Losing Travis Niblett by Jeri Correll (Niblett)

2008 Update: I recently began contacting Travis on his MySpace page. Obviously, there are some hard feelings on both sides. Travis told people about this and suddenly I was subjected to a barrage of hate filled accusatory emails from Carl's wife Kelley's, side of the family. I was accused of only feeding my daughter PBJ sandwiches and making her wear black pants to school every day. This would have been laughable due to the sheer idiocy of those statements , had they not not been so mean. The writer went so far as to claim that I had never been physically or verbally abused. What a slap in the face to be told them by some ignorant fool! ***************************************************2009 Update: "Renee" has been having frequent arguments with her father regarding me. Any time they talk on the phone he argues with her by demenaing me. They argued over the summer bymaking her cry after she asked him to stop badmouthing me. He and his wife have decided when she emails or texts them that it is really me. It has gone on and on. She has visited a pyschologist about these issues. She chose not to visit her father over Christmas because of the constant trash talk. Why can't he just spend time with her without mentioning me? Again, this eyar they would not return her things because I would "take them and throw them away." She took pictures of her older brother and uncles but Kelley would not allow her to have them here. Kelley claims personal items are being saved in a memory book for when Renee turns 18 but even then she cannot have them until she moves out of the house and is away from me. They continually degrade her because she has chosen to love both parents. I hate that she is being ridicualed and punished simply because after 14 years he cannot move on and get over his hatred of me. It is sad his wife goes along with him against my daughter. img THE ABUSE (The picture above are my parents with Travis at age 2). On February 1st, 2005, I, Jeri Niblett Correll, lost custody of my 15 year old son. I haven't seen him in almost 8 nears nor had contact with him in over 5 years. Some of you, having never experienced Parental Alienation from a former spouse or physical abuse that sucks the esteem from your body, may judge me harshly for decisions I made. Nevertheless, here is my story. I had been married to Carl for 12 years, much of which was marred by physical abuse. He never struck me where bruises would show. My family knew, my friends knew and my co workers knew but still I remained. Abuse is cyclic and one phase after the physical or verbal battering is the honeymoon phase where the abuser promises to stop and becomes kind and repentant. I lived for those times. We wanted children and because I could not become pregnant felt our problems were my fault. Indeed, during infertility testing he accused me of having sex with the doctor, because the appointment took too long and he hadn't wanted to drive me there anyway. I ended up jumping out of the car on a freeway and running for help after he threatened to hurt me when we got home. It turned out I didn't ovulate and he had a low sperm count and motility. We looked into adoption. During the home study the worker in Arizona decided we needed to take psychological tests. Carl's score showed problems, which he blamed on being fired from the police department due to use of excessive force and an old girlfriend falsely claiming to be pregnant. Carl's own family had called the Sheriff's Department because he was threatening his father with physical harm. His younger brothers had to hold him down, according to my former mother-in-law. Carl left their mobile home but the deputies did nothing because Carl was at that time a cop for a local PD. The social worker deemed he was unfit at that time to parent and put our case on indefinite hold. Desperate for a family, we moved to California, where I had lived for several years prior to returning to Arizona. We had a case study done there and were finally approved for adoption. We moved to Riverside County after the study and they accepted our study. We became foster parents, at the urging of a co worker of mine, and I became one of their top foster parents. We were a close knit group of foster parents in the desert yet no one suspected the verbal abuse that was going on. We were placed with children immediately and ended up adopting one of them, Travis. Travis was known to me before he was ever placed with us. I knew his foster mom and had cared for him when he was a patient in my hospital. When the foster mom needed him moved I offered to take him and he was placed with us, eventually having his birth parents rights terminated. My husband did not warm up to him right away because Travis was only 23 months old and very shy. Eventually he became the highlight of the house. My parents were thrilled with their first grandchild. Two years later we received fraternal twins for adoptive placement and gave up our foster license to concentrate on our own family. I stayed home with the children for several years. All three children had prenatal drug exposure and so were high risk for problems. It fell to me to handle them and Travis was a handful. Carl's attitude was that I wanted to stay home with the kids so that was my problem. He continued to abuse me, often in front of Travis. He would tell Travis that women were whores and deserved this treatment. He once threw me and my crutches out of the house when, after a traffic accident, I was unable to get the hang of crutches with a broken leg and my arm in a sling. He threw a book and hit me in the face calling me a "Jesus freak" when I asked to go to a bible study with a friend. I gained weight from the stress and he informed me he could not live with a "whale", that he had married a slender, long-haired blonde and that's what he wanted. Ironically his current wife has short darker hair and is overweight. He began talking to a woman from the internet and one night we fought over it. He grabbed a large chef's knife and threatened me with it, stepping on my toes trying to break them so I couldn't run. He had me backed into a corner. When I tried to grab the phone to call 911 he yanked the cord from the wall. My children were sitting at the dinner table crying. I yelled to Travis to go outside and get help. Instead he moved toward his father crying not to hurt his mommy. Carl was so enraged that he turned toward Travis. I was afraid he would inadvertently hurt our crying 5 year old so I screamed for him to run. As he turned to go I ran out the back door and had a neighbor call 911. Carl grabbed the children and told me I would never see them again and took off in his work truck. Eventually he spent a couple of hours in jail and I retrieved the children.Travis proudly told me he had lied to the police "like Daddy told me" and said that nothing had happened. I told Travis he had to tell the truth. The Indio Police re-interviewed him while I waited elsewhere and Travis told them his daddy had said to lie and that he had seen Carl try to cut me with a knife. Travis was afraid to go near him during their first visitation. Let me stress here that Carl’s attorney got him a diversion and this was never brought up in court pertaining to the visitations or custody hearing. I did get physical custody of all 3 and we had joint custody. Despite anger management classes, he continued to intimidate me. I had no money to fight it since he stopped paying child support after being fired from his job. He checked up on who I was seeing and continued trying to control me. During this time Travis's behavior was becoming increasingly disruptive. He was having problems in school and was behaving inappropriately with the twins, once putting a pillow over my daughter's head trying to smother her. I decided for their safety, Travis should live at his fathers. The moment Travis moved out his father put him into counseling telling the counselor I "abandoned" him. I didn't find out about the counseling until a year later. He took his girlfriend, now his wife, to sessions and left me out. She became Travis's mother at school events, and when the school had serious issues with Travis's behavior and called me about them, Carl become angry and moved Travis to a new school and refused to tell me where. Foolishly I had started spending weekends with Carl again until I discovered he was seeing Kelley and forever walked out of the house I had wanted to be a home and back into a little apartment. I eventually met a man residing in Kansas and decided to move there. I needed permission from Carl to go with the twins. Again his control took over and he made me sign a paper giving him full custody of Travis. I knew this was not a legal paper but it got me away from Carl and his verbal abuse. The verbal abuse has continued on the phone and in emails but because he is in California it's effects are miniscule. imgPARENTAL ALIENATING Meanwhile contact with Travis became less and less. He was calling me Jeri and Kelley mom. He tried to get the twins, "James" and "Renee", to do the same. He had maintained a relationship with my parents until at age 10 he stole money from them. When confronted by his grandfather he become verbally insulting and refused to ever have anything to do with them again. He has stuck with that thought , and now at 15, calls them and me rude names and says horrible things to the twins, “James and Renee” about us. At one time Travis expressed interest in visiting Kansas. Now when Renee asked him to visit he wrote that he would never set foot here, telling her as long as SHE (me) is alive I will never go to Kansas. He berates the twins for mentioning anything about me, Kansas, their school or anything connected with their life here. He refuses to speak to them if they talk about me. He scares Renee and has tried to push her off her bike, hits her, calls her a bitch, tells her he hates her visiting etc. He calls James a baby and breaks his belongings. He tells them he only acts like he cares about them to fool his father and Kelley and they buy into his phony tears. He tells them to go home to Kansas and break my things. Coincidentally, the twins tell me their father calls me a bitch, says I lie to them about things, berates Kansas and tries to tempt them to move to California by promising James Travis’s old truck to drive, fewer rules etc. I have heard him on the phone in the past call me names and berate me to them but according to the twins he really turns it up a few notches when they visit during the summers and every other Christmas. This has increased tenfold since I discovered 2 years ago I had the legal right to Travis’s school and medical records. By tracking Travis down through info from the twins I sent letters citing that law to his schools. His high school chose to tell Carl they were sharing information with me, although I had been receiving it sporadically since he was in middle school. Once Carl knew I was getting information in the mail about Travis he called in Feb 2003 and accused me of causing trouble, threatened to go for sole custody of Travis to put an end to this, and possibly sue for custody of the twins.He sates in court records Travis has told he and Kelley "things he remembers about how I abused him when he lived with me." He also states he has people in California prepared to testify against me if I try to do anything else regarding Travis or the twins. He has always told me if I left him he would take the kids from me no matter what it took. He is trying to make good on his promise. Hopefully the threat to bury me in the desert to get rid of me once and for all is not on his agenda anymore. Carl blames me for all of Travis’s problems and spouts this to anyone who will listen. Those who listened were his attorney, the mediator , Travis’s previous counselor and now the judge. He accused me of abusing Travis yet he abused US. He falsely accused my current husband of sexual abuse when Renee was about 7, claiming he had her examined by a doctor and had called the police and social services. He threatened not to return the children. I called DPSS in Indio, Ca, and spoke with a supervisor who could find no trace of any calls and said these things typically happen at the end of summer visits between warring ex spouses. My daughter was hysterically crying when I spoke with her on the phone about the supposed abuse claiming she had never said my husband had touched her. Carl had to prompt James on what to say on the phone and he , too, denied abuse. I was angry he had put Renee through any of this. When I called his home I spoke to Kelley and asked her about the case worker who came to see the children. She not only couldn’t recall the name she couldn’t recall if it was male or female! Hemming and hawing because I had caught her lying for her husband she hung up. I should add that all 3 children suffer from ADHD and are on medication. This has resulted in slow weight gain for Renee which we are addressing here at a major children’s hospital. Carl tells me Kelley weighs them every summer and documents slow growth. He tells me she documents anything they can try to use against me. The twins are aware this is going on. They are very upset by their visits to California, wanting only to enjoy time with their father, instead being subjected to verbal abuse by their non-biological older brother and their father’s constant trashing of their family. James suffers behavioral problem which we feel are related to his need to agree with his father about me and tell him lies to fuel the anger so as he puts it “Dad sees me in a good light.” He admits he is afraid Travis and fears his father will reject him if he doesn’t go along with their berating. He also admits he doesn’t like having to do homework and follow rules because at his father’s the rules are very relaxed. I explained there was no bedtime and no schoolwork because it was summer and things would be more relaxed here then too but they have never spent a summer with me. I filed to move jurisdiction from California to Kansas because we have been here 8 years. It should have been a no-brainer to move it but Carl filed a counter suit to block it and go for sole custody of Travis. Travis will be 18 in 2 years so why he waited until now is obviously revenge for school records and my simple lawsuit. It does not remove custody or change things in any way other than giving Kansas say so over legal matters since we live here. A newer judge on the bench, however, denied my request because there is a child still in California even though contact is limited between the twins and Travis. Then we were required to meet with a mediator to decide what was best for Travis. I was present by phone. The mediator claimed he would recommend continued joint custody and that Travis be placed into counseling with an eventual contact via that counselor between Travis and I. Carl gets to choose and bias the counselor with more lies. The same judge again sided with Carl and granted sole physical and legal custody of Travis to him. He has to get Travis into counseling by 3/1/05 but again he is choosing the counselor and he is such an accomplished liar I doubt this will ever amount to much. PAS works! The justice system doesn’t. Now you may say I am saying this only because I lost on 2 different things. I lost ALOT. This empowers Carl to turn up the PAS with James because he successfully got Travis. It shows that with the right attorney and the right judge it is very easy to make false accusations and smile while you lie like hell and get the results you want. Truth and trying to do the right thing have no place in the juvenile courts. I saw things happen in the system as a foster parent and now I see them first hand as Carl attempts to make good on his threats to take the children away from me. img UPDATE 3/8/05 Carl has refused my requests to let me know who Travis is seeing for his counselor. The copy of the papers he filed in court for sole custody of Travis are full of half truths. The phone records supposedly showing he called the kids alot actually have several where the kids were in Indio calling me or their friends. A few calls were to me while the kids were in school. Does the judge care? Apparenly he isn't interested in accuracy. James continues to hear how he can get a truck to drive if he will agree to move to California. Mind you he is only 13. Carl continues to play games and has "witnesses" lined up to testify against me. He is willing to use the children in court according to the papers he filed. Now who out there knows me anymore? Kelley's family? Never met any of her family or their friends. His wife must be very desperate to go along with his lies. Up until 3 years ago or so he continued to tell me we had not tried hard enough to work things out between us. One of these conversations was overheard by my husband who can testify to what he heard. Isn't it funny sadly that a man cannot let go of his anger after 9 years. He should be concentrating on his current wife instead of filling so much time obsessing over getting at me.There are alot of folks who believe his obsession at getting the kids away from me is spurred by the fact I refused to go back to him, especially when he said his current marriage was not so hot. I can't tell you the numerous phone calls "about the kids" (which he denies to the mediator we ever even spoke) that involved rehashing old times and how we should have worked to heal our marriage. Losing Travis Niblett

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