Watashi wa Cowboy Desu ka
Last update - August 24, 2003
If you don't know Mark Lorenz, you probably won't find anything interesting here.
Today's update has a little for something for everyone. Here's something to think about, if you use this webpage to fill-in the gaps in your memory, then you are certainly worth of being on the page. See, everything works out copasetic.
^^No1OSUBuckeyeFan: ready for tonight?^^
^^Has anyone noticed that I really like these "progression" type pictures?^^
A very good party yeilds some very good pictures. I don't know what brings these things together; perhaps it's the magnetism of a large metal object known as a keg. More pictures to come.
^^This is the first annual composite photo of the sigma upsilon chi co-ed serVICE fraternity. Or, as I like to call it Σ UΧ.^^
^^Still no pictures of Doug. But, I do have this picture which shows us a game of flip-cup through his eyes, nauseating.^^
Small update. I found a very interesting brochure; it's for a very limited insurance plan on your Cingular cell phone. Also, pictures from this weekends awsome party will be arriving soon.
^^Me to insurance guy, "Soooo, you're saying that if a rat steals my phone to use for his nest, you wont replace it? *Expletive*"^^
Massive update. Sometimes when a caption makes no sense, it has a hidden meaning.
^^Some people say pyramids are a lens for cosmic forces. Maybe that should read "comic forces".^^
^^Better stay out of his way.^^
^^Downey would look good with HIGHLIGHTs.^^
^^M98 meets your mom's flowers. Damn you Jake.^^
^^It was the 4th of July, so we blew up a Pepsi bottle. Makes sense to me.^^
Really big update today. I'm amazed at how many of these pictures look so good that I don't even need to turn them into art. Also, there apparently is a length limit to angelfire webpages, and i've exceeded it. So I'll be deleting old photos for new ones. If you want to save any, you best do it now.
^^Comming to a saloon near you.^^
^^All that's missing are the halos(no, not the video game).^^
^^This must be what Bryan looks like when you push him down.^^
^^A bouquet of bottle rockets and a grill lighter, what could make a girl happier?^^
And now for something serious… Get out your dictionary, (or go to www.m-w.com) and look up the word "spendthrift". This word is very germane to some of you. If you couldn't decide between waffle fries or crinkle cut, so you bought both, I'm winking in your direction. I urge those of you who are pissing away your liquid assets to consider the economics of this: I spent $125 on a new digital camera (which is a vast improvement over my old, broken one). Then I took 70 pictures on the 4th of July. If I had been using disposable cameras, at $8 per camera, and $8 to get the film developed, that's $8*3cameras + $8*3developments, which = $48. Huh, the camera has already paid for 1/3 of itself. Well, that's enough of my sermonizing, on to the update.
If you think this is hot, wait till you see what Kerrie and Sarah have to offer. Many more pictures coming soon; I just need to sort throught all 70 of them.
^^Well, I remember who Kerrie is, and definitely Sarah. I just seem to have forgotten who I am.^^
^^This one has a built in caption.^^
I wish you could see the originals of these pictures. There used to be a flag behind Marty’s head, and Tommy and Min were making out.
^^I always knew these two had an unspoken bond.^^
^^Nothing comes to mind when I see this picture. However, I do wonder just how long Krissi's arms are.^^
^^With proper balance Marty can actually support ten times as many drunk people.^^
^^This picture is funny enough without a caption.^^
^^I attempted to teach Min a lot of American culture. This is me "in the barn door", you know euchre. Never mind the fact that the cards have the Canadian flag on them. I also taught her the following slang words: Anal aviator (her favorite),..... On second thought, these are just too vulgar to post.^^
I've got lots of pictures and inspiration, which means lots of webpage updates. Rather than one big one I'm going to stretch it out. Bellow is the first installment. I hate those cliché, banal, trite, uninspired and tired MasterCard™ rip-offs, but I maxed-out my card at "The world’s longest bar".
^^Yes, you are looking at $36.00 worth of beers. I'm not even going to speculate on the cost of that Redbull™.^^
Ok people, I don't know what happened, but for a really long time I wasn't able to edit this web page. Here are the pictures from my birthday. Hopefully in less than a week I will have pictures from Memorial day weekend. Those should prove to be veeery entertaining.
^^I call this one, "Derek Remembers"^^
^^If my birthday had been a comicstip this is what it would have looked like.^^
Well, it's update time again! To All thoes who tried to fix Drew Kreigers USB port, I'd just like to say, YOUSUCKSOMUCHICANTBELIEVEITHAHAHAYOUSUCK! Since Drew's computer is back in working order I've got some pictures I like to call, "Don't fall asleep because Lorenz is a dick."
^^How's that line go? Oh yea, "You're money, you're soooo money.^^
It's been such a long time since the last update, I'll be surprised if anyone actually sees this. I feel thoes that do see it will talk about it for a long time. Also, watch the liquid fill up in the glass. Damn that's cool.
^^I'm currently working on a buddyicon sized version of this animated gif.^^
^^Why doesn't this girl like getting hit on the head with a shovel? Look at the expression on her face.^^
Immediately below is two weekends worth of updates, organized not chronologicaly, but by subject. This update comprises the two most interesting weekends since July 4, 2001. Hopefully, the update is also that intersting.
^^I didn't realize there was a market for such things.^^
Matt Downey. I know that's not technically a sentance, but come on, the kid can do things normal people wont. He's just that cool, period. Click to see it.
^^This American badass (who, IMHO, makes a damn good hamburger) got kicked in the face by a drunken redneck. Now poor Karl P. has a redface.^^
^^Along similar lines, Jeremy got hit in the face with a GLASS beer bottle. This was no sugar-glass like in the movies. After a short trip to the hospital
he was cracking open another beer as the sun rose. Oh yea, that's another badass I can add to my collection. I just want to know one thing, where is Scott Weigand?^^
While im on the subject of camping I'd like to give honorable mention to some of Tim's more honorable mentionings. They are as follows in list form:
1. "Let me go put on my long-sleave pants."
2. "I don't think there are any Wendys' in Mansfield"
3. "See that building? It's stuffed with cows!"
4. "I'll sleep with the dog then" (to his girlfriend)
The next one isn't from Tim, but its definatly worthy. Thanks a lot Jenny VanHorn.
1. "Yea, I'll go smoke with you after I finish eating this cigarette."
Get punched in the gut by Tim.
On days when the grass is green, and lager is cold, Toothman just can't hold back the irish in his blood, or in his feet for that matter. See it.
Your reward for scrolling through all the boring material above is a movie of me doing some gymnastics thing. I know, it's rewards like that that keep you going back.
^^Bryan and Urien in a very fierce look-alike contest.^^
It was about time for some serious updates, and this Friday's good weather has been extremely helpfull in furthering that end. Below are pictures of people doing their thing in the sun. "Summer time, you know the livin's easy....."
^^There must be some serious forces at work keeping this guy single.^^
^^Sometimes I forget what Kerrie looks like, never again.^^
Matt Downey is like some kind of super human. I mean, just look at what he can do. (There is sound, it's just quiet.)
WoW, 200 hits. I know they aren't all unique, but I don't see how that matters at all. It must be my trademark 
style. Yea, style.
I hope it's not just me, but I think most 26 episode anime series' have awsome music. Here's a sample from Cowboy Bebop.
As an engineering major I don't have to take ANY art classes. I think that sucks. But instead of just whining about it I went out and found an art major who would let me do her homework. Have room for art?
It's pretty clear from the X on his hand that this kid is under 21. What's not clear is (a) the stain on his pants and (b) how someone so young gets so drunk. This is pretty embarrassing so I'll leave Tommy's name out of it. Oops.
Click HERE to leave comments about tommy and/or incontinence.
(Note: comments will be posted within 24hrs. Also, the comment page turns into an advertisment after you submit.)
Videos of Matt Toothman catching a frisbee:
If you have a crush on Matt Toothman, get your fixxx here.
More Matt
He really goes for those novelty flying disks.
Matt Toothman Click HERE.
^^This one's for you Mark Hanke^^
All images copyright Mark J. Lorenz, 2002. That means DON'T steal my original pictures and put them on your webpage. Yea.
I love Angel fire and Lycos. Please, please, please don't delete my homepage again guys.
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