this poor guy. i almost didn't have the heart to keep going with him. but i had to.

jedinite5555: asl
klimper23: 17/F/MA CAPTAIN
klimper23: YOURSELF?
jedinite5555: 18/m/ny
klimper23: HOW NICE
klimper23: SO WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES
jedinite5555: surfing, swimming, chillin, and editing movies
jedinite5555: urs?
klimper23: HOW IS "CHILLIN" A HOBBY, CAPTAIN?
klimper23: I'M INTERESTED IN THE RAMIFICATIONS
jedinite5555: like, just hangin with friends
klimper23: AH I SEE THEN
jedinite5555: i have know idea wat that is
klimper23: I BELIEVE YOU MEANT TO SAY "NO IDEA"
jedinite5555: yea
jedinite5555: sry
klimper23: EXCELLENT
klimper23: IT'S ALLRIGHT CAPTAIN
klimper23: I'LL STILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU
jedinite5555: woah
jedinite5555: u mean cyber
jedinite5555: i believe
klimper23: WHO KNOWS!!!!!!1
jedinite5555: dont u mean cyber
jedinite5555: u cant have sex online
klimper23: HOWEVER MY HOBBIES INCLUDE READING GOETHE, STUDYING AVIAN SPECIES, PLAYING THE HARPSICHORD, FIXING CARS, AND EATING FLOWERS
klimper23: YES CAPTAIN, I MEAN CYBER
jedinite5555: ok u start
klimper23: WAIT WAIT WAIT CHIEF
jedinite5555: wat
klimper23: I MUST ENTER YOUR SOUL A BIT MORE BEFORE I GIVE UP MY INTERNET VIRGINITY TO YOU!
jedinite5555: ok
jedinite5555: wat do u wanna know
klimper23: WELL THEN...WHAT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS ON THE WAR
jedinite5555: i say theres two sides
klimper23: IN IRAQ, CAPTAIN
klimper23: WOW, THAT'S DEEP!
jedinite5555: my cousin went to kuwait, but saddams an ass
klimper23: YES HE IS, INDEED
jedinite5555: u dont have to talk like that
jedinite5555: and u dont have to call me captain
jedinite5555: u can call me marty
klimper23: HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT "KUWAIT" KIND OF LOOKS LIKE "KUMKQWAT"
jedinite5555: sorta
klimper23: BUT CAPTAIN IS NICE I THINK, DON'T YOU?
klimper23: I ONCE KNEW A GUY NAMED MARTY HERE AT HOME
jedinite5555: well, im just sayin if u want to call me by my name, call me marty
klimper23: MARTY BLEW UP AN ATM MACHINE
klimper23: THAT'S HIS CLAIM TO FAME
jedinite5555: well i didnt
jedinite5555: my real name is morton
klimper23: SO THE GOVERNMENT ISN'T AFTER YOU ON SOME SORT OF "TERRORISM CHARGES?"
jedinite5555: u can probably see y i like to be called marty instead of morton
jedinite5555: no
klimper23: YES I CAN SEE THAT
klimper23: CAN I CALL YOU MORT
jedinite5555: sure
klimper23: AND DURING CYBER-LOVE, WOULD YOU BE AVERSE TO BEING CALLED "UNCLE"
jedinite5555: y
klimper23: IT'S A SPECIAL SPECIAL THING
klimper23: SPECIAL
jedinite5555: ok
klimper23: EXCELLENT MORTON
klimper23: NOW, I MUST INQUIRE...DO YOU EAT MEAT
jedinite5555: sometimes
klimper23: I SEE
klimper23: DOES THIS INCLUDE BEEF TONGUE
jedinite5555: no
jedinite5555: ive never had beef toung
klimper23: HORRIBLE! YOU MUST TRY BEEF TONGUE
jedinite5555: i will
klimper23: IT TASTES LIKE FRIED GAZPACHO
jedinite5555: yea
klimper23: INDEED
jedinite5555: y r u talkin like that
klimper23: "TALKIN" LIKE WHAT, COLONEL?
jedinite5555: indeed, excellent, colonel, captain
jedinite5555: its just strange
klimper23: LAST TIME I CHECKED, "INDEED" AND "EXCELLENT" WERE COMMON ENGLISH WORDS
klimper23: CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, LIEUTENANT
jedinite5555: i know
jedinite5555: but im just sayin ur talkin like the queen of england
klimper23: DOES THE QUEEN SAY "EXCELLENT" A LOT?
jedinite5555: no, but she says indeed
klimper23: MY MOTHER SAYS INDEED
jedinite5555: r u british
jedinite5555: o ok
klimper23: DO YOU KNOW THE QUEEN, SERGEANT?
jedinite5555: thats different then
klimper23: YES IT IS
jedinite5555: y r u callin me sergeant now
jedinite5555: i thought i was uncle
klimper23: BECAUSE IT'S KAMPY FUN!
jedinite5555: yea
jedinite5555: r u british
klimper23: ONLY DURING SEX ARE YOU UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jedinite5555: o sry
klimper23: I'M ORIGINALLY FROM SWEDOMANIA
klimper23: IT'S IN SOUTHEASTERN EURASIA
jedinite5555: ok
klimper23: NEAR THE URIC MOUNTAINS
jedinite5555: o
klimper23: BUT I'VE LIVED IN THE AMERICA FOR 10 YEARS
jedinite5555: congrats
klimper23: WHY THANK YOU CORPORAL
klimper23: YOU MAKE ME SMILE
jedinite5555: no problem
klimper23: NOW TELL ME, WHERE ARE YOU FROM, REAR ADMIRAL?
jedinite5555: ive been in america all of my life
klimper23: HOW'S THAT TREATING YOU
jedinite5555: fine
klimper23: DO YOU DRIVE A CHEVROLET
klimper23: THAT IS AN AMERICAN CAR
jedinite5555: yes
jedinite5555: i also drive a toyota
jedinite5555: im an intern
klimper23: EXCELLENT COMMANDER!! TOYOTAS ARE FINE VEHICLES INDEED!!
jedinite5555: yes quite
klimper23: I ONCE HAD A TOYOTA, BUT THE CATALYTIC CONVERTER SLIPPED A COGSHAFT
jedinite5555: there expuisite
jedinite5555: o really
klimper23: AND THEN IT EXPLODED
jedinite5555: oooo
jedinite5555: thats not fun
klimper23: BUT IT GOT FIXED
jedinite5555: o wonderfull indeed
klimper23: NO INDEED SIRE! HOWEVER MY FORD HAS BEEN ALL BUT TROUBLE FREE
jedinite5555: o im quite sry
klimper23: NO THAT'S A GOOD THING COMMANDER! THE ENGINE HASN'T GONE CRITICAL IN OVER 500 MILES!
jedinite5555: o
klimper23: THEY SAY THE RADIOACTIVITY SHOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE SINCE I GOT THE RECALL TAKEN CARE OF
jedinite5555: really
klimper23: WHY INDUBITABLY
jedinite5555: o
jedinite5555: fascinating
klimper23: DID YOU KNOW THAT MY AUNT MILDRED-ANNE ONCE HAD SEX IN A FORD
jedinite5555: wat a catastrophic event
jedinite5555: was her "sex-mate" wearing a condom
klimper23: THAT'S HOW MY COUSIN BLUEBLOOD JOE WAS BORN
klimper23: WHY NO CHIEFTAIN
jedinite5555: o
klimper23: HE WAS NOT WEARING A RUBBER!
jedinite5555: o fascinating
klimper23: OR MAYBE HE WAS, BUT IT WAS MADE OF TINFOIL
klimper23: I DO NOT REMEMBER THE PARTICULATES
jedinite5555: really
klimper23: YES
jedinite5555: were u there
klimper23: REALLY
klimper23: FOR 5 MINUTES I WAS
jedinite5555: how could u be so sure it was a tinfoil
jedinite5555: it could have been a steel
klimper23: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT UNCLE WIGGLY
jedinite5555: hey, thats for cyber
klimper23: I THINK IT WAS COPPER CHLORIDE, ON SECOND THOUGHT
klimper23: AAAAAAAH! YOU ARE RIGHT!!!
jedinite5555: of course
jedinite5555: im smart
klimper23: I CAN TELL
jedinite5555: thank u, u r awfully kind
klimper23: DO YOU PLAY THE LUTE?
jedinite5555: no, im afraid i dont
klimper23: DAMN IT
jedinite5555: im quite sry
klimper23: IS YOUR PENIS OF LARGE PROPORTIONS?
klimper23: I MUST KNOW
jedinite5555: quite large proportions
jedinite5555: that is, wen it is erected
klimper23: WHEN YOU SAY "LARGE," DO YOU MEAN LARGER THAN A PENCIL?
jedinite5555: much
klimper23: OR PERHAPS A TRIPE-A BATTERY
klimper23: TRIPLE, I MEAN
jedinite5555: it is big enuff for ur satisfaction
jedinite5555: tell me, how r ur brests
jedinite5555: r they of large proportions
klimper23: MOST CERTAINLY MASTER P
jedinite5555: and r they squeezable
klimper23: NO
klimper23: ABSOLUTELY NOT
jedinite5555: ok
klimper23: MY RELIGION FORBIDS IT
klimper23: HOWEVER
jedinite5555: o wat is ur religion
jedinite5555: im quite fascinated about u, ur a very lovley person
klimper23: AWWWWWWW HOW NICE MIDSHIPMAN
klimper23: I AM FOND OF YOU AS WELL
jedinite5555: y thank u
klimper23: HOWEVER MY RELIGION IS SOUTHERN BAPTIST SHINTOISM
jedinite5555: o fascinating
klimper23: AND BRESTESES-SQUEAZING IS ABSOLUTELY VERBOTEN
klimper23: ESPECIALLY IN MY HOME KOUNTRY OF NORWEGISTAN
jedinite5555: o
klimper23: DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
klimper23: I HOPE SO BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF YOU DIDN'T
klimper23: ARE YOU STILL WITH US GENERALISSIMO?

“jedinite5555” signed off at 10:32:54 PM.