Smelly
Cat
Lyrics:
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat it's not your fault...
They won't take you to the vet
Your obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And your no friend of those with noses.
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault!
Guitar
Chords
The
Shower Song
Lyrics:
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled backwards is nirget
Lather rinse repeat
And lather rinse repeat
As needed
Guitar
Chords
The
Two of Them Kissed Last Night
Lyrics:
There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real...
Now Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one that we'll call Loolie?
He must decide
Even though I made him up he must decide!
Guitar
Chords
The
Truth About Grandma
Lyrics:
Now Grandma's a person who everyone likes
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner
Now your mom and your dad say she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died and someday you will too
la la la la la la la la la la la la ....
The
Barnyard Song
Lyrics:
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And thats how we get Hamburgers.
Terry's
A Jerk
Lyrics:
Terry's a jerk
An' he won't let me work
And I hate Central Perk!....
....You're all invited to bite me!
The
Double Jointed Boy
Lyrics:
T'was the double-double-double jointed boy
Stephanie
Lyrics:
Stephanie knows all the chords!
The
Blackout
Lyrics:
New York City has no power.
And the milk is getting sour.
But to me it is not scary,
'Cause I stay away from dairy.
The
Book of Love
Lyrics:
Sometimes men love women,
Sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals,
Though some just say they're kidding themselves.
Don't
Lyrics:
There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you...
But don't.
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do. Everybody!
That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
My
Mother's Ashes
Lyrics:
My mother's ashes,
Even her eyelashes,
Are resting in a little, yellow jar.
And sometimes when it's breezy,
Or if I'm feeling sneezy,
And now I...
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Yeah, noisy boys!
Babies
Lyrics:
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.
But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why.
You cry and you cry and you cry.
The
Snowman
Lyrics:
(Jingles tambourine)
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'.
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
La la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Sticky
Shoes
Lyrics:
(Leslie:) My favourite shoes, so good to me, I wear them everyday
Down in the heels, holes in the toes, don't care what people say
My feet's best friends, pals to the end
With them on one high Chicy
Though late one night, not much light
(Phoebe and Leslie:) III... stepped in something ICKY!
Sticky Shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile
Sticky Shoes, sticky shoes,
Next time I'll... avoid the PILE!
Holiday
Song
Lyrics:
Went to the store
Sat on Santa's lap,
Asked him to bring my friends
All kinds of crap.
He said all you need is to write them a song,
They haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
SO DON'T SING ALONG!
Monica, Monica, Have a happy Hannukkah,
I saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross,
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be SNOWYYYYYY!
And Rachel and Chandler
(mumbling) haberill Glandlerrrr!
Colors
of My Bedroom
Lyrics:
...Fushia and Mauve
Those are the 66 colors of my bedrooooomm!
Parading
Goats
Lyrics:
Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street,
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats!
Tony
Tarzan
Lyrics:
Little Tony Tarzan,
Swinging on a nose hair,
Swinging with the greatest of ease...
Bodies
Lyrics:
They found their bodies the very next day!
Oh they found their bodies the very next day!
La la la la la la....
Crazy
Underwear
Lyrics:
Crazy underwear creeping up my butt.
Crazy underwear always in a rut.
Crazy underwear....
Guitar
Chords
My
Coma Guy (.mp3)
Lyrics:
You don't have to be awake to be my guy,
As long as you have brainwaves
I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day,
There's something I have got to say....
Little
Black Curly Hair (.mp3)
Lyrics:
I found you in my bed
How'd you wind up there?
You are a mystery
Little black curly hair
Little black curly hair
Little black little black little black little black
Little black curly hair!
Little
Fetus
Lyrics:
Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some ADIDAS!
Two
Heart Attacks (.wav)
Lyrics:
It only takes two heart attacks
to finally make you see
one of them won't do it
but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
it's time to say good bye
and that is just what I will do
as soon as those bastards I work for die
Lalalalalalalalalala!
Jingle
Bitch (.mp3)
Lyrics:
Jingle Bitch screwed me over
Go to hell jingle whore
go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, go to hell
When
I Play (.wav)
Lyrics:
When I play I play for me
I don't need your charity
Crusty
Old Man (.mp3)
Lyrics:
...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas
Paper Maché Man
Lyrics:
(three finger snaps)
I, I'm still waiting for my papier maché man
Your Hand
Mp3 thanks to Kathleen
T.!
Lyrics:
(Tune of This Land is Your Land)
This hand is your hand!
This hand is my hand!
Oh wait, that's your hand!
No wait, it's my hand!
[By Joey]
Sleepy Baby
Lyrics:
(Tune of Smelly Cat)
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl.
Why won't you go to sleep?
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl.
You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp!
[By Phoebe's father]
Your Love (cut from the pilot)
Mp3 thanks to Kathleen
T.!
Lyrics:
Love is as sweet as summer showers
Lover is a wondrous work of art
But your love, oh, your love, your love,
Is like a giant pigeon
Crapping on my heart
La la la la la la la la la...
Phoebe
Won't Leave
Lyrics:
We thought Phoebe would leave
But she just stayed and stayed
That's right. I'm here all night
And Chandler will never get...
Chandler Gay
Lyrics:
The first time I met Chandler
I thought he was gay
But here I am singing
At his wedding day
Ceremony
Lyrics:
Who will perform the ceremony?
Who will perform the ceremony...?
Dumb
Drunken Bitch
Lyrics:
Dumb Drunken Bitch
Whenever I Get
Married
Lyrics:
Whenever I get married
Guess who won't be asked to sing?
Somebody named Geller and somebody else named BING!
My Sticky Shoe!
Lyrics:
My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, ba-a-bay?