Alone
Trapped in this dark room, I stand.
The walls closing in around me.
I am cold.
I am alone.
I scream, but no one hears.
I scream, to the one standing before me.
But, he does not care.
He does not care that I am dying.
My soul is being crushed by these surronding walls.
The walls of my life.
I lay before him, crying.
Pleading with him to help me.
Yet, he still does not care.
I am alone.
With or without him, I am alone.
No love, no peace, no life.
Alone and cold.
The death creeps in around me.
The shadows engulfing me like hungry flames.
He watches, expressionless.
My last thought...
He could have saved me, yet, He did not care enough to...

Hey
Hello anyone who is reading this..why are you reading this?.. lol LEts see my lifes pretty boring..I FINALLY got around to initiating myself as a solitarie..its a Wiccan thing.. lol Um...I dunno what else..Jessies not grounded anymore! woohoo! now i have someone to hang out with..today im home sick cause i got a sty or something..my eye is itchy..um yeah..so..byez!

Whats been up
I haven't been writing lately..sorry..I guess alotta things been happening..Jessie's grounded..im going crazy without her..and without steph..and i miss theo..well not theo..but having someone..he was such an ass tho! All the fuckin lies and the pain..i dont need that..I was soo good to him..and he treated me like shit! Maybe it was me..maybe im just that stupid..and that bad of a gf..Im so pathetic..I just wanted to trust him SO much..I can never trust anyone..it sucks..

Pointless?
Ok I don't wanna sound totally cliche..but is there a point to life? More importantly..is there a point to my life? I don't wanna make it seem like "oh poor me, poor me". But, I really have nothing. I hate my family, I have no one to love, no one that loves me, I have no life, no future, no interests, no goals. I have nothing. I have nothing to look forward to. I am a complete and utter waist of a life. I just want someone to care for..thats all..Yet, I get nothing. I hate everything sometimes. I hate everyone. It just seems, sometimes, like everyone has it better off than me..I'm not saying thats true..it just seems like it. I can't do anything better than anyone. I am nobody. I am alone. And it just feels pointless to try and change. It just seems to hard. I just don't want to deal with things anymore. I just want to be alone, with no one to judge me. I just want peace..thats all i want. Most of all I want to cut. I miss it so much. It's been about 6 months since the last time i cut. No one seems to understand that I need it. Its the only way I can function. Its just like pot heads need pot or alcoholics need alcohol. Its my drug. It's my release. It's how I deal. It's how I get over the past. It's how I deal with the present. It replaces that big gaping hole in the center of my soul. It makes me feel happy. I just want to be happy. But, apparently, thats to much to ask for in my life. Nope. Everytime something good comes along I screw it up. I screw everything up. I hate myself more than anyone or anything. I don't deserve anything. I don't even deserve death. I am a horable excuse for a person. And thats why I have nothing...

Theo
Theo..My last bf..I wonder sometimes if he really even cared abvout me. I cared about him so much. I would have done anything for him. Yet, he treated me like crap. He never called, he rarely returend my calls. But, I loved him. I still love him. I miss him so much. Everything was perfect when we were together, at least I thought so. But, when we were apart it seemed like he didn't care, whatsoever. All I know is I love him and miss him sooo much..and I want him back. He's all I can think about. Man love sucks....

Link for Twisted Method
www.ufanz.com/teams/tracking.asp?ti=410&mi=32264

First Entry
Ok, since this is the first entry. It's not going to be very much. Let's start with the basics. I am Meagan. This is going to be the place where I release my thought, feelings, whatever the hell I feel like putting really. And I guess your going to read it. Thats pretty much it.