[ WhatZ It Gona Be, CuZ I Cant Pretend, Dont You Wana B More Then FrienZ, Hold Me Tite & Dont Let Go... ]
^^^Thats a mad song^^^ Seeing boredome has got me by the balls ( the ones i dont have ) i decided to look up what my name means...This is what it said - "Meaning unknown although the first part of the name is ric meaning power.."Richelle" Is Greek For Shining" i dont know what thats surposed to mean but it sounds good, so im happy lol, at first they kept saying richard was the only name that somewhat resembles Richelle so i got pissed off and wrote a comment to a site and i told them off for not having my name lol... it was fun... anywayz, im sitting on the computer just about to have a smoke, in a second im going to walk my skinny ass over to the kitchen to make a coffee cuz im going to die if i dont have a drink of caffiene.. mm yum... @ the moment im sitting here listening to a song called... "Dont Let Go - En Vogue" its a mad ass song ay the lyrics are the title.. i just had that song on "Baby I Got Your Money - Ol'Dirty bastard" its a mad ass hektic song ay.... the scary thing is, i was listening to Slipknot and the rest ealier... i actually enjoyd it, i like "Surfacing, Liberate and Wait & Bleed" they are mint songs man, i like the lyrics in Wait & bleed, i duno its just touching lol... ok well il going to go have a hit of niccotine... so yeh ill get back to it, have a good one ok hunZ!! Mwa Love YaZ!!

= FuCkN HeL I DuNo NeMoRe =
Someone left a message on my guestbook and i think i know who it was.. the message was -

"Maybe I was out of line and I was being stupid, your my first true love and I will never forget you. Its not the fact that I dont want to be your friend, but you made it clear nothing will happen with us and then yea. It blew up in my face again and all I can say is sorry. Good Bye."

I dont understand, i know whats going on, he is just fucking with my head again, i know it... but it made me so happy to read it, not the fact that i would take him back or anything ( Which i probably would ) but man, i made me happy because if he asked me to take him back, i would say NO but at the moment im not sure, i have draws on the bottom of my old bed, and because the draws were againest the wall i didnt open them but tonight when i was cleaning that room, i opened the draws and i found my old diarys and a wooden box that i kept all my old letter in, i found 4 letters from phil, i found pictures that bought up old memories and i found a picture of sherie... ( My Sister That Died ) i dont know, i burst into tears, all my emotions were overlapping in my small head, it broke my heart in several different places... im not sure what my life purpose is at the moment, i dont know its its all going to end and i dont know if im going to live to see christmas, im so not sure... i just want to runaway from this life and move to america... maybe thats what ill do, so if i disappear, ill be in da states... perferably Georgia.. hehe... anywayz... @ the moment, im talking to Doug on the net, he is a sweetie, he has saved me from alot in the past, he knows everyone of my little secrets, and he has never used them againest me, i love him to death... @ the moment, he is upset, i dont know what to do, there is nothing i can possibly do, he is all the way in QLD... i hate it, the one person i love, is so very far away... he is the closest thing ive got to a best friend, other than stacie, with doug, he makes me laugh so much... anywayz. i g2g cheer him up somehow, dont want him to get hurt!! Mwa Love Yahs!!

{ As Cruel As It SeemZ }
I duno ay, i didnt mean everything i said, i was being so rude and i just didnt think, i duno, im not saying sorry, no fucking way... i meant it, i really did but maybe i shouldnt of went so hard... but oh well shit happens... im not expecting him to say sorry either and honestly, i couldnt give 2 shits if he said sorry because i dont care if this fight ends, i dont know... he said somethings like when i first met him, he said i was "Real" and now he is saying im not, well he didnt say it but i know it... but c'mon, i must be real to tell him the truth... and i think all this shit is about because i didnt go with him to the park to get pissed, i had better things to do, like attempt to become friends with "Michelle" My brothers girlfriends... i dont know, she broke my other bro and his gf up by lying and she said some shit about kelly to cameron, i dont know, she is something that is fake, i think she broke them up just to become best friends with the "ex's" but honestly, i dont give 2 shits if she is friends with my bros ex's... The thing that really gets to my head is that...My friends....Kelly, Hayley, Elisha, Hayley.S... everyone of them like Michelle because they think she is funny, cool and they think she dresses good, i know its is a jealousy thing, i know it is but the thing is, they invite her to places and they dont ask me until the last day because michelle cant make it, they are starting to piss me off and if they do it one more tym, i dont think im going to be around, like fukd if id kill myself because of them... HAHA fuck off i would, but yeh i wouldnt talk to them... i actually dont want to... they will ring me on saturday night i bet ya... they will ring to see if i want to go to haydens... but yeh... i wont go because i know they dont want me there... they will ask if michelle dont go...

{ " FuN " }
Yeh it was, I spent the whole day with Graham, We did nothing in the night but we "SLEPT" omg thats weird... Well in the morning, well afternoon should i say... we just hung out & i playd with hiz gorjuz puppy "Twitch" aww he iz beautiful!! Then we drove to KFC and we got dinner... well afternoon tea, whatever you want to call it ( use ur imagination ) We went back to hiz house and he kept tickerling me, it was fun... Then we left to come here & first he stopped and got me chocolate mMmMmMmMmMm YUM... I had a good day!! im not @ home & doubting the thought of happiness, yes he makes me happy but im still affraid and lonely ( i dont know why though ) Im not "Alone" but in my heart & mind i am, The cuts go deeper than the usual, They are both Invisible and Visible... I dont like spending all of my day wondering how things got this way, Im mentally sick i swear, i need to get away from all this... i think ill be alot happier in queensland, its just a matter of getting up there & Leaving all my friends... im gona miss so many people but every holidayz they can come up and stay with us, seeing we will be living on Surfers... i think they wont hesitate to come and stay with us... if stacie and johno dont work out, she said she will come and move with us.... and if kelly stops doing all this drug shit, and if she stops being a dick, i might consider letting her stay with us... the thing that has changed my mind about kelly is dat she is now nto drugs... the other day she said "Oh the other day wen i poppd those pillz" i cut her off half way through when she was talking and i told her never to talk about that shit near me, i hate it so much... i duno ay, just being around people that do all that kinda shit makes me feel arward!! i duno ay, its their lives and if they are willing to fuck it all up... let them be, until then, They aint comin to me for help!!

Who Lovez Me?
Haha... 10 minutes later i find out someone really does Love me hehe and that person iz.... *DRUMROLL PLEASE* Graham, lol he is on his way back from Canberra and he is stopping to get me and im stayin at his house because im bored and i have to attempt to keep him awake so i will keep him awake by singing my ol'skool songs and bustin ma movez... they seem to keep him entertained...LOL but other than that we will probably talk about how our lives are shit and about how much he hates work... but i know he loves it, he gets paid enough, i know i wouldnt complain... but anywayz thats his life, not mine, im so bored at the moment... OMFG... who rings my house phone at this tym of the night, i know someone has no life at all... c'mon, its probably one of my mums KRAYZEE obsessed stalker friends... they are all freaks... like this one gurl, her name is "Joanne" OMFG she likes Chris... is yous dont know who chris is... he is the psychodic guy that lives with us, once i remember he freaked out and had a panic attack because my mum was dancing with a guy at a club... daymn man he loves my mum but my mum has taste... not that she would of settled for much better, etc... My dad!! Hes a great guy but he just dont make much of an effort to see us.. i wish he made us move to queensland... i miss him so much, not to mention my sister, Jessie, Dylan and Kira... i miss them all man... :( Fuck it, im going to queensland for my birthday!! i Loves ya!!

Whats Wid People Theze Dayz!?!
Fuck... Life just keeps getting harder, im looking forward to next week because i know the hardness has reached the max that it could possibly go so i know im not going to need to think... lol... I duno anymore, its just that im confused about everything, i dont know what to think about anyone anymore, They all say one thing and do another. People say they "Like" me or better yet "Love" me when none of them care about me, whats da deal? C'mon man, im sick of life and its horrible bullshit, its all fake, everyones fake, no one is what they seem to be... like me... etc... I say to myself that people care about me and they dont... bullshit, and im sick of it... no one cares if they did..... why am i so fucking unhappy.... Laterz!!

Wo0t..
HayZ.. I just finished adding this thing and i dont know how its coming along at the moment, but yeh.. pretty cool... At the moment other than making this, Im talking to "Stel" And he is just telling me how i make him happy, which i doubt is true... but yes, he makes me happy except tonight because something is completely wrong with him... i dont know what it is, but yeh something is... ill try to find out but its a bit hard when he just disappeared off the net! i dont know anymore... =( Bai Sweetz! Mwa