The ASW: *pokes* *shifty eyes* *pokes again*
The Evil Overlordess: hallo
The ASW: Are joo Rachel?
The Evil Overlordess: oh, jah, i am rachel. (fear me.... bwaha.)
The ASW: Tis other Rachael. *fears* *makes squirrel noises and eats almond*
The Evil Overlordess: nooooooo! MY ALMOND! *leaps at almond, chittering*
The ASW: *runs in circles, beating squirrel chest* *sees tail out of corner of eye* *chases*
The Evil Overlordess: oh, never mind. i have peanuts.... I am going to be the Evil Overlord of my town and have flying... possums.
The ASW: Possums? *shifty eyes* I'll have chickens... my chicken army. Commanded by ACCoIS, Almighty Chickens Capable of Intelligent Speech, Roosty and Smooth. Smooth was attacked by a feline nemesis and is currently in the hospital. We await her word.
The Evil Overlordess: bwahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. my possums will have capes.... mauve capes, that flap fearfully in the breeze! and their eyes shall shine with the light of niftiness and Kool-Aid overdose-ness. i shall build my fortress in my GARAGE, and take over the world's supply of FISHSTICKS! AND... WISHING WELLS!
The ASW: *LMAO* Gasp! Well, my chickens will be given chlorine blue jet packs made of Seran Wrap and Styrofoam! Not to mention fireworks molded from year old cottage cheese, which I got for 50% off because of their green colouring. They shall learn Japanese and attack the Jellical Junkyard from aerial-ness. And shower the feline nemesises with Robitussin and Compsognathus pee! Gaahaaa!
The Evil Overlordess: well, i shall break into the Beaver Fortress with my superdiffywonskeylaserthings and convince the Holy Kumquat to join my side and bring the sacred bullfrogs with him! And with this mighty army, we will.... uh... obliviate the world of MIMES and green JELL-O with PEAR SLICES!!!!!!!!!! And then I will learn to KNIT and make DOOMSDAY MITTENS for my POSSUMS, and STRIKE TERROR INTO THE SPLEENS OF ALL OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT MITTENS!
The ASW: *falls from chair laughing* Huzzah! Grand plan, I must say. But *hisses* The chickens will be fed HolyPizzleShit Formula, enabling their waste products to become acidic! When attacking, chickens will simply turn tail and shoot amo. And I will design a lovely getaway clown mobile, covered in colourful flowers and army camo. And then allow my chickens to consume the world supply of portapotties and teacups! Pandaaaahahahaaa!
The Evil Overlordess: NOT THE TEACUPS!!! *spazs. laughs ears off.* ACIDIC CHICKENS! *puts ears on again* My Secret SooperWeapon will be errected in the highest convinient volcano in all the land, and when a Good-Hearted Hero(tm) rides up to challenge me and wishes to stop me, he will find the fortress door OPEN and the SooperWeapon chamber EMPTY except for a single cup of NON-DAIRY, LOFAT, HYPOALLERGENIC DECAFFINATED *evil decaf* MOCHA VANILLA CARAMEL IRISH POODLE CREAMY COFFEEDRINK, and while he is PUZZLING I shall sneak up behind him and thwonk his ankles with a SALMON!!!!!!
The ASW: NOOOOOO! Salmon Ankle Thwonking!? The torture! When done with my chicken mission, I shall join the league of Jellical Cats, for I am weird in that way. And we shall locate the evil Macavity and restrain him. As reward for evil doings, he must kiss a tree! Yes, KISS THE TREE. Then I'll marry him and have an affair with Rum Tum Tugger, and blame it on SPOOT, The Vegetarian Mew! And we shall have happy wall denting nights and raise little Bacon Chedder Biscuits!
The Evil Overlordess: i will build a DARK CITADEL in PITTSBURGH, surrounded by the desolate wastes filled with MONKEY RIPPERS and FWOMBLING GNARGLES! BINGO NIGHT will be WEDNSDAY, and when the high glunking murdlfurt is not looking, i will slip POPROCKS into his fishpond and become the SOLE RULERS OF THE BUBBLEWRAPIAN EMPIRE! I will quest for the BRONZE POTATO which turns INVINCIBLE when soaked in warm water, and use it to throw at TOURISTS, while singing the CHARMIN TOILET PAPER COMMERCIAL! SONG! Then I will go on a cruise to the Yukon, seek out my turnip roots, return home and become a well-off exectutive in the paper drink umbrella buisiness who hears voices of Bob the Great Kipper and Suzanfookl Manderbinmgs. *sadness* Bob went to Colorado to climb rocks and never came home. I believe he is cheating on Suzanfookl with a beaver, but then again, you can never trust rumors. it may very well be a caribou.
The ASW: I am out-fuzzled. And I am very humoured.
The Evil Overlordess: i am sorry your fuzzle has left you. i would lend you mine but he's in the shower.
The ASW: My fuzzle went to be drycleaned. ;-;
The Evil Overlordess: awwww. mine did, but he was Not The Same when he returned. They didn't even manage to get the stain out. I bought my new fuzzle for three bucks at a yard sale. He is a good fuzzle. Except for the fact that he referes to me as Charles... and has a phobia of linen.
The ASW: My fuzzle was recently force fed macadamia nut wine and spilled it on his... bumskwuzzler.
The Evil Overlordess: teehee. I am drawing a picture of me fuzzle.
The ASW: Huzzah!