled off in non-miraculous life).

I was standing by the door to the rear office falsely assuming that it was the way to get to Anne when an attractive woman who worked in the front office came out and asked me what I was doing there. She gave me a mean hard look. I told her I wasn't there for anything and that I was just looking around. She told me I wasn't allowed to be there.

As I was leaving I saw another woman rush up to the first and they began whispering to each other. They looked upset as they watched me leave.

After I got home I thought the she sure was good looking, but mean. At first I couldn't think of why she was so upset with me, but then I figured that maybe she was trying to keep me from finding out the secret. I figured that she may have known about Anne and her family. That would explain why she was so serious.

I saw a picture of the woman about forty four years later and it turns out that I was right about her being protective. Her name is Miep Gies and she was one of the office workers who helped hide and care for those in hiding. Anne wrote about her in her diary.

I also saw a picture of the woman who went rushing up to Miep and whispered with her as I was leaving. Her name is Bep Voskuijl and she also helped hide the Jews there.

I thought Karl's wife was a beautiful woman on the outside, but inside she didn't look so good. I didn't realize how bad she was at first. She was very nice to me.

When She talked to Karl I didn't understand what she was saying because it was not in English. Most of the time she was nagging him about something. I would figure out later that it was about blackmail.

I began to notice that Karl's wife was very dissatisfied and always nagging him. I couldn't understand the language, but I knew from hand gestures that she was not happy with their home and that she was trying to get Karl to do something that would get them into a better home.

I told her that I thought her house was ok and that all it needed was a television. She asked me what a television was. I tried to explain it to her and she got exited then she yelled for Karl and I tried to explain it to him also.

I told them it was like a radio only with moving pictures and sound. They asked me if it was like a movie. I told them it wasn't on film and that it was broadcast through the air like radio. They looked very puzzled.

I felt sorry for Karl because she was so cruel to him and talked bad about him. She nagged him almost every time I went over there.

At some point I realized that Karl's wife was a threat to Anne and her family. I don't think I had figured out that she wanted Karl to blackmail Anne's family or the people hiding them at that point, but I heard her say something about calling the police on them. I decided to come at night to warn Anne.

On my way to the building with the secret annex I passed by Karl's house. The lights were on and I saw Karl look out, but I didn't think he saw me and I kept going.

When I got to the building it was unlocked. I went to the bookcase, but I could not figure out how to open it.

There was a map above the bookcase that I began to look at. I noticed that it was not a map of anywhere in the United States so I figured that the building must have foreign owners.

While I was looking at the map Karl had quietly come up the stairs and snuck up behind me. I was just about to knock on the wall beside the bookcase when Karl grabbed me with one hand over my mouth. He carried me down the stairs and out of the building. Once outside he ran with me about 20 more feet and then he stopped and let me down.

Karl told me he would uncover my mouth and talk with me, but that I was not to yell.

Karl uncovered my mouth and faced me and said, "What are you doing?" I replied, "I was going to warn Anne about your wife. She's talking about calling the police on Anne and her family." Karl said, "I know she talks about it, but she's just talk. She's not going to do anything. I won't let her. She knows what I'll do to her if she does that."

Karl also said, "Look, you don't understand. Even if you warn them it would only scare them. It's not going to help them. They don't have anywhere else to go. Now, I'm sure they heard us and they are going to be frightened.

We need to make this look like this wasn't about them. We need to make this look like a thief was here. We need to take something so that they don't get terribly frightened."

We went into the building and looked for something to take. I went to the front office and saw a clock and cleared off the shelf it was on. Karl came to the room where I was at and told me to leave the clock. He said the clock was too expensive and he had found something to take.

We went downstairs and Karl picked up an overhead projector and we left.

I remember being afraid of God's judgment for being involved in a burglary. I was too young to fully understand that it was staged for their peace of mind and wasn't really a burglary. I shook and was full of fear for several days.

One time when I was at Karl's house he threatened his wife in front of me. She was nagging him and then she started to make the call that she wanted him to make herself. She tried to hand the phone to Karl and when he shook his head no then she put the phone to her ear.

Karl grabbed the phone out of her hand and hung it up then pointed his finger at her and said something not in English.

I didn't know it at the time but I now realize what Karl said to her. I know from the seriousness and intensity of Karl as he shook his finger at her that he threatened to kill her if she made that call.

I now believe that Karl's wife was nagging him to pressure him to blackmail Otto Frank through Victor Kugler. I can now piece together my memories and the circumstances plus what I read on the internet to draw that conclusion.

I think she saw blackmail as an opportunity of a lifetime and the only chance they would have to get out of the poverty they were in.

Sometimes when she nagged her husband she would point at her surroundings then plead with him to do something. She would be angry at him for not doing something about it. She would act like the only reason they were poor was because Karl just wouldn't do it.

When I was a child I didn't know what blackmail was so I didn't realize what was going on. I finally figured out that Karl's wife wanted to call the police on Anne, but I didn't know what her reasons were.

I still don't understand her reasons for her wanting to call the police. I understand that she could gain from blackmail, but she could not gain much from calling the police. I read that there was a reward for turning in Jews, but that it was not much money. She may have wanted to call the police for that money if it's true that they paid a bounty on Jews.

She may have wanted to call the police just to spite her husband for not being willing to blackmail them.

I should have stopped going over to Karl's house, but she was nice to me and I figured Karl would keep her from calling the police on Anne. I also liked to look at her though I would deeply regret it later.

The last evening that I spent at Karl's house his wife asked me to come over while he wasn't there. Karl had gone to the store and She saw me looking at her breasts. It was soon after that she asked me to come over in the morning after Karl left for work.

I told her I could not come then because she was married. She started insulting Karl and told me that what they had wasn't a marriage. I knew it was a sin to be alone with someone's wife even though I was too young to know what sex is all about.

At the time I thought that she might want to kiss and hold me, but that was just a suspicion. I don't know for certain why she wanted to be alone with me.

I don't know what she thought she could do with an 8 or 9 year old boy. Maybe she wanted to spend more time with me and just talk.

She asked me why I didn't love her like I loved Anne. She said, "What does Anne have that I don't have?" I started to tell her that Anne was a Christian, but then I remembered Anne asked me not to tell anyone because her family wouldn't understand. I said, "Anne's - I promised Anne I wouldn't tell anybody."

She seemed upset with me for keeping a secret from her.

She told me that if I didn't come over in the morning that she would call the police on Anne. I said, "I will be here. Please don't call the police!"

She said, "Don't be upset! Everything will be ok. I'll make you feel so good that you'll forget all about Anne."

When I began remembering my journeys to Amsterdam I was very puzzled and troubled by my inability to understand why Karl's wife blackmailed me to come see her while her husband was gone. She seemed to be planning on having sex with me but it didn't make since to me because I was only an 8 year old boy.

I now think that God made me appear older than my age of 8 years old and that she was planning to have sex with me.

While I was praying and seeking understanding from God about why Karl's wife asked me to come see her I remembered having met 2 people who appeared older than their actual ages.

In late 1974 I met Ashley Judd who was only 6 years old, but she appeared to me to look at least 13 years old.

At that time I worked with her mother Diana and her sister Wynonna at a Ford dealership in Oak Cliff, Texas.

In late 1974 Christina's name had not yet changed to Wynonna and she was too young to work (She was only 10 years old). Wynonna appeared to be about 20 years old when she appeared to work with me in late 1974.

Diana and Christina did not change their names to Naomi and Wynonna until 1979 according to a biography I read.

My experiences with the Judds and Stevie Ray Vaughan who also appeared to work with me at that Ford dealership were at least partly miraculous and do not coincide with their biographies.

The biography that I read for Diana made no mention of her living in Texas and the biography that I read for Stevie Ray Vaughan said he stopped working non-musician jobs in 1973.

In 1974 Wynonna told me that she and her mother planned on becoming country western singers and Diana told me that Ashley intended on becoming an actress. This was many years before they made those plans.

I debated Ray about Ashley's age and he was looking at me like I was a child molester. He told me that she looked about 6 years old, but in my sight her breasts were too large for her to have been younger than 13 and she looked about 16 years old.

In 1974 I prayed asking God to help Stevie Ray Vaughn and the Judds achieve their ambitions.

I think that Karl's wife viewed me as a more mature boy just as I saw Ashley and Wynonna older and more mature than their actual ages.

Karl came home and I wish I had told him about his wife's threat. I don't know why I didn't just tell him.

I may not have told Karl thinking that she was out of his control and that he would not be able to stop her from calling the police on Anne.

I remember being excited about being with her. I may have figured that as long as I had to do it to protect Anne I might as well enjoy it. It may be that I didn't tell Karl because I wanted to spend time with her alone.

In hind sight I wish I had told Karl and not gone there that terrible day.

When I went to the door to leave, Karl's wife went with me and reminded me that she would call the police on Anne if I didn't show up on time.

Karl's wife had told me that she was going to get her hair done and that she would leave the back door unlocked.

While in bed I seem to remember praying and crying and finally telling the Lord that he would have to protect Anne because I just couldn't go be with Karl's wife.

It was like I was dreaming when I suddenly found myself beside Karl's house. I don't think I started out for Karl's on my own.

Once I found myself there I decided that I had to go through with it for Anne's safety.

I hid out back until 15 minutes after Karl was suppose to leave for work.

As I was sneaking towards the back door Karl suddenly came out the front door and I saw him walking towards the building.

I froze in my tracks and hoped that he would not turn around and see me. Karl turned his head left and looked over his shoulder right at me. He then turned his head back around and continued walking away.

He did not look back around again, but I thought by the way he shook his head back and forth a couple times while he was walking away that he had seen me. I hoped that maybe when he looked at me it didn't register but it did.

I wanted to leave at that point, but I was afraid she would call the police on Anne if I did so I figured that I had to see it through. After Karl was out of sight I opened the back door and went inside.

I went to the bedroom and I looked inside the closets.

Her closet was a double door closet and it was full of real pretty and expensive looking clothes.

His closet was small and it only had 3 pairs of pants and 3 shirts and an extra pair of the black leather connected suspenders with the emblem in the middle of the connection strap. All the shirts and pants were identical.

Karl looked the same every day. All his shirts were white t-shirts and all his pants were black slacks. He changed his clothes, but only into the same modest thing.

I remember getting excited looking at her clothes. I would regret it later when it would haunt me to think that I wanted her. I was lying on the bed and waiting for her to get home.

When Karl's wife got home she came into the room and looked upset. She lit up a cigarette and paced the floor in front of the dresser. She was very angry.

I would realize about 44 years later that God must have made me invisible to her because she did not respond to anything I said. I did not see her look at me. When I said, "Well, I'm here like you asked" she kept pacing and did not say anything to me or look at me.

She picked up the phone and tried to make a call. When there was no answer she acted like she couldn't believe or accept it. She acted like there was no reason that it should not be answered. She let it ring and ring for a long time. She hung up the phone and tried again a few minutes later. Again, she let it ring a long time, but there was no answer.

Karl came home a few minutes later. I hid behind the bed while they went to the living room.

I couldn't understand what they were saying at the time because it was not English, but now I'm sure she was demanding for the last time that he blackmail Anne's family or the people who hid her. Karl wouldn't do it and walked down the hall towards the back door.

I tried to leave but only got as far as the kitchen. I went into the kitchen area and hid behind a cabinet.

Both the entrances to the kitchen did not have doors and there was no wall in-between the kitchen and living room. There was a row of cabinets with a countertop on top of them that divided the living room from the kitchen.

I thought about crossing the living room and leaving out the front door, but I didn't know when Karl would come back down the hall to the living room where I saw his wife while peeking out beside the cabinets.

Karl's wife was very angry and had a look of contempt on her face. She quietly picked up the phone and went to the far side of the living room so Karl couldn't hear her. I heard her use a word similar to police and I knew that she had called the police.

When she finished her call she walked back to the table by the chair and as she was setting the phone down in its normal place Karl walked around the corner.

At first I didn't think that Karl had seen her set the phone down because he didn't react or shift his eyes. He continued to walk towards her then he stopped. He looked her in the eyes for several seconds then his eyes slowly shifted down towards the phone and slowly back towards her eyes.

For several more seconds nothing was said and they just looked at each other's eyes.

Finally she popped off an admission. Even though I didn't know the language I could tell by her tone that she had admitted making the call and she was acting like she didn't care if he knew it.

She tried to walk around him and leave the room, but he put his arm out and stopped her. She turned around and was facing the same direction as him. He had his hands on the sides of her shoulders. Karl didn't say anything and just held her there. He was behind her and off to the side.

She tried once to pull away from him, but he stopped her. She didn't try to get away or struggle after that. She lowered her shoulders and just stood there.

Karl gradually shifted his hands up and over her shoulders then towards her neck. Her attitude and demeanor changed with each slow shift of his hands toward her neck.

At first she seemed impatient and put upon by his detainment of her. Then when he shifted his hands she acted like she didn't take it seriously. She acted as though he was just trying to scare her and she scoffed at the game she thought he was playing.

Then another shift of his hands came and she looked puzzled. The shift after that brought concern. Then Karl shifted his hands again and she looked troubled. Then his hands were starting to press on her neck and she looked afraid.

As he began to squeeze she realized that it was not a game and she began to look sad. Her eyes began to well up with tears.

As he continued to squeeze she seemed to plead for forgiveness with her eyes. She looked at her husband Karl as if to ask him to remember their good times together. For the first time I saw her look at Karl like she loved him.

As the pressure became intense she began to look full of regret. She seemed to be full of true remorse and not just at what was happening to her. She seemed to give acknowledgement that she recognized she had done something terrible. She appeared to be making a self evaluation then she looked ashamed.

In her final state she looked broken, and surrendered. She seemed to lower her eyes in humility.

I saw the blood vessels in her eyes break and they were full of red blotches.

A minute later Karl slowly lowered her to the floor.

I saw everything while peeping out from behind the cabinet through the kitchen's entry way. The reason that Karl couldn't see me is because his head was turned the other way. I don't think he looked at his wife once while he strangled her.

If Karl had looked at her while he was choking her I'm certain that he would have stopped. I think it would have been impossible for him to look at her regret and sorrow and not be moved.

Karl was completely void of any emotion the whole time. He did not look angry, sad, mad or upset. He looked like the robots in the Terminator movies. It was like he was doing nothing more than stepping on a spider. I didn't understand how he could look so unconcerned. He acted like he was doing nothing more than taking out the garbage.

At first I thought that she must have called the police on him because she must have known that he was a danger to her. I continued to hide behind the partition of countertop cabinets. I thought the police would be coming.

I shook and squirmed the whole time I hid. All the muscles on the front side of my abdomen and chest were knotted. I forced my breathing to be slow and shallow in order not to make noise.

I was afraid that Karl would kill me if he saw me. I was terrified beyond belief!

I heard Karl go down the hall then come back and sit in the living room chair. I peeked out once and saw him drinking a beer.

I kept wondering when the police would get there. I was sure she had called them. I waited over 15 minutes and still they had not shown up to rescue me. I began to question myself on why they had not come.

Then I remembered the look of contempt on Karl's wife's face and I remembered that she had threatened to call the police on Anne. I also remembered Karl pointing his finger at her and warning her not to make a call that she wanted him to make. I then realized that she had not called the police on Karl, and that she had called the police to report Anne and her family.

Once I realized that Anne had been arrested my grief was so great that I could not contain it. I burst into tears and started crying very loudly as I stood up.

I thought that Karl might come kill me to eliminate me as a witness, but I was past the point of being able to do anything about it.

I was so panicked and grieved at the realization of Anne getting arrested that even though it might cost me my life I still could not contain my grief.

I walked into the living room and beat my fists into Karl's chest while screaming and crying, "Anne got arrested" over and over again.

Karl put his arms around me as I collapsed to a sitting position on the edge of the couch while still crying loudly, "They arrested Anne" over and over again.

I hoped that Karl would respond by telling me that she had not been arrested. His silence confirmed my horror.

Karl sat down beside me and began to softly pat me on the back as I sat on the edge of the couch, crying and crying.

I told Karl that I needed to go warn them but Karl told me it was too late.

When I was completely spent and numb from crying I said, "It's all my fault." Karl softly said, "No son, none of this is your fault." It was the first time I ever remember being called son by anybody.

Karl said, "You need to try and forget all about this. You need to leave this place."

I stood up and looked at Karl's wife's motionless body on the floor 2 feet away. I felt sorry for her but I felt at peace about her death.

I walked to the back door and Karl went with me. I went through the door and turned around.

Karl softly said, "You go home now. Try to forget this if you can. This is a place of sorrow for you. Never come back to this place."

I hung my head and started walking. I walked slowly, looking down the whole way. As I walked I felt stung all over.

When I got just past the corner of the wall I looked back. It no longer looked different. I was puzzled because both sides of the wall looked the same. Both sides of the wall looked like Northglenn.

When I got home I turned on the TV and tried to find news of Anne's arrest, but there was nothing.

I could not stop crying and I became so full of grief that I asked God to make me forget Anne completely. With tears pouring out of my eyes I prayed, "Lord, I love Anne, but please remove her from my memory."

I think that God removed her from my memory because of what happened immediately after I asked for Anne to be removed from my memory.

I remember turning around and I saw somebody (I think it was Jesus because he looked like the one who took me to Montreux) for a split second and then he disappeared.

Then I was called for dinner and my mother asked me if I had been crying. I lifted my shoulders like I didn't know what she was talking about and then with a smile I happily told her that the spaghetti we were about to eat was my favorite meal.

When I was 13 years old I read a library copy of Anne's diary, but it did not restore enough memories for me to realize what had happened.

I read about the no forced entry burglary and I also read about the projector that was taken but none of it reminded me of the night that Karl and I had been there and staged it to look like a burglary.

I read several miraculous commentaries in the library copy of Anne's diary.

I read a commentary about an English speaking boy that had found his way into the secret annex on the first day that the Franks went into hiding. I read that Victor Kugler concluded that the boy must have entered the secret annex when it was opened for the arrival of the Franks.

While reading that commentary in the library copy of Anne's diary I didn't realize that the boy I was reading about was me.

I read a commentary about a man (I was 13 years old a long time ago so I don't remember the name given for this man in the commentary) who inquired about Otto Frank then pointed toward the bookcase and said, "Wasn't there a door there?" and then he asked Victor Kugler for a raise.

I read Otto Frank's description of the location and appearance of the house where the man who asked for a raise lived. I now remember those descriptions and it matched the location and appearance of Karl's house exactly as I remember.

In the commentary Otto also described the wife of the man who asked for a raise and when I read it I got a brief flash remembrance of Karl's wife because I remember thinking that she was better looking than Otto was describing.

Then I was confused about why I had thought I knew her because I suddenly realized that I could not have known her because all this happened before I was born. I was getting some flashbacks but not enough to bring me to the realization of what had occurred when I was 8 years old.

In December of 2008 when I was 52 years old I started to remember the miraculous journeys of my youth.

I began to remember my journeys to Amsterdam about 2 weeks after I asked God to forgive the drug abuse of my youth and restore my memories.

I began remembering my journeys to Amsterdam about 10 days after I started remembering my journey to Montreux Switzerland and about one week after I began remembering my journey to witness the Kennedy assassination.

Within a few days of asking God to forgive my drug abuse and restore my memories I read a web page about Karl on the internet at the Anne Frank House website (www.annefrank.org).

I know from a review of the browser's history that I read a web page about the man I knew as Karl earlier on the same night that I read about the Montreux Casino fire on the internet.

That night I realized for the first time that I had been sent by God to Montreux but I didn't start to remember my miraculous journeys to Amsterdam until about 10 days later.

However, the things I saw and read that night set me up for remembering my journeys to Amsterdam though it took 10 days for the realization to occur.

On the internet web page I saw a picture of a man (Later I would remember this picture and realize that it was the man that I saw strangle his wife) and I read that he was the suspect for betraying Anne to the authorities.

I read on this internet web page that he was the man who asked Mr. Kugler for a raise just after asking him about what happened to Otto Frank and asking about the door to the secret annex.

I read that just before he asked for the raise he also pointed toward the bookcase and asked, "Wasn't there a door there?"

I did not notice his name on the web page because this was before I remebered my journeys to Amsterdam so I didn't think to pay attention to his name.

On the web page I also read that his wife was found strangled 10 days after the raid on the secret annex. I didn't realize that this was the strangulation that I had witnessed as a boy until I remembered my journeys 10 days later. Ten days later I realized that the picture of the man that I saw on the web page was the man that I knew as Karl.

At the time that I read this web page I figured that he was the one who betrayed Anne not his wife. I figured that he was probably a murderer and if he was capable of murdering his wife then he was evil enough to betray Anne.

Once my memories were restored I searched the computer browser's history trying to find the web page that I had seen about 10 days earlier.

The only link I found related to Anne Frank was to the Anne Frank House website though there were many links for the Deep Purple and Montreux websites which I had visited on the same night.

The browser's history was set to record 2 months back so I should have been able to retrieve that web page, but it was not there at the Anne Frank House website.

I remember the picture that I saw and he was wearing those same suspenders that were connected in the front with an emblem on the cross strap.

God may have put that web page there for my eyes only and that may be why I can't find it now.

There are many pictures and things that I have read from all my journeys that lead me to believe that God has shown me things on the internet and maybe in books to help me remember later on but not at the time that I saw and read them.

I believe that God put these miraculous things before my eyes only.

I searched Anne Frank links on the internet to find information about a man named Karl. I couldn't find anything at all about him.

Two investigations into who betrayed Anne and the other 7 people hiding with her were conducted after the war. They focused on the 2 warehouse workers and Karl was not one of them.

I don't understand why Karl was not considered a suspect because in the first movie and also in the miraculous web page and commentary there was a man who asked for a raise from Mr. Kugler after giving hints that he knew people were hiding there.

When the investigations were conducted after the war they made no mention of Karl at all. It's as though he didn't ever work there. I'm not sure what Karl's position was at the building but I think he was a part time contractor.

In the commentary that I read in the library copy of Anne's diary which I read when I was 13 years old I seem to remember Otto Frank describing the suspected blackmailer as a man who was not a normal employee and I think he said that he was a contractor.

I believe the commentary was miraculous and it is not in any copies of Anne's diary that I have read since remembering what happened.

In the movie, "Anne Frank - The Whole story" it shows Willem Van Maaren talking with Victor Kugler and inquiring about Otto Frank after finding a wallet that belonged to Mr. Van Pels.

I think the producers of this movie think that if there was suspected blackmail as portrayed in the original movie then they think it was Willem. Unlike the original movie there is no mention of a man named Karl in this movie.

I think that because there is no record of a man named Karl working at the building and nobody by that name was investigated after the war they (The producers of the second movie) figure that the original movie must have changed the name of the suspected blackmailer just like it did for several well known characters in the movie.

The original movie did not use real names in many cases. For example: The name Kraler was used for Kugler and the name Van Daan was used for Van Pels.

I think both movies got some things wrong.

The movie, "Anne Frank - The Whole Story showed the wife of a warehouse worker named Lena Hartog as the one who was the betrayer.

I think this movie assumed it was her because a person at the SD who answered the betrayal call remembered that it was a woman's voice on the line before transfering the call to Julius Dettman who did not identify the caller before he commited suicide at the end of the war.

I know that Lena was not the betrayer because she was not strangled and she lived for many years after the war was over.

Willem Van Maaren was an employee who worked every day for Otto Frank's companies (Opekta and Pectacon) at the building where Anne hid and took over as warehouse manager in 1943 but in the commentary that I read when I was 13 I think I read that the suspected blackmailer was described as someone who was not a regular employee.

If Victor Kugler had told all the people hiding there about the suspected blackmailer as the original movie portrayed then I think that Anne would have written about it in her diary. That was something very serious and scary yet she did not write about it.

I think that Victor Kugler may have talked to Otto Frank privately about Karl and after the war they may have concluded that Karl didn't turn them in to the authorities and not wanting a man that they considered innocent to be investigated they may have kept Karl a secret.

This is conjecture on my part but it is very difficult to explain why Karl was not investigated after the war.

I have seen a picture of Willem Van Maaren and he did not look like Karl and there is no record of Willem going by the name Karl.

Willem was there and talked to the police that raided the annex but Karl was not there unless he went after I had left. I think that the raid had already occurred before I left Karl's house because when I talked to Karl about warning Anne that the police had been called, Karl told me it was too late.

In the investigations into who betrayed the Jews who hid at 263 Prinsengracht there was no mention of Willem Van Maaren's wife having been murdered and if she had then I'm sure that his employers would have known about it so I don't think that he was the man I knew as Karl.

I think that Karl may have appeared satisfied with the raise and along with the passage of time it may have been enough to convince Victor Kugler that Karl didn't know anything or was not going to do anything if he did know.

It still seems strange to me that Karl was never investigated but I don't think he is Willem Van Maaren who was investigated and was considered the prime suspect.

Willem Van Maaren set traps to try to find out if anyone was walking around in the warehouse after hours.

A woman told me that everybody knew about the Jews hiding there so I think she told me before Willem came to work there or Willem may have known they were up there and was just curious to find out if they came down at night while he was gone.

Just because he set traps to find out if they came down at night it does not mean that he would betray them.

Another possible explanation for Karl not having been investigated is that perhaps he never asked for a raise.

What I read on the internet web page and the commentary could have been fiction placed there by God to eventually remind me of my experiences and cause me to realize that Karl's wife was the one wanting to blackmail Otto Frank.

God may also have placed this possible fiction into the mind of the original movie screen writer.

I'm certain that Karl was not blackmailing them even if he did ask for a raise.

Karl may have pressured them for a raise but he never directly blackmailed them even though I'm sure his wife was pressuring him to do it. Karl refused to blackmail them even though it brought his wife's wrath and cruelty down on him.

I know from how Karl's wife spoke to me about her husband that she did not think that he was much of a man. She constantly insulted him and not just to me but she also insulted Karl to his face.

She may have insulted Karl for not being enough of a man to stand up to his employers and for allowing them to use him. I think she may have challenged her husband's honor so that Karl had to get a raise to prove her wrong and show that he was not being used by them.

It is obvious to me that she was not going to accept her husband's refusal to blackmail his employer without a vicious fight and if Karl did not get that raise it would have been extremely difficult for him to debate his wife and fight off her obsession to blackmail Otto Frank through Victor Kugler.

In the movie, "The Diary of Anne Frank," Mr. Frank and Mr. Kugler discussed what to do about Karl. They decided to give Karl half of the modest amount that he asked for. If true then the raise failed to calm Karl's wife at all.

Even if there was a raise she gave her husband no end of Hell's fury for his unwillingness to blackmail his employer.

Karl lived in constant turmoil and there was no peace until his hands were around his wife's throat.

One possible reason that Karl was not investigated is that God may have removed the memories of Karl from Victor Kugler and Otto Frank.

Another possible explanation for Karl not having been investigated is that perhaps Karl told Victor Kugler and Otto Frank that his wife betrayed them and that he strangled her for it. If they knew that his wife betrayed them then I think it is possible that they would not want Karl to be prosecuted for his wife's murder.

It is also possible that Karl told them about me and asked them not to reveal anything in order to protect me from publicity that would prevent me from putting this painful ordeal behind me.

I'm sure that Karl knew how devastating this was for me and that he loved me as I love him.

Karl seemed satisfied with little. Karl seemed humble and did not appear to need nice clothes or anything to validate his dignity. If it wasn't for his wife I don't think he would even have asked for a raise.

Karl's wife was so dissatisfied with her situation that she was in a panic to get out of it. I think she was probably embarrassed and too proud to accept her position. I don't think she had enough dignity to relax and try to work her way into a better life.

Her biggest problem was that she didn't know the Lord or seek his help. If she had just a little knowledge of the Bible she would have known better than to turn Jews over to the Nazis, even if she didn't know what they would do to the Jews.

Even though I didn't know what happened after the arrest at the time I knew that it would be bad and I grieved over Anne's arrest. I knew that it would be very evil. When I first realized she had been arrested I cried and it felt like my heart was ripped to pieces.

One of the reasons that God sent me on these journeys may have been to show that not knowing what the Nazi's would do is not an excuse for betraying Jews.

There is no excuse for not knowing that their mass arrest was a serious and evil thing. I figured it would be bad and I was just a boy.

Even though I was just a boy I knew that if they were rounding up all the Jews then it could not have been for something they did wrong and that it had to be for something they could not change. I knew that nobody can determine what race they are born into so I knew that what was being done to the Jews was evil.

Another reason that I think God sent me on these journeys was to witness Anne's Christian confession. Anne told me that she believed the New Testament.

There may have been a lesson in what happened about a time when it will be too late to be forgiven. Just as Karl's wife pleaded with her eyes for forgiveness and it was too late for her it will be similar when the Lord Jesus returns. The time is coming when it will be too late for a person to repent and accept Jesus' blood atonement.

God may even refuse to allow himself to even look upon genuine repentance at that time. He may even turn his head away like Karl did while executing a pre-determined judgment. I'm sure that Karl had determined what he would do to his wife in advance.

In the movie, "The Diary of Anne Frank," a phone in the building rang for a long time three times on the morning of the raid, just before they were arrested.

I think that those calls were put in the movie to remind me of the calls that I saw Karl's wife make just before the betrayal call. I think that God may have put it in the minds of the screen writers to include those calls in the movie even though they were probably made to Karl's other work location in real life.

I think that Karl's wife let the phone ring for a long time and kept trying because she had called her husband's work location and expected Karl to be there to answer it. I think that Karl wasn't there because he saw me sneaking up to his house which I'm sure upset him so that he was not able to go to work. He must have gone somewhere else to think about it.

Miep Gies, one of the people who helped hide and care for those in hiding, said that the movie was wrong in its portrayal of the office workers not being there. Victor Kugler and Johannes Kleiman were arrested and Miep said that a gun was pointed at her during the police raid.

If Karl's wife called the building where the Jews were hiding then it must have been to a phone that was not in the offices or it would have been answered by the office workers. I don't know if there was a phone in the warehouse but I think it is more likely that Karl's wife called his other work location.

Anne told me that she was going to use the code name Kitty for me, but some things that she wrote in her diary for Kitty do not fit with me.

One entry she wrote to Kitty was to let Kitty know where she had ended up or "landed." That doesn't fit with me because I already knew she was in hiding and where it was located.

One of the things she wrote to Kitty indicated that Kitty was a girl. She wrote something about how that Kitty was going to have to get over Henk (Henk was Anne's code name for Miep's husband Jan) because he was married.

Anne may have had a crush on Miep's husband herself and put it off on me thinking that I would figure out it was her. She may have wanted to remind herself to stop thinking about him.

It may be that Anne may have used the code name Kitty for a girl that she knew before going into hiding who was hot for Henk.

I don't know how to reconcile the problem that some of Anne's diary entries to Kitty don't seem to apply to me.

I have a few theories that may explain it.

• There may be another Kitty. Anne may have used the code name Kit which is short for Kitty to distinguish me from the other Kitty. There are a few entries in her diary addressed to Kit.
• Anne may have wanted for people who read her diary to think that Kitty was a girl she knew before going into hiding because she didn't want to explain who I was to anyone in the future who might ask her about Kitty. Anne's Christianity was a secret and I was her secret Christian pen pal.
• I think the most likely explanation is that after addressing her entries then Anne wrote without considering the specific person to whom she was writing.

I don't know why there is no mention of my having been there by Anne or anybody else. God may have removed me from the memories of those hiding there.

I have trouble reconciling my own involvement in Anne's arrest with the fact that God sent me on these journeys. I wonder why God would send me since he had for-knowledge that Karl's wife would find out about the people hiding through me.

I'm the one who let the cat out of the bag even though I didn't mean to do it.

I think that maybe she would have found out from somebody else and called the police anyway, but I can only guess.

What I really feel bad about is my decision not to tell Karl about his wife's blackmail threat to call the police on Anne if I didn't go see her while he was at work.

In hind sight I think I should have told Karl about her threat because then he would have had something embarrassing to confront her with that could have forced her to take a long hard look at herself.

If she had enough realization of her own wickedness then perhaps she may have been ashamed enough to come to a braking point and back down from her obsession to blackmail or report the Franks.

To my deep regret I didn't tell Karl about her threat and things could not have turned out any worse than they did.

Of the 8 people that were hiding there, only Anne's dad survived the Nazi death camps.

I wonder if my adulterous thoughts played a part in what happened. I remember that she asked me to come spend time alone with her right after she caught me looking at her breasts and I also remember being excited looking at her clothes.

I wish I had not gone there that day.

I'm ashamed about what happened and I hope nobody thinks that I would make this stuff up.