' E n g l i s h - E l e g a n c e '

nSa Roleplay Number: 001 
Opponent(s): Kurt Angle 
nSa Record : Victories: 000 Draws: 000 Defeats: 000
Regal Record : Victories: 005 Draws: 000 Defeats: 000

Career Regal Achievements: Undefeated ; WWF Recruit Of The Week 1(x)

Defeated List: nSa: None yet; CWF: The Messiah (1x); The Undertaker (1x); Lance Storm (1x); WWF: The Big Show (1x); Chris Benoit (1x)

New Skool All-Stars enters its second week and now, the biggest signing to date will arrive. The undefeated former CWF and WWF superstar William Regal has signed an nSa contract and he’s come for one thing… World Championship gold. So far no man has been able to stop the Englishman, no federation has found an opponent worthy enough to defeat ‘The English Elegance’. William Regal’s first opponent is none other than the ‘Olympic Gold Medallist’ Kurt Angle. This man may be the most difficult and challenging match William Regal has had to date. As well as being the most capable opponent Regal has been booked against, he is also the most hated in William Regal’s eyes. Kurt Angle is an American Hero and proud of his country. Kurt Angle stands for everything that America stands for. Kurt Angle stands for everything William regal despises. William Regal can’t wait to get his hands on Kurt Angle and teach this American some good manners. But will Kurt Angle prove why he won his gold medals or will William Regal give him the lesson he just can’t wait to hand out?


The scene opens in the conservatory of The Duchess Of Queensbury’s brand new mansion. The only items inside the room are 2 beautifully carved wooden chairs and a wooden coffee table. Sitting in 1 chair is the Duchess; sitting in the other chair in an elegant grey suit is none other than William Regal. The clock begins ringing, gong... gong… gong…. It’s 3pm.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: It’s 3pm already William… and I have not had my afternoon tea. You know how important punctuality is; I do not want to disrupt my digestion. You know how temperamental my pallet is.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Well, that’s exactly the kind of poor quality service you get from having American servants…

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Are you questioning my ability to choose able servants?

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Of course not ma’am… I am merely suggesting that these American riff-raff are quite inferior to what you have become accustomed to.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Quite.

One of the servants walks across the corridor in the main room outside of the conservatory, the loud thumping of his feet draws the attention of William Regal… Regal clearly has the late afternoon tea on his mind and takes his opportunity to grab the attention of the servant.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Excuse me young chap…Excuse me!

The servant ignores the call of William Regal and continues to walk away down the main room… William Regal’s eyes blink disjointedly in shock at the sheer rudeness of the servant. Regal jumps to his feet and goes after the boy.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Come right back here at once you incompetent ignoramus!

The servant turns round nonchalantly, he has his hands in his pockets and he is chewing gum…

' Young American ' Servant: Ya want somethin’, huh?

' English Elegance ' William Regal: DO I BLOODY WANT SOMETHING?! Want something! LOOK AT YOU! Dear Lord! HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU GET A JOB HERE

' Young American ' Servant: Huh?

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Spit that rotten gum out at once… take your grubby little hands out of your pockets and smarten your bloody act up you vile little sod

The servant swallows his gum and takes his hands out of his pockets… he stands up a little straight and William Regal seems to be a little more satisfied.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Now, The Duchess has expressed her wishes quite clearly and it’s 3pm and you have not carried out her orders.

' Young American ' Servant: We’re real busy, ya know?!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Will you speak English correctly for crying out loud?! The Duchess will have a fit if she hears you utter a nonsensical sentence like that! And I don’t care how bloody busy you are… you do what The Duchess says or I’ll teach you some bloody respect myself!

' Young American ' Servant: Alright…

Regal looks startled at the lackadaisical attitude of the servant, the servant walks over to the Duchess.

' Young American ' Servant: Can I get’cha anything your Highness?

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: It is ‘may’.

' Young American ' Servant: No, it’s January… we just celebrated New Years the other day.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: I know what month it is… But the word is ‘may’ not ‘can’.

' Young American ' Servant: May I get’cha anything ma’am?

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: It’s 3pm… I would like my afternoon drink as requested.

' Young American ' Servant: Ok.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: OK?! Have some decorum you uneducated American twit!

' Young American ' Servant: It’s on its way ma’am!

The servant walks off and Regal walks back into the centre of the room shaking his head, as if he has just seen something utterly shocking.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: I cannot stand these vulgar American imbeciles… They have no manners, no respect for their superiors… or might I add… royalty! If that boy was my son, I would be utterly embarrassed. My 5-year old son speaks better English than that foul-mouthed twerp!

The servant comes back, the drinks have already been prepared for The Duchess and William Regal. He brings them out on a tray and places them on the table in front of The Duchess.

' Young American ' Servant: Here is your milk ma’am…

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: And where is the rest of my drink?

' Young American ' Servant: The rest? Your glass of milk is there…

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Do I not have a pot of tea to go with it?

' Young American ' Servant: Tea? You wanted tea?

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Of course! You did not honestly expect me to drink milk on its own, did you?

' Young American ' Servant: Well yeah, we all kinda drink milk over here…

' English Elegance ' William Regal: All? Do you honestly expect The Duchess Of Queensbury to drink a “common person’s drink”?

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Get me my tea at once!

The servant disappears off to make The Duchess’ tea, Regal sits down in his chair and begins to speak to The Duchess.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: I can’t believe the naivety of that little toerag… You are an honourable, dignified lady. How could he possibly conceive you drinking such a vile substance without a teabag in it? Only a disgusting, vulgar human being could drink milk on its own. Take for example Duchess, Kurt Angle… the milk-drinking Olympic Gold Medallist… and may I add, my unfortunate opponent on this week’s Rage.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Very unfortunate!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: That pathetic little man doesn’t just drink milk on its own… but he even has the audacity to drink milk OUT OF A CARTON!

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: You cannot be serious William!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: I am deadly serious… Kurt Angle believes that to be good etiquette.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: That is the worst etiquette I have ever heard of!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Your highness, I used to have a lot of respect for Kurt Angle… he has achieved great success as a wrestler. He is an Olympic Gold Medallist… and he has won many World Championships. But I have come to realise that I shall no longer be able to give him any respect at all. His bad habits have disgusted me… and it is my duty to teach him some manners this week.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: You have my full support William… such habits must be stopped at once!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: That swine will get his comeuppance, mark my words! I shall beat every last drop of good etiquette out of his worthless American body. He will not blaspheme again, he will not drink milk out of a carton again and he will not be proud to be an American after I’ve finished with him.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: I do not understand William… how will that occur

' English Elegance ' William Regal: After I have beaten him into the ground… after I’ve wrenched his surgically repaired neck making him squeal in helpless agony… with the Regal Stretch of course… And after I have taken the victory from him… He will come to realise that there is only one superior nation on this planet and that is England!

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Too true William… Our Queen would be so proud of you!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: But I am just a mere servant in the shadow of her greatness.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: But you are no mere servant in comparison to Kurt Angle… You are superior to him William.

' English Elegance ' William Regal: I may not have achieved what he has achieved ma’am… I may not even be as technically gifted as Kurt Angle. But I know I can out-wrestle Kurt Angle… I know I can defeat Kurt Angle… and come Rage, I shall give that horrible little worm the education in manners that he so duly deserves.

The servant comes back in with a tray again… On the tray, he has the pot of tea and he also has 2 plates with something on them.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: What are those?

' Young American ' Servant: They’re cookies… I brought them for your snack.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Cookies? What an earth are cookies?

' English Elegance ' William Regal: They’re some horrific American creation… Do not take 1 your Highness, it will ruin your appetite.

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Should I not just try one William?

' English Elegance ' William Regal: Absolutely not! It would be internal suicide!

' Duchess ' Of Queensbury: Would it be possible to have my crumpets as I specifically asked?

' Young American ' Servant: Couldn’t ya just try the cookie? They’re real good!

' English Elegance ' William Regal: GET THE BLEEDING CRUMPETS YOU TIRELESS BUFFOON! It’s not that BLOODY difficult for crying out loud! BLOODY DISRESPECTFUL AMERICANS!

William Regal has reached boiling point… he has had an absolute gut full of this servant and Americans in general. Kurt Angle is an All-American Hero, has he picked the wrong time to face William Regal? The man is undefeated and can’t wait to defeat another American. Will Regal exact some revenge on the American nation? Will Kurt Angle be the next American to learn some manners from ‘The English Elegance’ himself?


Copyright MaloneRocks Entertainment 2003 ™.