The scene opens inside the lounge of a posh hotel room. William Regal is sitting on a large but comfortable armchair, The Duchess is on something similar but it is more upright and it is carved intricately so that it looks like she is sitting on a throne… she is practically royalty though! In front of them is a large television screen and next to that is a large roasting fire being stoked by some random Canadian servant. The crackling fire is drowned out by the sound of the television and on the television is The Queen. William Regal and The Duchess of Queensbury did not return home for Christmas and because of this, they were unable to see The Queen’s speech. However, a friend of The Duchess’ family has posted the video over to her so that she would be able to watch it. The last bit of The Queen’s speech is on and the room is in deadly silence, as The Duchess and Regal listen attentively, as if missing a word of the Queen’s speech would ruin their lives forever.
Our country has had such a successful year in 2003… Our tremendous rugby team performed with great courage and pride in Australia and I congratulate them greatly on their World Cup victory. I would also like to commend our armed forces for their hard work and bravery in Iraq. Their contribution has been of immense importance to regaining world harmony during a difficult global period. I would also like to comment upon the death of Richard Harris in this year gone by; his death has brought great sadness upon our family and our friends, as he was such a talented and kind human-being. My only hope for next year is that our country is as successful and prosperous as it has been this year. I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Absolutely marvellous… absolutely bloody marvellous! Our Queen is a marker for us all… She is perfection personified. I would love to walk in her footsteps, rather than just bask in her glory!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: You’re right William, The Queen is unique… and the most important lady in the modern world. But William, you can walk in her footsteps… you can be just as unique as she is!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: I don’t think that shall be possible ma’am...
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Anything is possible…
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Quite. However, I still to do not visualise the relevance between myself and our great monarch!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: I am merely suggesting that you can be as great and unique as she is, inside the wrestling world!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: I still do not quite comprehend what you are implying your Highness.
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: I believe that you can be the figurehead of the wrestling world… you can lead the nSa into the future, as their World Champion… In the same way our Queen leads our country and is our figurehead. You will be the King of the nSa!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: The King of the nSa? That has a certain chime to it, don’t you think?
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: It does William, it does…
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Does that mean I will be superior to you your majesty?
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: One step at a time William… one step at a time!
William Regal ponders for a second how to respond to the Duchess’ power and thinks of something interesting to say to switch the conversation away from her power over him.
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Duchess, do you think the World Championship is a realistic possibility for me? I honestly believe that I am going to be champion come Under The Influence but I do not want to be under some sort of misconception.
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: William, you shall be champion! There is no misconception… you are the most talented wrestler to ever set foot in this country… you are the best English wrestler that our great country has to offer… and you are undefeated in this disgraceful country and your winning streak shall continue until you are crowned the World Champion!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Thank you ma’am… I had believed that for quite some while. I merely wanted to hear that from someone else but myself.
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Your victory is certain William… it shall happen, I have no qualms about it.
' English Elegance ' William Regal: And neither do I…
William Regal stops the video tape and the television switches onto the normal channel… Steven Richards is on the screen with Victoria. Richards is treating her like a Queen, Regal’s face turns to absolute horror and disgust.
' English Elegance ' William Regal: HOW DARE HE INSULT THE NAME OF OUR GREAT QUEEN? COMPARING THAT HARLOT TO OUR QUEEN IS A FLIPPING INSULT!!!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: I have never heard such naivety and rudeness!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: RUDENESS! THIS IS NOT BLOODY RUDENESS… THIS IS A DAMN OUTRAGE… A DAMN DISGRACEFUL BLOODY OUTRAGE! I have a good mind to go and find this ignorant, obnoxious vagabond and KNOCK HIS BLOODY LIGHTS OUT!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: William! CALM DOWN AT ONCE!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: I cannot bear another second of this tireless monstrosity…
Regal turns the television… in fact, he presses the button so hard that it falls out of the TV. The TV snaps off and the only thing that can be heard in the room is the sound of Regal’s bellowing angry voice!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: I AM DISGUSTED! ABSOLUTELY BLOODY DISGUSTED… THAT WAS POSITIVELY HORRIBLE!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: You’re right William but…
' English Elegance ' William Regal: I’m going to find that vile little sod and show him the true meaning of a RIGHT ROYAL BEATING!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Will… you… listen to me?
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Young chap… excuse me lad, come over here!
The kid walks over to him and he looks at him inquisitively… Regal is in absolute strop by now and is looking to tear the head off the nearest breathing person.
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Get me the Thomson Directory! I want to give this Steven Richards a serious talking to… he’ll never have felt a barrage of words quite like I’m going to give to him!
' Helpless ' Young Servant: What’s a Thompson Directory?
' English Elegance ' William Regal: THE BLOODY PHONE BOOK YOU INSOLENT SOD!
' Helpless ' Young Servant: Ya mean, the Yellow Pages?
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Yellow BLOODY Pages… is that the only thing you have?! We have that useful artefact back home and I WOULD NOT USE IT AS BLOODY TOILET PAPER!
The boy just stands there looking very frightened, as Regal’s temper is near explosion. The kid backs off and gets the Yellow Pages which is on a stand very close by. The boy brings over the cordless phone and Yellow Pages, then hands them to Regal, who is pacing back and forward. He dials the number and the phone is answered…
' Queen ' Victoria: Hello… Queen Victoria speaking!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: QUEEN BLOODY VICTORIA!!! WHO THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU ROTTEN WOMAN!? YOU ARE NOT QUEEN VICTORIA… YOU ARE NOT A QUEEN… YOU ARE A MERE EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING… AN INSULT TO THIS WORLD I WALK UPON… AND HOW DARE YOU TAKE OUR QUEEN’S NAME IN VAIN! I HAVE NOT BEEN INSULTED SO MUCH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I BLOODY TELL YOU!
The Duchess stands up to take the phone off Regal, who looks like he is going to break the phone in two, as his blood continues to boil.
' Queen ' Victoria: Have you got the wrong number?
' English Elegance ' William Regal: The wrong flipping number?! This is the right bloody number you miserable little TART! You’re lucky I don’t come over there and give you a right talking to face-to-face!
Victoria hangs up, clearly not having a clue about anything William Regal has just ranted about… Regal’s eyes bulge as he hears the sound of the empty dialling tone.
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Pass me my quill and paper at once!
The boy dashes off to get them, as Regal goes and sits at the desk.
' English Elegance ' William Regal: I’m going to write a pretty nasty letter to Steven Richards… a letter he’ll never bloody forget mark my words! HURRY UP BOY!
The boy dashes over, he places the pot of ink and quill down, then a clean, crisp piece of white paper in front of Regal.
Dear Steven Richards,
It has come to my attention that you are an ignorant little git that is deluded and misconceived in all manner of senses. For one, you believe that your little slut Victoria is a Queen, when she is indeed not! I might add that you are also misled about your chances of becoming World Champion because they shall be ended by yours truly come Rage this Monday night. I wish to remind you that all your past misdemeanours have not been forgotten and you shall receive your due comeuppance on this coming show. Your disgraceful lack of manners and your insulting actions directed against our great Queen have incensed me and you shall receive a well-earned lesson in the meaning of respect on this coming show. Mark my words, you will regret your past actions and you will regret the day you ever crossed me!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: That will show Steven Richards… I’ve given him a pretty stern talking to if you ask me.
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: But remember William, you will not confine your actions just to Steven Richards…
' English Elegance ' William Regal: Of course not your Highness, the bloody lot of them will feel ‘The Power Of the Punch’! Nothing shall end my undefeated streak… nothing will stop me on my road to the World Championship… and NOTHING will stop me winning this Battle Royal on Rage!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: And who would be more appropriate to win a Battle Royal than the most dignified and respected man in the wrestling industry? William REGAL!
' English Elegance ' William Regal: There is no-one more appropriate than I. You are correct Duchess! I shall be King of the nSa this Monday night. But one must not forget that there is only 1 Queen… and I shall dedicate this victory to her greatness and our great country!
' The Duchess ' Of Queensbury: God save the Queen!
William Regal may have been insulted by the actions of Steven Richards but his mind is set on 1 thing and that’s outright victory. Regal wants that World Championship and according to him, his success is imminent. Can Regal prove to the world that he is the best out there or will this be the first blip on his illustrious career? William Regal is this close to gold… Surely, he will make no mistake now!