|| Roleplay #: 1 ||
|| Record: 00 - 00 - 00 ||
|| Next Match: William Regal vs. The Big Show ||
|| WWF Achievements:|| None Yet As Regal ; Hardcore Title As Hulk Hogan;
|| Learnt Some Manners: The Big Show?; None Yet; Coming Soon ||


Just as Hulk Hogan decided that it was time to draw his WWF career to a close… the WWF signed a new superstar, a man that would be Hogan’s replacement for the match with The Big Show, a man that could educate the American people in dignity, respect and manners… a man that could prove that his own country is the best. William Regal has arrived in the WWF and he’s come to make America a better place. The Englishman has moved to the WWF to begin a wrestling career… but this man cannot tolerate the American life… the American people… he HATES America! And at his side is royalty… The Duchess Of Queensbury. She has always dreamt of travelling the world and seeing the new world in America… and William Regal has taken it upon himself to look after this lady. But William Regal’s first match in the WWF will be extremely tough… as he goes up against the seven-foot tall… 500 pound Big Show. Will The Big Show be too much for Regal to handle? Or can Regal teach The Big Show some manners? One thing can be sure, William Regal will be looking for once thing… VICTORY!


The scene opens in England… we are inside a huge room, yes it’s pointlessly big… around the outside, there are just curtains and a few cupboards… in the centre, there is nothing but open space but at the far end, there’s a throne and sat right in the middle of it, there’s the Duchess of Queensbury… and in front of her, there’s a 1 metre wide strip of re carpet. Kneeling before her on the red carpet, is the much more familiar figure of William Regal…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Is there anything you require ma’am? I am at your disposal, if you so need it…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Is it 3pm yet William?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I’m afraid not, it is still 10 minutes to 3 ma’am…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Then, I shall require my tea and crumpets precisely on the hour… I am thirsty already but I will wait until the correct time for my drink…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] As you wish your highness… I will see to it right away.

William Regal stands up and turns on his heel, he then walks down the red carpet with his nose held in the air, walking in exactly the correct way… As he turns the corner, he drops the pretence and walks as he normally does. He slams through the kitchen door… and 2 servants are slaving away and making sandwiches.

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Ok, chaps… the duchess requires her tea at exactly 3pm… so pop the kettle on now and make sure it is brewed for precisely 3 minutes, just as the duchess likes it. And don’t squeeze those tea bags… she’ll know that you’ve done it…

[ ' Servant 1 ' Charles ] Can’t you do it yourself you lazy git?

[ ' Servant 2 ' Wilfred ] Yeah, can’t you see we’ve got enough on our plate already?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] No, you listen to me you pair of BLOODY TOE RAGS… How about you give me a little respect for once? You’re as bad as those bloody Americans, I tell you. No manners at all… were you brought up in a pigsty?

Regal shakes his head in utter shame and annoyance… he wipes his hand through his hair in despair and then, he looks at them…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I should be at the Duchess’ side, keeping her company… and entertaining her. And you two should just get on with your bloody jobs… and make the Duchess’ tea… and PRONTO!

William Regal then begins to walk out of the door and he comes back laughing…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I almost bloody forgot…haha. That would have been rather silly of me. The duchess requires her 2 crumpets… make sure they are nicely toasted for her. You know how she can’t stand her crumpets burnt… it doesn’t go well with her digestion. Now, hurry up chaps, it’s almost 3 already.

[ ' Servant 1 ' Charles ] Alright, alright…we’ll get it done

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] That’s the spirit gentlemen…

[ ' Servant 2 ' Wilfred ] We’ll have it ready in a jiffy…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Super.

William Regal heads out of the kitchen and turns back into the great hall, as soon as he turns the corner, he begins walking like a pompous ass again, just to impress the duchess that he is spending time with… he makes his way back to the throne, he bows before the Duchess and drops to 1 knee again.

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Your tea and crumpets are on their way Duchess…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] That’s wonderful William… thank you.

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] It’s my pleasure your highness…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Well William, it seems our excursion to the new world is almost upon us… are you excited about it?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I am absolutely infatuated with the idea… It should be a marvellous adventure ma’am.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Marvellous. It sounds like you are quite possibly as excited as me. It will be my first time outside The United Kingdom…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I warn you now your Highness… I wouldn’t expect those foul-mouthed, dirty Americans to treat you with any respect at all. They are impolite, arrogant people… who think it’s acceptable to swear in public…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] You mean, it is acceptable to BLASPHEME?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Yes, your highness… you will have to close your ears to such filthy language.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Oh, I shall William… And to think they came from BRITISH DESCENDENCE! But maybe, you can teach them that it is not acceptable under any circumstances… to blaspheme William!

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I will wash their mouths out with soap if needs be ma’am…

At that point, the servants enter the room, 1 behind each other… the first is carrying a silver kettle with 2 cups and saucers on a silver tray. The second servant is carrying 2 silver plates with 2 crumpets on each on a silver tray. William Regal gets off his knees and moves to the side of The Duchess Of Queensbury, as the servants bring her the afternoon tea.

[ ' Servant 1 ' Charles ] Your tea ma’am…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Thank you Charles…

The servant slowly pours the perfectly brewed tea into the glass of The Duchess, he then adds a small amount of milk and slowly passes the cup and saucer to her. She smells it, then takes a very elegant sip out of it…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Thank you Charles…

[ ' Servant 1 ' Charles ] My pleasure…

The servant then prepares Regal’s tea, as the other servant gives the crumpets to the Duchess…

[ ' Servant 2 ' Wilfred ] There you go… take it, it’s burning my hands. Take it.

SHOCK! The faces of William Regal and The Duchess are picture perfect… both cannot believe how the second servant just spoke to her…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] How dare you to speak to this wonder lady like that? YOU LITTLE SOD!

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] WILLIAM!

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Excuse my French ma’am… but IT’S AN ABSOLUTE OUTRAGE! He should talk to you with some dignity… and respect! THIS LADY IS PRACTICALLY ROYALTY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

[ ' Servant 2 ' Wilfred ] I’m sorry…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] YOU’RE SORRY? Is that all you can say is… YOU’RE SORRY? It’s not BLOODY good enough! You should be getting down on your hand and knees young man… and begging for The Duchess’ forgiveness. Now, get out of The Duchess’ presence… both of you… you’re insolence is not required here any more!

Both servants turn on their heels and leave the room, as fast as they can possibly walk…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Is everything satisfactory ma’am?

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Yes, my tea and crumpets are exquisite William… but about your first match in this place you said you’re going to be wrestling…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] You mean, the WWF your highness…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Yes, that’s precisely what I meant… I was wondering if you have a photo of the man, they call The Big Show… I want to see what your opponent looks like…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Oh but ma’am… I couldn’t possibly show you a picture of that awful creature… it would ruin your afternoon tea.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Are you refusing to show me the picture William?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Of course not your Highness… I just warn you that The Big Show is one of the most vulgar-looking men that you will ever set your eyes upon.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Will you just show me the photo please?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] As you wish ma’am…

William Regal dips into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a photo of The Big Show… the Duchess puts on a pair of glasses at the end of her nose and looks down at the photo.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] CRIKEY! He’s an awfully plump chap, isn’t he William?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Plump?! Ma’am, The Big Show weighs 500 pounds… this man is not plump. He’s a vile, horrible, smelly, overweight, rotten piece of garbage… that is quite frankly, a disgrace to the industry I work in… It’s people like The Big Show that make a mockery of what I call a living.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] He can’t help being shaped like he is… he’s just big boned.

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] BIG BONED?! He might as well be a dinosaur for his size… or for what he eats… I’ve never seen a man eat so much food in 1 sitting, in all my life.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] I suspect he just gets more hungry than the rest of us…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] He doesn’t eat because he’s hungry… he eats because he’s a filthy animal.

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Oh, that’s preposterous William…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] It’s not duchess… but I will tell you what annoys me more about The Big Show… it’s not the fact that he eats like 50 horses… but the way he eats…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] The way he eats? What do you mean, William?

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I mean, the fact that he has absolutely no table manners at all!!!

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Really?!

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] The Big Show believes that it is good etiquette… to lick every last drop of barbecue sauce off his plate…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Dear Lord, how disgusting?!

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I remember once ma’am, I interrupted him when he was eating a pie… and he spoke to me… WITH HIS MOUTH FULL! I could see the chewed up food in his mouth… I’ve never seen something so undignified in all MY LIFE!

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] You’ve put me right off my tea William…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] I warned you ma’am… and another thing The Big Show did once when he was eating… he ate with his ELBOWS ON THE TABLE!

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] This man is one of the most filthy rotten beasts I’ve ever heard spoken of… that’s simply not acceptable in this country!

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] If I had my wish, he’d be locked away in some shed on a farm with the rest of the pigs. And I'd do it, before you could say ‘god save the queen’…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Well, you make sure you show him some manners William…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Oh, I will teach him some manners Duchess… he will learn to have some decorum… that oaf will learn some dignity and respect, even if I have to beat it into him. Quite frankly, his actions are intolerable and it’s about time somebody put a stop to them… that rapscallion will wish he’d never offended William Regal. Because soon, he will feel the power of the punch…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] Oh but William, you will beat him… the ENGLISH way???

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] Of course your highness… I will be a gentleman at all times!

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] To victory… and to our adventure William…

The Duchess raises her cup of tea to William Regal…

[ ' English Elegance ' William Regal ] And to England your highness…

[ ' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury ] To England William!

William Regal raises his cup of tea with the Duchess and they gently hit them together, to signal a unity of 2 people… but will the adventure for The Duchess Of Queensbury and William regal be a success? Can they conquer America? Will they be able to cope with the American way of life? Will they be able to tolerate the disgusting manners of some people? And more importantly, will William Regal be able to defeat the monster that is The Big Show?