Foreword

William Regal entered the Elimination Chamber at #3, straight after the Elimination of Booker T by Lance Storm. Regal took out Lance Storm, Shawn Michaels and Triple H… the last man in the ring was Rob Van Dam. William Regal pinned Rob Van Dam but he was not declared the winner due to the mere technicality that Van Dam’s arm was over Regal as well. The show went off the air after Regal went berserk and took out Van Dam but who won the match?! WHO IS THE NSA WORLD CHAMPION?! Is it Van Dam or is William Regal? We will find out this week who won and who didn’t… We will also Regal return to action on this coming Rage, only just a few days after the pure hell he endured inside the Elimination Chamber. His opponent… the new Television Champion BROCK… LESNAR! This may be Regal’s toughest challenge to his undefeated streak yet… but one man will lose their undefeated status. One man will walk out the victor and one the loser! Regal is bound to be out to prove a few points after being screwed over in the main-event at Under the Influence. Can Regal continue the undefeated streak? Can Regal defeat Brock Lesnar? And the more pressing question… will Regal be crowned the ‘rightful’ nSa World Champion?!


Scene

The scene opens at the desk of William Regal, who is about to write a letter. He has his parchment in front of him, he also has a quill with ink next to him and he looks anxious to begin the letter. The Duchess of Queensbury slows walks into the room and immediately distracts Regal from his business.

The Duchess Of Queensbury: William, what are you doing at the moment?

William Regal: I AM WRITING A BLOODY LETTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM BLOODY DOING?! DOING THE FLIPPING LAMBADA?!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: WILLIAM! Is that any way to speak to speak to The Duchess of Queensbury?! I am practically royalty for crying out loud!

William Regal: I am sorry your Majesty!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: I am absolutely disgusted by your disgraceful attitude towards me!

William Regal: Your Highness, I am sorry but to be quite frank, I AM BLOODY INCENSED! OUTRAGED! I AM GOING TO LOSE MY BLOODY RAG ANY MINUTE!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Calm down at once…

William Regal: I am trying to be calm… It is hard to keep your cool after my bloody World Championship was stolen from right underneath my nose! I won the Elimination Chamber… I won the nSa World Championship… I am the bloody World Champion!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Well, technically you are not…

William Regal: DON’T YOU BLOODY ‘TECHNICALLY’ ME! I AM THE WORLD CHAMPION… END OF CONVERSATION!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Would it not be more constructive to do something about it?

William Regal: And what do you have to suggest ma’am?

The Duchess Of Queensbury: You could prepare for your match with Brock Lesnar!

William Regal: PREPARE! YOU WANT ME TO BLOODY PREPARE FOR THAT OVERGROWN BABY… I ONLY HAVE TO TAKE HIS BLOODY SAFETY PIN OUT OF HIS NAPPY AND HE WILL GO HOME CRYING TO HIS BLOODY MOTHER!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: A little bit of training would do no harm…

William Regal: No, this is what I am going to do your Highness… I am going to write a pretty bloody stern letter to Vince McMahon… he is going to give me my bloody title on Rage and I will make him know how outraged I was not crowned champion in the first bloody place!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Okay William… I will leave you to write this in peace.

Regal picks up his quill, dips it into the parchment and begins writing the letter to Vince McMahon.

Dear Mr McMahon,

I am quite honestly outraged by the fact that I have not been crowned the nSa World Champion yet. It is quite clear to me and a lot of unbiased English folk that I am the true champion and I have not been duly given my title because of serious American ignorance to my victory. This saga has been quite disrespectful to my performances in nSa and to the integrity and honour I have brought to the federation. I am more than prepared to put an end to this ridiculous affair by means of crowning me champion on Rage. However, any such failure to do this and I will be forced to take methods into my own hands to take what is rightfully mine.

It has also come to my attention that I have been booked in a match with that brainless, moronic chimp Brock Lesnar. I have just recently been through the Elimination Chamber and you have placed another obstacle in my path once again. I do not mind as I am a fighting World Champion and I appreciate the fact that I am in the main-event. I do not think I should be belittled by being booked in insignificant matches any more. I have too much pride and honour to be disgraced like that.

Please consider what I have written in this letter, I am still seething by the fact that I have not been given my World Title belt but I am relying on you to rectify this outrageous situation.

Yours sincerely,

William Regal Esq.

Regal folds his letter neatly and places it inside an envelope, he then seals it with the Duchess’ quality seal and puts a stamp on it. Regal places it on the desk in front of him, as The Duchess of Queensbury re-enters the room.

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Do you fancy a spot of lunch William?

William Regal: Sounds like a marvellous idea… it might take my mind off this wretched nSa World Championship SCANDAL! I cannot believe that horrible drug-using toerag stopped me from having my title… Rob Van Dam is nothing but an extremely lucky little sod and mark my words, he will regret the day he was born when I get my bloody hands on him.

The Duchess Of Queensbury: What do you fancy to eat William?

William Regal: I know what Brock Lesnar’s going to get eat… A BLOODY KNUCKLE SANDWICH! I expect that pathetic ape will burst into tears after I give him a right good clobbering!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: William, can we please focus on the food? I am absolutely starving and I would like to order my food at once!

William Regal: I quite fancy a traditional ENGLISH roast dinner…

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Excellent. Then, that is what we shall have… call them immediately William.

Regal grabs the phone and begins calling for room service… a French man answers the phone and Regal begins making his order.

Une French Chef: Bonjour Monsieur Ray-gal, how may I help yooo?

William Regal: I would like a lovely Sunday Roast Dinner old chap… We would like roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, carrots and do not forget the gravy, whatever you do!

Une French Chef: Err, Monsieur Regal… it is not possible to do this, I am very sorry… We are only offering ‘Duck A L’Orange’ today, I am afraid mon amis!

William Regal: DUCK A BLOODY ORANGE! WE DO NOT BLOODY WANT YOUR FILTHY FRENCH FOOD… WE WANT AN ENGLISH SUNDAY LUNCH! Is that too much to ask you horrible little man?

Une French Chef: : I’m err-fraid, I cannot help you sir…

William Regal: Bloody frogs! Why are all the nations apart from England so bloody incompetent!?

The Duchess Of Queensbury: I am not in the mood for duck…

William Regal: I’ll tell you what I am in the mood for… I am in the mood for a bloody good fight! That rapscallion Brock Lesnar does not know what he is in for… he is going to get a bloody angry Englishman… You saw what I did to that vile little drug-user Rob Van Dam… I smashed him to bloody pieces… I am not just going to knock Brock’s lights out, I am going to give him the biggest beating of his horrible waste of an existence. The Next Big Thing… THE NEXT BLOODY BIG THING… I will show him what for, I will show him the meaning of what respect and dignity is… He walks around with that vulgar little man Paul Heyman swearing and blaspheming like there’s no bloody tomorrow… I will give him a lesson in manners!

The Duchess Of Queensbury: Can we go and get some food?!

William Regal: I suppose so… Maybe a good meal will calm my rage.

The Duchess Of Queensbury: I hope so William… I think you are starting to lose the plot.

The scene fades to static with Regal about to explode at The Duchess of Queensbury. Regal has gone absolutely loopy… he thinks he should be holding the World Title right now but he is still titleless. Regal is on a path of rage and unfortunately for Brock Lesnar, he’s stepped in his way. Will the TV Champion rub Regal’s nose in it and take away his undefeated streak or will the streak go on? Will Regal be given the World Title he deserves on Rage or will he be forced to wait and go even more mental than he is at the moment?