hello, welcome to laugh-o-rama!!! whoopie! yeah well, there's some funny stuff here, some stuff is just stupid. things are being added anytime i can, so check back.
Funny Junk by Jeff, 25 Fun Things To Do In A Car
1- Pick pedestrians up off of the street and then book it to Mexico!
2- Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.
3- At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. Then, without warning, get out of your car and laugh at them.
4- Two words: Chicken suit.
5- Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
6- Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
7- Stop at the green lights.
8- Go at the red ones.
9- Pass cars, and then drive very slowly.
10- Honk frequently without motivation.
11- Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
12- Let pedestrians know who's boss.
13- Lob burning things at smokers who throw their butts out the window.
14- While stopped at a light, pee out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
15- Paint your car with occult symbols.
16- Keep at least five cats in the car.
17- Stop and pray to road kill.
18- Throw Spam.
19- Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and look at the other cars. Laugh hysterically at them.
20- Have your passenger moon passing police officers.
21- Blow kisses at truck drivers.
22- Throw more Spam.
23- With sunglasses on, park and face the street, aim a blow-dryer at passing cars and see how many slow down.
24- See if you can drive with your teeth.
25- Get out of your car and attempt to rob a person in another car, when they give up their money, laugh and say “Just joking.” and quickly drive away.
>>>LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK
>> >>> >>> >>>
>>1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT. >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>13. WHLE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER >>>MOUSE >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER >>> >>> >>> >>>
>>21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE! >>> ---
a thank you.
i got this one in the e-mail.
WARNING THIS EMAIL CONTAINS SOME VERY FUNNY RHYMES ABOUT SEX!!!!

SEX IS A TEMPTATION
CAUSED BY A SENSATION
WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS DICTATION
IN A WOMANS VENTILATION
DO YOU GET MY CONVERSATION?
OR DO YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION?
SKY IS BLUE
WATER IS WET
I'LL MAKE YOU CUM
I'LL MAKE YOU SWEAT
PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY
MOVIN UP AND DOWN
SLOWLY BUT FIRMLY
WE WILL MOVE THE GROUND
SEX IS EVIL
SEX IS A GAME
ONE NIGHT OF PASSION
NINE MONTHS OF PAIN
BABYS A BASTARD
FATHERS A GIT
ALL BECAUSE
THE FUCKING CONDOM SPLIT!
SEX IS LIKE MATH
YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES
ADD THE BED
DIVIDE THE LEGS
THEN MULTIPLY!!!!!!!
ROSES ARE RED
GRASS IS GREEN
OPEN YOUR LEGS
AND I'LL FILL
YOU WITH CREAM
HICKORY DICKORY DOC
DIS BITCH WAS SUCKING ME COCK
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO
ME DUMPED ME GOO
AND DUMPED HER AT DA
END OF THE BLOCK
IN IT!!!
SEX IS GOOD
SEX IS FINE
DOGGY STYLE
OR 69
JUST FOR FUN
OR GETTING PAID
EVERYONE LIKES
GETTING LAID > > > > Facts Of Life > >
> 1) Cheerleaders are dancers, gone retarded. (Bring It On) > >
> 2) Lysol kills 99.9 % of germs > >
> 3) Never trust a guy who shoots himself in the hand with a beebee gun as an > > "EXPERIMENT". > >
> 4) When you are looking for something that you think is hard to find, you > > are usually walking right past it. > >
> 5) Never say, "It can't get any worse!" (cause it will... IT WILL) > >
> 6) People get annoyed when you say things twice in a row. > >
> 7) People get annoyed when you say things twice in a row. > >
> 8) Fuzzy pink bunnies go hop-hop! > >
> 9) Frosted Flakes, "They're GRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!" > >
> 10) Never forget to put an apostrophe in "he'll". > >
> 11) Never eat prunes, no matter WHAT your grandma tells you! > >
> 12) No one can say no to Honey Nut Cheerios! > >
> 13) The only reason the "popular" people sit by you on the bus is because > > there friends haven't arrived yet. > >
> 14) You are the weakest link. Goodbye. > >
> 15) Never name your goldfish- they'll die. > >
> 16) If you get stuck in a seat, it hurts. > >
> 17) Don't tease the elephants. > >
> 18) When wearing a long necklace, don't lean over to flush. > >
> 19) Don't spit into the wind. > >
> 20) Everyone needs a hug once a day. > >
> 21) If you mix cheese and corn together it makes CHEESE CORN! > >
> 22) Cheese and corn don't mix. > >
> 23) Permanent marker isn't really permanent. > >
> 24) Never eat Shredded Wheat. > >
> 25) Brennan's armpits are surprisingly fresh. > >
> 26) Drinking and driving doesn't end up with pretty consequences. > >
> 27) Never tell your friends about embarassing childhood experiences. > >
> 28) Never put rocks in your mouth. > >
> 29) Ask what kind of beef jerky it is before you eat it...it just might be > > the dog kind. > >
> 30) Never eat a beef and bean burrito before a family gathering. > >
> 31) Think before you flush. > >
> 32) Never eat unidentified objects. > >
> 33) Ok, I admit it! I let the dogs out! > >
> 34) Nobody gets exactly what they want, unless they're > > Britney Spears! > >
> 35) There is no wrong way to eat a Reese's! > > > >
> 36) Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? > >
> 37) Isn't it pancakes?!? > >
> 38) cut your throat and keep on walking.... > >
> 39) Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, Fuck It. > > >
40) if yOu ARe sIcK dOn'T dRiNk NyQuiL dUrInG tHa DaY .. > > >
41) beef, its whats for dinner >
42) never wear tommy when you eat >
43)It is better to be pissed off than pissed on...(Guess Who) > > > > > > I got this one on another e mail...its so sweet.
GET SICK OF RECEIVING ALL THE "CUTESY" FRIENDSHIP CRAP, READ ON..........
Dear Fucker,
You are my fuckin` friend,
And I hope you fucking know that`s true.
No matter what the fuck happens,
I will stand the fuck by you,
I will be fuckin` there for you,
Whenever the fuck you need me.
To lend you a fuckin` hand,
To do a fuckin` good deed.
So fuckin` just call on me,
Whatever the fuck you need.
And I`ll fuckin` always be there,
Cause I give a fuck.
Forward this promise to all your fuckin` friends to show your fuckin` friendship and watch who sends it the fuck back to you...... And fuck you if you don`t send it back!:)
here's another for the record books!!!
19 things to do in a bathroom stall
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh NO!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Dang, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew and spray it under your neighbors stall while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Dang, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Strum a well known song on your butt cheeks over and over again.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down a "Cross-Dressers Anonymous "newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say,"Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".
Nice Lesson in Chinese
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (READ OUT LOUD)!
> >1. That's not right.........Sum Ting Wong
>2. Are you harboring a fugitive?,,,,,,,,,,,,.Hu Yu Hai Ding
>3. See me ASAP.......................Kum Hia Nao
>4. Stupid Man.........................Dum Gai
>5. Small Horse..................Tai Ni Po Ni
>6. Did you go to the beach?....Wai Yu So Tan
>7. I bumped into a coffee table....Ai Bang Mai Ni
>8. I think you need a face lift.....Chin Tu Fat
>9. It's very dark in here......Wao So Dim
>10. I thought you were on a diet....Wai Yu Mun Ching
>11. This is a tow away zone.....No Pah King
>12. Out meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao?
>13. Staying out of sight.....Lei Ying Lo
>14. He's cleaning his automobile....Wa Shing Ka
>15. Your body odor is offensive.......Yu Stin Ki Pu