|Home About Me Email Me Topics|
1 - I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL LOOKING LIKE A GIRL
2 - TWO DIRECTIONS AT THE SAME TIME
3 - I THOUGHT THERE WAS GOING TO BE A PARADE
4 - I THOUGHT IT WAS A RIFLE DEMONSTRATION
5 - I BECAME A TARGET
6 - I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR SLEEPING IN CLASS
7 - I DID NOT BELIVE IN THE LONE GUNMAN THEORY FOR A LONG TIME
8 - EVIDENCES OF MY JOURNEY DIDN'T REGISTER
9 - I LINKED THE GASP TO THE DAY OF THE ASSASSINATION
10 - CONCLUSIONS
My mom woke me up later than normal on the morning of President Kennedy's assassination on November 22, 1963. I went to her room.
My mother handed me some new clothes and told me to put them on quickly because I was late for school. I protested wearing the new clothes she had given me because I thought they looked like girl's clothes. My mom became angry and insisted that the clothes were suitable for boys or girls.
My mom told me that she was going to write me a note to excuse me for being tardy and that I had better have those clothes on by the time she finished. She signed the note with the last name of Montague even though it was not her real name.
My mom was not married to the man we were living with whose name was Earl Montague. We all went by his last name to make it look like they were married. I was 7 years old and enrolled in the 2nd grade under the last name Montague.
Earl Montague was fairly wealthy and we lived in a very nice 3 story house built into the side of a mountain that over-looked the city of Golden Colorado. I could see the whole city from my back yard. The house looked like it was 1 story from the front or street level. The second story was the same level as the back yard which was below the street level. The 3rd story was a basement that was completely below the ground.
I put on the clothes and looked at the mirror in her room. The pants did not stop at the waste and came up in the front over the breasts and had straps. They were grey colored with a plaid design. My hair was very long and curly.
I complained again telling my mom that I had not had a hair cut in a long time and that my hair was curly like a girl's. She told me that she would get it cut later, but that I was going to school now.
I was terribly embarrassed and dreaded going to school, but I had no choice. We got in the car and she drove me to my school parking lot.
We arrived at the school and my mom stopped the car in the school's parking lot. I was still stewing with dread and I was thinking about running away.
I remember being so embarrassed that I jumped out of the car and took off running forward which is away from the school. I had only run about 15 feet when I realized that there was nowhere to go so I stopped. I turned around and started running towards the school.
As I was running up the steps of the school I tripped and hit my shin on the edge of a step. I stopped and held my leg for a few seconds while the pain subsided. I remember holding my leg and waving goodbye to my mother at the same time.
I entered the school and went up to the reception desk to give them my tardy excuse note. I searched all my pockets but I could not find the note. A woman told me that I didn't need it and that they would call my mom.
The woman told me to go on to class. I went to the class room and sat down.
It was not long before I fell asleep. I don't know if my head was on the desk or if I just nodded off. I don't know how long I was asleep.
While I was sleeping I had a journey that was like a dream except that I left evidence at the scene. The tardy excuse note went with me.
My journey or dream picked up in the school parking lot where I was running away from my mom. I ran through a huge parking lot. As I was nearing the end of the lot I saw a big orange colored brick building to my left and 2 small white concrete pavilions in front of me. I ran around the right side of the pavilions and came to a grassy area.
There was a curved sidewalk with columns on the sides' in-between the pavilions. There were 3 streets in front of me that curved closer together and went under a train bridge to my right. The names of the streets were in big letters on the bridge. The streets were named Commerce, Main and Elm. There was an area with columns and a flag pole across the 1st street and to my left. There was a sidewall that went straight down to Elm street with steps at the end of it.
I would see the area in pictures many times throughout my life. I also would see the area in person many times after I moved to Dallas in 1968. The grassy area I was at was later called the grassy knoll. The train bridge with the 3 roads that went under it would be called the triple underpass.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the tardy excuse note my mom wrote for me. In defiance I told myself that I wasn't going to school and I threw the note onto the grass of the grassy knoll.
Then I figured my mom would come after me so I ran across the 3 streets by the triple underpass. I didn't remember turning around and going to school earlier so I expected my mom to come after me. I turned around and waited for my mom to come, but she never did. After a few minutes I thought that she didn't see me run away.
While I was on the hill on the far side of the area I saw a thin man with a white t-shirt in the orange building. He was on the far side in the last window on the 6th floor. I did not count the floors, but he was on the 2nd floor from the top and the Texas School Book Depository building has 7 floors.
I thought the man I saw was a surveyor. I saw a scope with a piece of metal sticking out from it. My family had seen many surveyors while driving due to all the road construction of the late 1950's and early 1960's.
I saw many people lining the streets and I assumed there was going to be a parade. I could not imagine what else it could be.
I saw a girl over by the flag pole chasing after a beach ball. I decided to go over there to ask her if it was ok for me to play with her.
She kept running after the ball which appeared to be blown around in a rectangular pattern by the wind. She kept running after it but she never caught up to it. I did not see her kick or push the ball the whole time.
I was walking behind her but I never caught up to her. I gave up after a few minutes.
I went over towards Main street and looked in the direction of the crowds of people line up. I saw a line of cars coming.
I could not see any floats, marching bands, or baton twirlers. I thought, "What kind of a parade is this? It's nothing but a line of cars." I was disappointed.
I started walking back towards elm street and decided to cross it. As I stepped out into the street 2 policemen came running across from the other side to where I was. They ushered me across the street to the grassy knoll side. They hurried me along because the line of cars was coming.
There were too many people lining the street to see over so I got on the second or third step of the sidewalk leading to the small pavilions.
The first car of the line rounded the corner just as I had got into position where I could see. I was bored with just looking at a line of cars and I couldn't understand what all the excitement was about.
Then a shot rang out. I realized instantly that it was too loud to be a fire cracker and that it had to be a gun.
I looked up to where the sound came from and I saw the rifle sticking out of the window where I had seen what I thought earlier was a surveyor. I saw him holding the rifle and realized that he was not a surveyor and that it was more than just a sighting device he was looking through. This time I saw the whole rifle.
I was old enough to know that rifles could kill. My favorite television show was Combat starring Vic Morrow. I can still remember some of the character's names. They were Cage, Kirby and little John. I had my own toy Thompson sub-machine gun and I would play war on Castle Rock and the mountain with the big white (G) painted on it.
Even though I knew that a rifle could kill I was not scared because I assumed that this was just a rifle demonstration. I was no longer bored and I looked up with excitement as things began to make sense to me. I thought, "No wonder there aren't any floats or bands. This isn't a parade. It must be a rifle demonstration. The people in that line of cars came to see the rifle being fired."
The 2nd shot fired and was even louder than the first. I thought it was great. I was happy and excited.
I continued to look up at the rifle. I had no interest in anything on the ground.
Then the 3rd shot fired and there was an extremely loud CRACK with an echo. Even to this day I have not heard a shot as loud and crisp as this even when I was in the Army in peace time. This shot came close to my direction.
This shot was different from the first two shots because I heard the whirling of the bullet. I heard the whirl start with the crack of the rifle. The whirling sound came from the end of the barrel and went down and to my right.
The whirl ended with a whap sound and simultaneously I saw a flash of red in my peripheral vision.
I was happy and I thought, "Great! This time he hit a target. That was spectacular!" I figured they must have set up a target across the street in the grass. I assumed they had put a cardboard box with a red and white bull's-eye on it. I thought that someone may have put balloons full of red Kool-Aid in the box or rigged cans of red paint to explode when shot.
I did not take my eyes off the man with the rifle. I saw the colors green, white, and red in my peripheral vision. I knew the green color was the grass and I assumed that the target was on it. I was focusing on the rifleman and everything else was a blur. I was not interested in the target. I was fascinated with the rifleman.
After the 3rd shot the rifleman's head came out from behind the scope. He began to scan the ground near me. He was searching all around the area where I was standing.
When his eyes finally made it around to me they suddenly froze. He was looking right at me.
I saw the rifle swing around towards my direction and it did not take long for me to realize what was happening. I gasped and looked to my right. I saw a man with his head blown apart in the car beside me in the middle of the street.
I turned back the other way and took off running like a shot. I ran up the stairs toward the pavilions. I was leaping 2 steps or more at a time. I was too terrified to slow down and watch where I was stepping.
I slipped on a step and hit my shin. It hurt, but I did not stop running. I still did not slow down to watch where I was stepping.
I passed a man with a movie camera and thought, "Mister, you better stop filming and run before you get killed."
I ran around the left side of the pavilion and I continued to run. I ran out across a street that was on the front side of the orange building.
I looked and I could no longer see the rifleman in the building. I thought that he might be coming down to kill me.
I ran through the parking lot on the left side of the orange building as fast as I could.
When I could see the back side of the building I looked to see if he was there. Nobody was there or anywhere in the lot.
I was scared half to death he would appear and that I would be out in the middle of a parking lot with no place to hide. I don't remember seeing any cars in the lot.
I continued to run just in case he was coming after me. I kept running even when I could not take a breath.
I felt my knees get weak and then they gave out completely. As I was falling I tried as hard as I could to suck in a breath.
I woke up in class in Golden Colorado with a loud gasp. Everyone in my classroom turned their head towards me and looked astonished. The sound of my sucking in air was very loud.
My teacher said, "Gary, you should not sleep in school. Come see me when class is over."
I knew I was in trouble and I felt dreadful about it. I wished he would just go ahead and get it over with. I hated waiting to find out what would happen. I started watching the clock while I waited.
I thought that my being in trouble was very unfair. I didn't understand what I had done wrong. I didn't know why I fell asleep in class. I didn't know why I gasped so loud. I had no memory of my journey to Dallas at that time.
I continued to watch the clock and feel dreadful. I could not stop thinking about how unfair it was that I was in trouble. I figured I would probably get a spanking when I got home.
Sometime after noon the principal came over the loud speaker and announced that President John Kennedy had been shot and killed in Dallas Texas. It did not remind me of my journey at that time.
He had a horn blow Taps then announced that we would all be let out of school early.
When all the students were gone I walked up to the teacher's desk and asked him if he still wanted to see me. He was crying and he softly said, "No. Go home."
I went out to the long line of buses and found mine and got on board.
While I was waiting I looked up at our house on the mountain and thought, "I live on the highest place in this city, yet I've never felt so low. I just got out of trouble, yet I still feel the same dread that I felt before."
When I got home I turned on the television and started watching the assassination coverage. They said it happened in Dallas. I had never heard of Dallas before the assassination.
They announced that a man had been arrested and upon seeing him my first memories surfaced. The moment I looked at Lee Harvey Oswald on television for the first time I felt relieved and thought, "That's him! They got him. Thank God! Yeah, I saw him do it. That's him."
I was very excited and ready to call the police and tell them that they had the right man and that I saw him do it. Then I suddenly realized something and became very confused. I thought, "How can I have witnessed it since it happened in Dallas and I live in Golden."
I went to my bed and lay down and wondered how I could have been there. I fell asleep wondering about it.
When I woke up I wasn't thinking about Oswald or gasping at school and I forgot about it completely. I got up and watched them unload the casket from the President's jet at the airport.
The next day my mom was going through the laundry and became angry when she found a rip in the shin area of the new clothes that I had only worn once. She asked me how they got torn. I told her I didn't remember, but that I was glad they got torn because I didn't want to wear girl's clothes.
She told me that she was going to sow the rip and that I was going to wear them anyway. I said, "Great! So, now I'm going to look like a girl and a hobo."
I told her that she didn't know what it was like wearing those clothes and that every single person in the class had looked at me with a look of shock. I was telling a half truth because the astonished looks on all the kids faces were because of the gasp and not my looking like a girl.
My mom reluctantly went over to the trash can and threw the clothes away. She scolded me for not appreciating what she did for me. She told me she would take me to get a haircut the following day.
As time passed my parents indoctrinated me with conspiracy theories and that's what I believed for many years. They would talk about how Governor John Connally said he was hit by the second shot and that it conflicted with the Warren Commission's finding that he was hit by the first shot. They also thought that Ruby shot Oswald to silence him. What they told me seemed to make sense for a long time.
There was a large book in the school library on the Warren Commission report that I read when I was in the 6th grade. It had lots of pictures in it.
I also read books with conspiracy theories and I was well educated in them.
I always believed that it was Oswald that shot from the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository building, but I thought the head shot came from behind the grassy knoll.
30 Years after the assassination I converted to believing it was just Oswald. A man named Shelby who is the son of a Secret Service agent debated the assassination with me and told me to watch a show on TV.
That night I watched a show titled "Who was Lee Harvey Oswald?" A man on the documentary named Gerald Posner presented many explanations about bullet trajectories and where they would have to end up that convinced me that it was a lone gunman.
I also heard the testimony of a worker who was in the window on the 5th floor just below where the shots were fired. He said that he heard a boom click-click then another boom click-click and then a final boom click-click.
He did not say that he heard any shots coming from any other direction and his testimony coincided with what was found on the sixth floor. The police found 3 casings on the ground and a round in the rifle's chamber that had not been fired. The clicks were the sound of the rifle's bolt being pulled back then pushed forward.
Nobody claimed to have heard more than 3 shots. If somebody had a weapon with a silencer and shot across the grassy knoll people should have heard the whirl of the bullet.
After watching this show and reconsidering many aspects of the assassination I became a staunch advocate for the view that Oswald acted alone.
When any of my memories of my journey surfaced they were not enough to make me think they were real. I would think that I just imagined being there after the fact or dreamed about the assassination.
At some point I read that the FBI found a tardy excuse note signed by a Mrs. Montague on the grassy knoll. At the time I didn't realize it was the one I had thrown there. I just recognized the name Montague as our former name and thought it was somebody else's note.
I also saw internet pictures of a girl on the steps of the grassy knoll. She was looking in the direction of the 6th floor shooter window while everybody around her was ducking. I thought, "That girl has clothes just like the ones I had." I didn't realize that I was looking at a picture of myself.
I also saw another picture of that same child stepping over 2 stairs while running up them.
I also saw a picture of what I thought was a girl following the girl with the ball near the flag pole.
I thought that I had a fascination with the assassination and that it caused me to imagine being there. I had seen lots of pictures of the area and so I assumed that is how I knew the area.
I thought that I dreamed about running from Oswald and I occasionally remembered waking from that dream in school gasping, but I didn't think it was on the day of the assassination. I thought it could have happened anytime.
When I finally started remembering my journey 44 years later I would place the gasp on the morning of the assassination because that's how I got out of trouble for it.
It was in December 0f 2008 that I began remembering my journeys. When I remembered Karl telling me to go home in my last journey to Amsterdam it prompted me to remember the teacher telling me to go home.
Once I remembered the teacher tell me to go home while he was crying then I remembered he was crying because of the assassination. Then I remembered that I had gone up to see him because I was in trouble. Then I remembered that I was in trouble for gasping loudly while waking in class.
Once I remembered that that the assassination got me out of trouble for the gasp then I started to remember the whole journey.
I don't know why this journey occurred and I can only think of a couple of reasons why God sent me on it.
God may have wanted there to be a contrast in-between somebody that tried to eliminate a witness and somebody who did not. Oswald tried to kill me, but in my journey to Amsterdam, Karl let me walk away even though he could have easily eliminated me as a witness to the strangulation of his wife.
Karl risked spending the rest of his life in prison yet his conscious would not allow him to kill a little child. Karl must have had a clear enough conscious to be willing to face the consequences for what he did to his wife.
Oswald was not willing to face the consequences and killed police officer J. D. Tippit and he tried to kill me.
There may be a lesson against idolizing or being too fascinated with celebrities. How is it that I saw Oswald shoot President Kennedy yet nobody else did?
Everyone there was so enamored with Kennedy that even when shots rang out they were still looking at Kennedy instead of looking at the man with the rifle. They were so transfixed on the President that the shots didn't break their focus.
If anybody in the area where I was at had been looking at Oswald they would know without a doubt that the 3rd shot Oswald fired hit Kennedy's head. Since they were not on a super-natural journey they could have gone to the authorities.
I also wonder why President Kennedy himself did not react to the first shot. He should have been able to hear the whirl of that first bullet. Did he feel invincible? Why didn't he get down on the floorboard? Was he too proud to get down?
When President Reagan was shot he ducked into the car to get away. It's not fair for me to judge President Kennedy but I wonder why he didn't do like Ronald Reagan.
In my experience and thinking it should not have taken long for anybody who was in that area to figure out what was going on.