DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is a tag team match scheduled for ONE fall! On his way first to the ring, hailing from New Port, California, weighing in at 265 pounds… The Absolute Being… DORIAN BLACK!!!
"To What Ends" by Thrice echos throughout the arena as Dorian Black walks out. The crowd boos and he thinks nothing of it. He struts to the ring with a smirk on his face. He climbs in the ring and brushes off his shoulders.
Scott Benjamin: And his partner, hailing from Nagasaki, Japan, weighing in at 180 pounds… The Japanese Phenom… STRYKER CLOUD!!!
The arena lights fade to a light hue of blue as "Asiattacker" begins playing over the BlazenTron. The crowd cheers loudly as Stryker Cloud slowly rises up from the center of the stage while smoke consumes him. Once he has risen, Cloud folds his hands and bows traditional Japanese style, causing two large pillars of flame to surround Cloud. As the crowd cheers, Stryker Cloud slowly walks up the ring steps and bows again in the center of the ring.
Buzz: Stryker Cloud is a former United States Champion. Dorian Black has yet to capture BWF gold, but his chance will come as both he and Cloud are entered as a team in the tournament to crown World Tag Team Champions.
Gore: Ah, that’s nothing. Tag titles are for pussies that need help to win a title. Not my kind of belt at all.
Buzz: Than thank God you’re not a wrestler.
Scott Benjamin: And their opponents… introducing first, hailing from Flin Flon, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at 245 pounds… THE CANADIAN HERO!!!
“Un-American” hits the BlazenTron. The lights dim red with white strobe lights as The Canadian Hero stands at the ramp waving the Canadian flag. He looks around and salutes the crowd, then trips half way down the ramp, rolling the rest of the way to the ring.
Scott Benjamin: And his partner, hailing from Buffalo, New York, weighing in at 252 pounds… AUSTIN PYROMANIA!!!
"Don't Play With Fire" by Tupac Shakur hits the BlazenTron and Austin makes his way to the ring as a giant flash of pyro rips through the arena. He gets into the ring and raises his arms high as pyro shoots up from the turnbuckles and down from the rafters.
Buzz: Did you know that Canadian Hero and Dorian Black are former BWF Tag Team Champions together?
Gore: Yeah, but did you know that they broke up because Black was able to realize that Hero was nothing but a chumpstain?
Austin and Stryker Cloud start the match off. Austin charges Cloud, who leaps up and nails a flying headscissors takedown. Cloud rolls to his feet and into his corner, where Black tags himself in, runs into the ring, and goes for the cover as referee Tony Socia counts.
Gore: Ooh, Austin didn’t even feel that! Come on, Black! That all you got?
Austin easily kicks out and starts rising to his feet. Dorian Black is already there and grabs Austin’s legs, pulls him onto his back and starts swinging him around! Stryker Cloud leaps onto the top rope and perfectly times a flying legdrop onto Austin’s neck! Black goes for the cover.
The Canadian Hero jumps into the ring and breaks up the pin. With the referee holding Stryker Cloud back, Canadian Hero and Austin Pyromania nail Black with a double powerbomb!
Buzz: Hero and Austin get an illegal double team on Black, and he looks hurt!
Gore: Hey, it’s only illegal if you get caught.
Austin goes for the cover.
Austin Pyromania stands up and tags in Canadian Hero. Hero enters the ring as Black is reaching his feet. Black turns around and walks into a snap suplex from Hero which goes into a pin!
Canadian Hero stands up and taunts Dorian Black as Cloud starts clapping, trying to rally them behind Black. Dorian reaches his feet and walks into a bodyslam from Hero, followed by a kneedrop. Hero drags Black to his corner and tags in Austin. Austin picks Black up and delivers a snapmare, followed by a kneedrop. Austin picks Dorian Black up by the hair, kicks him in the gut and goes for the Pyrotechnics Stunner, but Black pushes him into the ropes and scores with a standing dropkick to a huge pop!
Buzz: And just like that, Dorian Black is back in business! This one is still going strong!
Canadian Hero tries to get involved, but Stryker Cloud leaps into the ring, kicks him in the gut, and nails him with a Shin-Zantetzu Suplex over the top rope, sending Hero tumbling to the outside! Cloud runs to the other side of the ring, leaps onto the top, and nails a shooting star press off the top rope to the rising Hero! Austin rises to his feet in the center of the ring and Black moves in, scoring with a Blackout! Black goes for the cover as Cloud and Hero fight on the outside!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentleman, here are your winners as the result of a pinfall… STRYKER CLOUD AND DORIAN BLACK!
“To What Ends” hits the BlazenTron as Dorian Black stands in the center of the ring, grinning. Cloud and Hero are gone, having fought into the backstage area.
Buzz: What a match from both of these teams! This Tag Title tournament is white hot!
Gore: White hot? What, you’re racist now?
Buzz: What are you talking about?
Gore: YOU know… you racist bastard.
Buzz: Uh… whatever. Folks, don’t go anywhere. Stay tuned for more great BWF action here on Mayhem!