TOP 10

im me to giv me ideas

• Hey, I guess what they say is right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back, don't you go dyin on me!
• i went to washington again, and i met the president, again, but the best part of it is that they give u all the food and drink u want for free, i must have had myself about 13 dr. peppers
• cuz fuck him, thats why
• No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION!
• Gimme the fucking keys, you fuckin cocksuckin motherfucker, aaahhhh!!"
• focker im not gunna tell u again jinks could not flush the toilet, hes a cat for christs sake!
• You're suspect.I don't know what your reputation is,but after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into it. Any conversations you want to have with me heretofore, you can have with my attourney. But until that day arrives,gentlemen,keep your ears to the grindstone.
• Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin' "send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute, little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink seven and sevens and play slalom with the icebergs and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea-life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive so he's got to walk to the job interviews which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue-plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. A beat. So what'd I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure I'll eliminate the middle man. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? Christ, I could be elected President.
• CHUCKIE Little Morgan's got a lot a scrap, dude. I'd rather fight a big kid, they never fight, everyone's scared of 'em. You know how many people try to whip Morgan's ass every week? Fuckin' kid won't back down. MORGAN What'd you say about me? CHUCKIE Shut the fuck up.
• Penis, Penis, Penis, Vagina, Vagina, Vagina