life[alternate[

these are for the 5 days i waited in laughter
these are burnt, and cut for fear of rejection.
and all i find is more closed doors, and all i choke on is more
lies. i know you were never insterested in me,
but only the old. If i live in the past you'll regret ever saying
that. i keep you as warm, as every coat i bought you.
i thought i kept you as happy as last fall. i guess i failed...........
i'll wilt with the roses, and become another memory, just outside of your sight..
i came back on a return well thought of in fear and hope,
i recieved your silence and your happiness in messages so vague i didn't know how to cry,
whether in happiness, or failure. you ruined both our lives..
as this razor sits tasting my arm, i can only guess the one who caused it.
it sits drinking away my
arm, i can only guess who caused it.
i'm just another saturday night.
just another set of lips.
my left arm weeps for every kiss that meant nothing to you but a 0.
and my right waits for the next tear, for an excuse to spill out the truth.
as rare as a smile to the poor.
my life is falling apart faster and further
with every friendship i try and mend.
this is to last night.
this is to last year.
i dreamt of you, and woke up weeping.
no mother to hold me. i held myself.
i love my knee's like i love you.
i love my knee's like i love you.




the last of m e
and the clock ticks the minutes by
i count my standing still run away
i think i made a mistake
a mistake not loving you
i think i've waited too long

these gold and blue letters
only make me think of candles
candles burning out any hope
any hope of you, ever stepping foot in my room

foot steps suffocated in the carpet
groans and bit lips silenced
the rains hitting hard
and honey i'm lying when i tell you this
and my feelings come
come out of foot and mouth
this may be
this may be
the last you see of me

before fall i counted 5
tonight i've found 9
you are borrowed.
i feel blue.
excuses are old.
i wish i was new.

my feelings come
come out of foot and mouth
this may be
this may be
the last you hear of me