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Last Anglo in El Paso | |||||||||||||||||||
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Cover Story El Paso Zoo Begins Building Anglo Habitat Construction begins this week on a controversial state-of-the-art Anglo exhibit at the El Paso Zoo despite protests from animal rights activists who contend the money would be better spent to protect the Anglo's shrinking natural habitat in West El Paso. Anglos were placed on the city's endangered species list in the mid-1990s along with cougars and Mexican red wolves, but the number of Anglos has continue to decline. "My grandfather says Anglos were once plentiful in El Paso, and my father claims an Anglo girl set beside him in biology class at Coronado High," says zookeeper Angel Chavez, "but, today, most El Paso schoolchildren never get to see an Anglo, except on television or at the movies." MORE | ||||||||||||||||||
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| Mountain lions and Mexican red wolves have thrived inside the El Paso city limits since being placed on the endangered species list, but the El Paso Anglo population continues to decline. | ||||||||||||||||||||
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El Paso
Nears 100 Percent Diversity El Paso civic leaders applauded a new demographic study released Wednesday that predicts Hispanics will make up 100 percent of El Paso's population by 2010. "El Pasoans have long taken immense pride in the growing diversity of their vibrant city," said Mayor Ray Caballero, who added he sees no reason to modify minority hiring preferences. MORE | |||||||||||||||||||
| Drunk
Anglo Staggers into Mambo's Patrons of El Paso's newest nightclub were startled when an Anglo ventured onto the dance floor at Mambo's on South Mesa Hills Drive. "He was so smashed he confused the salsa for the Texas two-step," said regular Rosa Mendez. "He kept asking the deejay to play 'Cotton Eye Joe.'" MORE | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Anglo Cop Tickets
Anglo Motorist Veteran El Paso Police Sgt. Harlan Thomas achieved a career milestone Saturday when he ticketed an Anglo motorist after two decades of handing out traffic tickets exclusively to minority speeders. "I was beginning to feel like a total racist," Thomas said, "but it's tough to find an Anglo driver on El Paso streets. But this morning I spotted a Lincoln Navigator with heavily tinted windows traveling two miles an hour over the speed limit coming down that long downhill grade past the Sun Bowl. I hit the siren and . . ." MORE | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Best El Paso Places to Meet Anglos U-Haul Centers Tanning Salons El Paso International Airport Greyhound Bus Station Fort Bliss Officers Club El Paso County Correction Center (They may be murderers, rapists and child molesters, but they are the only Anglos who aren't leaving town anytime soon.) |
School District to
Refuse Diplomas to Anglo Seniors The El Paso School Board voted last night to deny Anglo students diplomas until the ratio between non-Hispanic white and Hispanic students reaches national norms. School board member Sal Mena conceded the controversial decision means Anglo students may have to repeat their senior year well into middle age. "I realize that many of our Anglo pupils are going to be upset at having to postpone college for a few decades," Mena said, "but think how well prepared they will be for college work when they do graduate." MORE | |||||||||||||||||||
| Cities With High Concentrations of
Anglos Cancun Acapulco Nowhere, Idaho Uncertain, Texas Hog Wallow, Arkansas |
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Assimilated
Chicanas Discover Blondes Have More Fun Their raven tresses never turns grey—they develop blonde streaks. You can see them at Dillard's cosmetic counter—despite naturally beautiful complexions—trying on makeup designed to make washed-out blondes look as though they haven't spent their entire lives at the bottom of mine shafts. They crowd the pews at St. Clement's, having made the short but transforming five-block-long cultural and theological journey down the hill from St. Patrick's. You can ogle them at the Mesa Street Bar & Grill on North Mesa, sipping gin and tonics and pretending they really love jazz. They are the fully assimilated Hispanic woman, and—for better or worse—they are both replicating and replacing one of El Paso's vanished species: the blonde, blue-eyed ice queen. MORE | |||||||||||||||||||
 Recommended ReadingLeft Behind Heartbreaking, true-life saga of non-Hispanic white males and females left behind in El Paso during the great Anglo Diaspora of the late 20th century |
Arroyo
Rafting Fails to Attract Anglo Tourists El Paso Parks and Recreation officials privately admit that arroyo rafting has done little to revitalize the city's flagging tourist industry. Project managers envisioned thousands of thrilled tourists rafting down the Franklin Mountain's normally bone-dry arroyos during El Paso's infrequent but intense summertime downpours. The tourists showed up, but checked out and went home in disgust when this summer's monsoon season failed to materialize on schedule. The "Raft El Paso" project also got a black eye when Parks and Recreation employees were caught using the yellow rubber rafts to ferry undocumented aliens across the Rio Grande. MORE | |||||||||||||||||||
Forget the Alamo? Researchers report most Anglos who remain in El Paso are so old they have forgotten all about the Alamo. |
EPISD
Initiates Search for Monolingual Teachers The El Paso Independent School District has launched an advertising campaign to lure monolingual school teachers to El Paso with promises of higher pay and extra benefits. A district administrator, who asked not to be named, said the recruiting effort is needed because 100 percent of El Paso school teachers and administrators are bilingual. "Actually, we have one history teacher who claims to speak only Manx—a Gaelic dialect from the Isle of Mann—but since Manx is now rated a 'dead language,' no one's sure. His students haven't complained, and their test scores are no worse than those of students who actually understand what their teachers are saying." However, the monolingual recruiting campaign has drawn fire from El Paso teacher unions whose representatives argue monolingual teachers shouldn't get extra pay and benefits just because they happened to grow up in English-only speaking parts of the nation. MORE | |||||||||||||||||||
