The Crew

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The Crew's Inside Jokes

Our Jokes of Today and Tomorrow

Follows Jon's Profile...

- Oine Voine Vacenstoine: As usual we were at the mall on a Friday. After the mall closed or a rent-a-cop told us to leave, we went outside. We started to play hackeysac, when I don't know why but Jon started signing and dancing to Hava Nagila (the Jewish song.) What you must understand this wasn't that funny but it was the kind of moment. I go "Imagine if we see Hitler in a plane yelling Oine voine vacenstoine." Followed by machine gun sounds.

- Tissues: Greg, Elton, and Jon were in the car with Greg's mom. So as they were talking Greg's mom said something completely unexpected and hilarious. "Well, Greg sits up in his room every night jerking off with a box of tissues." LOL. I don't know the exact words because I wasn't there but you get the point.

-Screwdriver incident: We were using light bulbs and batteries in Mrs. Dziob's class. There was also screw drivers that we were using. So we've all seen in movies, the guy holds up a knife to someone's throat and goes "I'll cut you.... I SWEAR!" So after I did this to Jon he does it to me, only Mrs. Dziob is watching! We immediately get sent to the hall. (Nothing abnormal bout that :) ) So we wait until class is over and Mrs. Dziob then talks to us. She gives us this really funny speech about robbing banks and getting shot. So in all, me and Jon get banned from Science labs for 3 weeks.

- L. Callias: Again, we were at the mall on a Friday. But in school couple of hours before we watched the Icabod Crane cartoon. So we walking around the mall and WAM! We saw a rent-a-cop that looked exactly like Icabod Crane from the movie. It was scary. He had long arms and legs and a big nose. So from then on we called him Icabod... we still didn't know his name. So maybe a week or two later we were at the mall and playing hackeysac down by Macy's when Icabod comes along. He threatens to take the hackeysac away if he sees it agian. We still don't know his name, by now were dieing to know. So another night at the mall we were sitting on a bench when Icabod comes along. He leans over and tells us to get up for loitering or something like that. Only this time we see the name tag. L. Callias. He also gave Mike V. a high-fiive.

- the Mole: As usual we were at the mall trying to get chicks. So we found a group and pursued. There were 3 girls which I'll describe later. After a while they finally called us with the number we gave them and they started to bitch and moan at us. So we went downstairs and sat a chess table. Then the group came down and sat near us. Who could resist?? Anyway, after a while we walked away and sat at a bench which is now legendary. Then they came up to us. #1: Playing with herself through her sweatshirt pocket. Short, chubby and pretty bad-looking. #2: Big Lips - lips that stretched across her whole face. Very ugly but even more scary. AND THE LEADER.... #3- THE MOLE - SHE HAD A MOLE THE SIZE OF CALIFORNIA ON HER FACE. IT WAS AS BIG AS A DIME!! We couldn't stop laughing at it. They were all making fun of us while they were standing if front of us. We started to make mole jokes like in Austin Powers. "Damn, I really need a moletrin... I mean motrin. "I love the mole... mall." "It's nice to mole you... meet you!" We went on and on. And soon had a flash movie made about it. You can watch by click here. LOL funniest thing ever. Shot outs to the mole crew ~ Jon, Elton, Mike S. and Mike V.

- "Which one? the fat one??" - "OH MI GAWD!" : We were at the mall and went into Sam Goody. These girls were right behind us. One was ok. The other was pretty ugly and the other wuz butt ugly! She was fat with a nose ring. So we ran away and saw them a couple times that night. So Jon and Elton were at the mall one night and they saw the girls again. I forgot why but they had our number and called them. So they talked and the girl (the decent one) was to Jon: "(someone's name) likes you." Jon is then like "Which one? the fat one??" I think that was a bad idea. The girl in the most girly kinda accent goes "OH MI GAWD!!" LOL! Funny. Very Funny. To this day Jon does a perfect imitation.

- Deborah Doyle: You know those crappy authors that come visit the school. Well, this is one that you could never forget. She was the fattest thing on earth. Extremely ugly clothes with a skirt that was holding her tits up so they wouldn't hit the floor. We instantly found this a classical joke. Every time we have to see or hear the name Deborah Doyle it comes along with a little "uuuuuuhhhhggggg" and you know what I mean. This is one of our favorite jokes. So if you say Deborah Doyle your sure to get an "uuuuhghgh." hahaha

- Shane and Marion in the barn: In class we were reading that book Shane. If you've ever read it the mother of the main/narrator character falls in love with another guy. So as we were discussing all this someone says something bout them in the barn. There is also this part where the kid yells "SHANE SHANE SHANE!" So being the jokster that I am I went "SHANE SHANE GET AWAY FROM MY MOM" "SHANE SHANE PUT THAT THING AWAY!" ahahaha yep it got me kicked out. But its sure to be a crowd pleaser.

-the black guy that follows us: Every time we go to the mall there is always and I mean always this black guy that follows us. He has a shirt that says Paramus Park Staff but I doubt he's part of the crew. And if he is then how come he's always following us around. Every turn you make he'll be there. Every time you go upstairs he's there and even if u may not see him come down when you do he'll be there. Very scary.

- footbagger: same night as "Oine voine vacenstoine" as we were playing hackeysac I'm like "Are you training to be a professional footbagger" to Elton. Even though that's what they're called Jon still started to crack up. I guess it did sound pretty funny.

- Stop hugging...: We met this girl at the mall (Jon's girlfriend now) and she instantly started hugging Jon. Every word he said he would get hugged. So much hugging I thought he wus gonna get AIDS. But anyway to make fun of the situation I was like "Jon, stop hugging you're making me horny." lol sick but funny. Spur of the moment kind of thing. We can always get a good laugh out of that one and a little "uuuuugghhhh" (see Deborah Doyle)

- Premature Ejac.: "ugggggghhh" see Deborah Doyle.

- I'll do it.... for a dollar: Jon likes to pay me a dollar for stuff. lol. Like humping the new kid's desk. There will be more bets and more money. Hahahaa. So if you see me doing something stupid or strange ;) you'll know why.

- Dollar menu: Every time we go to the mall I must buy the dollar menu. It saves money. I also broke Jon into the habit. You can get enough food for 3 or 2 bucks of the dollar menu as you can for a 6 dollar subway sub. To live large, spend little. This will help me save money for a car. The dollar menu will always be a great thing and I thank Ronald McDonald for introducing it.

- Are you staring at my f*cking ass?!?: Me and Jon were upstairs at PP. This hot girl walks past and we start making jokes and stuff. Like "she must work out" and "aidiadiadi" Then the girl turned around went straight up to Jon and said "Are you staring at my f*cking ass?!?" LOL. Jon wuz like "Nooooo..." while looking off to the ceiling. It was the greatest "no" I've ever heard.

- Big Lips: See the Mole.

- Pig vomit: Same night we met the mole we also met these 2 girls. If you've ever see the move Private Parts there is this character named Pig vomit. He is really ugly. So one of these girls looked exactly like Pig vomit and we couldn't look at her straight. It was sooo scary but extremely funny at the same time.

- Ox cancer: Convo in L.A. | Areaj is absent the day our project is due. Jon - hey mrs. dziob areaj is absent the day we have our project. | Mrs dziob - He's been absent for 2 days maybe he's just sick. | Jon - are you kidding me? areaj is as healthy as an ox | Steve (me) - Oxes are always sick | Elton - I know, they die everyday. | Steve - they even have their own cancer named after them.... ox cancer. hahahaha. Makes no sense but it sure was funny as hell. And remember support the...

Created by Steve Giangola.