Hay naku... last night, I've worked with my papa (kunware lng)... grabe... every time that I work with him, he's always stressed, losing himself, and finally, he doesn't talked to me like a friend...hay... he's always like that. But, I was curious when he looked at me. I asked him if he wanted me to do anything before I left. Then, he looked straight to my eyes for the first time. It was a different look. He said that I should leave but I think his eyes were telling me that I shouldn't leave. How did I knew that? I looked straight into his eyes very deeply.

    Whenever I worked with him before, I always taking an hour over time after my shift because I wanted to see him more. Before, I felt so happy but right now, I don't want to see him because I'm starting to fall in love with him. It's not right to fall in love with him because we are so different... very different from each other. Another reason is that many girls like him very much. I am jealous when girls are flirting him. I feel so angry that I wanted to fight with them. But.. what am I supposed to do? He's not my boyfriend anyway. Another thing is that whenever I am joking with my guy friend especially at work and when I ask someone about a one person especially a guy, he's always interfering. 

   If only I could tell my feelings towards him... but, I think I'm wasting my time. Besides, I don't want to experience another kind of pain because I'm not ready for that. I don't want to cry once again.