Our Promises If Elected
Josh Conner and Dan Hong are regular folks, just like you. When they need a tractor with a cup-holder for their Budweiser when they're mowing the lawn of their independent business, they turn to John Deere, an American company. That was the first piece of vicious propaganda in this page. As Dan and I sat in Journalism today, we asked ourselves, "What do class-Presidents really do?" We couldn't answer. That's because class offices are always the same. This year's sophomore class president is different than last year's freshman class president, but besides being different people, can you really distinguish what they did in office? No? That's because at every single school in the nation, offices of power are only one thing, a nice mark on a college application. But Dan and I are about to change that(cue propaganda #2). Walt Flanagan endorses Josh and Dan running for class office. Don't you? End second propaganda strain. But next year, if elected Dan and I would like to bring about change by 1)changing the school mascot(or at least getting one). Does a man-in-suit even show up at our games anymore? Which is why we've voted for the Fonz to be our mascot. It's so simple that it's genius, a guy in a white T-shirt and leather jacket running around and hitting the bleachers during a game would be awesome. Wacky promise #2: Change the school lunch by pacifist force. No better way to make the administration aware of the E-Coli-ridden food than by experience. Genius. Finally, we promise, if elected, to combat Mr. William's slightly ridiculous "No Lock No Luck" locker policy. Never before has a rule been so redundant and stupid. Those are but a few of the ways that Dan and I can improve the school next year. Vote for Dan and Josh, a couple of losers.