Don't Watch X-Play

Why Do I Hate X-Play?

Extended Play will always linger in my mind as the greatest piece of Video Game journalism ever put to celluloid. Adam Sessler, who hosted the show at the glorious Mecca of gaming, Metreon, presented respectful reviews and previews of upcoming video games. But the marketing geniuses at TechTV decided that the show desperately needed more "extremeness" and a "brand new sex symbol". Great. They changed the name to "X-Play" and hired Morgan Webb of the Screen Savers fame. First of all, with the addition of Webb, they must've grown ovaries, because all they do on X-Play is bash, piss, and generally moan about how bad the games they play are. Morgan Webb tries to make pizza-faced geeks think that her face doesn't resemble a squirrel's ass, and wears shirts that conveniently show cleavage. Usually in an episode, Morgan makes fun of Adam. This is what drives me over the line. Adam Sessler used to be an idol for all gamers, the ultimate gaming muscle that we could aspire to have if we played hard enough. Now, he's nothing but a pervert chasing the worst tail on the market: game girls. To make things worse, they brought on a band called "Fourteen Year-Old Girls" last week. To quote the leader of the band, "We're punks, and we stick to what we know. And video games is what we know". Nice grammar, asswipe. Not only did they sound like retarded monkeys with a base and keyboard, but there were people in the studio actually GIVING PRAISE to these cuntrags. To top it all off, they intend on burning bridges that they are walking straight across. Morgan Webb once questioned "Why does Ashton Kutcher have a career?" I'll tell you why, she-bitch(wonderful Bruce Campbell reference). It's because Ashton has been in movies and successful network-TV shows(not that I'm endorsing him in any way, his body of work is just greater than that of Webb), while you are co-hosting a show about gaming(I don't mean that gaming is bad, just that it's not for the mainstream) on expanded cable. You go to hell, Morgan Webb. You go to hell and you die.