Girly Poem

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee. And I can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber, But a beauty salon. I can get a massage without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook; I can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends, About the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit, To others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles, At any cost. And I don't have a problem, Admitting I'm lost.

I don't forget An important date. You just gotta deal with it; I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies, With lots of gore. Don't need instant replay, To remember the score.

I won't lose my hair; I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a b*tch.

Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her. In your dreams, my dear - I can do better!

Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best. Would you look at my face, Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem, With expressing my feelings. I know when you're lying; you look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl, A babe or a chick. I am a WOMAN, Get it, you prick?