ATTENTION INVESTORS:

Landmark developments are now taking
place in the timeshare community.

Don't miss out on being the first to own a
"MOBIL TIMESHARE"

Yes you read that correctly.
What you are about to see will BLOW YOU AWAY!!!

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".....we are very proud of the strides we are taking."
".....a vacation just isn't a vacation any more"

The following are just 3 examples of our exciting new line of  Timeshares....

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"DELUXE"

AMENITIES INCLUDE....

Reconditioned Brake Linings
Epoxy Repaired Windshield
Screened In Porch (or as we like to call it..."Veranda")
TV Antenna
Spark Arestor on Chimney Stack
New and Improved Foot Pump on Toilet Flusher (no more leaks)
State of the Art Adhesive on Retreads
Handicap Accessible Sign (actual accessibility yet to be achieved)
Much Much More!!!!!!

***SPECIAL OFFER***
If purchased during the month of October, buyers get to chose from one of the following free gifts

A free hound dog. (mixed breed)

 A two pack of Jiffy Pop (regular flavor)

WOW!!
 

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"Secluded Sanctuary"

AMENITIES INCLUDE:
Private setting
Spectacular views
Luxurious surroundings
Utilities within a days hike
A tree for a shady picnic
Wonderful artifact hunting for the kids (careful of the broken glass)
Unlimited reloadable shot gun shells
 

***SPECIAL OFFER***

If purchased during the month of October, buyers get to choose from TWO of the following free gifts

Metal detector with head phones
Gun Rack
Concrete blocks (for keeping your car from touching your lawn)
Jack Daniel's T-shirt (cut off at belly button)
12 foot roll of real imitation velvet
1978 Olds. Cutlass front fender
Cut off levis (with that cool fringe stuff)
Black light
Cool antenna for the top of your TV (the one that looks like a satellite dish)

WOW!!

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"Family Affordable"

AMENITIES INCLUDE:
Large Foam Thumb for Getting From One Place to Another (hitchin' a ride)
Spontaneous Location Changes
Easy Re-Configuration
Simple Construction
Absorbent (for the pee-pee when you been drinkin' too much)
Masking Tape Included for Security When You Are Away.
 

***SPECIAL OFFER***

If purchased during the month of October, buyers get to chose TWO of the following free gifts

A 55 Gallon Drum
A Personalized shopping cart
Flint
A 3 pack of socks
One sleeve of Keebler Crackers

How could you ever decide??

WOW!!

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TESTIMONIALS

(not necessarily the actual quotes)

"I used the Deluxe model and partied on the lake in Arkasas.....would ya just look at my tan"
 
 

"I always wondered why I was paying those huge monthly payments. Now I know why.
What could have been better than having the Family Affordable in my cousin
Billy Jim (bo) Bob's side yard for a week"

"Take a look at how refreshed you can look when you get back from your own 'Mobil Timeshare' Vacation!"
 
 

"I felt like a princess, when my cousin/husband picked me up in the Deluxe and took
me to the county fair. How I ended up winning 3rd in the Porky Pig look alike contest, I'll never know"
 
 

"My bachelorette party was a success, the outrageous down payment
and the never ending monthly payments finally paid off."
"Guess which one is me...."

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Are you going to miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime?
Run (don't walk) to your nearest timeshare dealer.

Your timeshare sales person will probably be impersonating
as some other type of business. We still haven't figured out
why, if timeshares are so great, how come it is that
selling them entails tricking you into a lame ass sales pitch??

Oh well.....nevertheless get out your wallet, dip into the kids college fund,
and buy that timeshare. Don't bother asking yourself why there are so many
people trying to sell their timeshares for pennies on the dollar. Just buy at full
price from the guy on the corner that tricks you into his office by offering you "free golf"