Essential Antics and Ongoing Rabble-Rousing
The World Wildlife Federation puts on a fundraiser at the World renouned CN Tower every year. The cause is to raise money for animals in need. With more money to construct simulated environments for these animals that are about to become extinct, they can help repopulate the world with squirrels and other animals, but mainly squirrels. What better way to give back to the animals then to run up some stairs and save a few squirrels from extinction. He was in and immediately called up a personal trainer. Game day came and the K-Dawg® was ready to save a squirrel from extinction. Climbing the Tower in just under 15 minutes was a huge accomplishment in the eyes of the K-Dawg®, and he would go on to save another squirrel. "Eat your Heart out Richard Simmons !"
Dukey Fruit at 21 still hasn't realized that he must mature at some age. Funnel in one hand and a Moosehead in the other are a dead give away. "Don't ever grow up Dukey !" Left side of the photo, is pre teen Puddin. He is in his observing stage and the inner beast is only a sixer of OV away ! "Watch out, he is coming for you or your beer"
Blink Fans know this. The ticket to chicks and fame is to do something outrageous and gain total respect. That is exactly what Boss and K-Dawg® did. If you know Blink 182 then you will know this is straight out of the "First Date" video. The day of the concert was filled with endless feeds of popularity and respect. Girls were showering us with kisses and wanted to get their picture with Look a like celebrities. If you want to get girls and respect, this is an avenue you must consider.
We had to go to great lenghts to dig up this incriminating photo. The year was 2000, the time was the Boss' birthday. The girl was some party favour we hired to show the Boss a good time. And that is what she did. She had more tricks in her bag than David Copperfield and more to show than a showcase showdown. The night was filled with handcuffs, presents, song and dance and other things that go on with party favours. Boss seems to be at his mercy, but you are sadly mistaken. The Boss had tricks of his own. Houdini !!
This pair of clown shoes is one piece of work. His day job consists of injecting laughter into the kids that visit the corporate mogul, McDonalds. When he is not entertaining the pre teens, he is at home with the boys smoking the Mc Philly Blunt. This is his chance to get away from the harsh reality that his job sucks. He strives for respect but I mean look at the guy. He wears tights, a red wig and has make up on. Can anyone really take this guy seriously ? So his escape brings out his friends like Mable the sheep and other objects that lay before him. He has to make the green so he can afford to smoke the green. "Kids show this clown some respect and kick him in the junk"
Bet you can't eat just one... out of K-Dawg's AssIt was a hot Day in August and the Annual Beav Weekend was well in effect. This was K's first appearance to such an exclusive event and he needed to bring all that is Beav. He smashed many beers and passed out with the Sun's UV beatin down on his Canadian back bacon. Andy decided to add some dip to his chip and raise the bar for the Lays Challenge. Get your hot Ass Chips here, Yummmay !!
When you are rocking the beach scene you need to think, Safety First. Even though we look ridiculous we are safe and that is what's important. We had to bust out the baywatch rescue technique to save some pre teens from a near death experience. Everyone around to witness the event was in awe at the sight of the Boss's incredible package. The Boss was beat with the respect stick all day so know that ! Girls and Guys were like, "Break me off a piece of that KitKat bar."
A little town by the name of Haliburton houses some of the world's most profound mullets. This little Bar called the Beak or the Northwood is an excellent environment which has ideal migrating conditions for thriving mullets. With the 80's rock music, the Miller High life, the attractive Fullets, and the party all night long attitude how could one mullet resist. "If you have a 10 90, and you want it to be healthy and full bodied then this location is for you."
Ah yes the Cooking segment of the show. Grab your stirring sticks and your aprins, cause it's time to Cook with K-Dawg®. The Duke and The K-Dawg decide to prepare a hearty breakfast after an endless night of drinking. Mmmmm smell that down home cooking a brewing. A dozen eggies, a pound of bacon, a half a loaf of bread, a litre of milk, and some girls to accompany us are the ingredients in a hungry man's breakfast. A man that can cook a meal will have no trouble getting in the women's panties.
You may be quetioning the actions of one Shameless K-Dawg, and I answer. The move I am pulling off here is referred to as a "Pressed Ham". The butt cheeks point in the direction of the audience and the source is left with a face of achievement. In this particular picture the K-Dawg® executes a pressed ham to the traffic as they drive north up Bay street in downtown Toronto. Cunning acts of Tom Foolery always deserves respect. 7.5 for the execution and 9 for the risk factor in the location.
This may be an unusual for the common man, but Zedge is anything but conventional. His actions are both bizarre and hilarious and he usually knows how to entertain a crowd. Just give the man an acoustic guitar and a case of beer and he will give you a nude show on top of a fridge any day of the week. SSR welcomes Zedge to the SSR Antics Hall of Fame. This man has an abundance of funnies in his trick bag so expect his presence in the future of SSR entertainment. Keep up the comedy Zedge !
Nobody like the comfort of fresh air caressing his balls more than the K-dawg®. With his pants down around his ankles, there is no room for shame. Apparently there are pictures circulating in the greater Alliston region of the actual shot of the cock nuts. Nakedness is a form of bravery and the smaller your nuts are the braver you are. This can either be viewed as a form of disrespect or respect. It depends on what angle you look at it from. "Oops Drunkeness has it's ups and downs" This is a definite down.
Now this was an amazing escape. The legend of an extraordinary lawn tractor was brewing in Alliston and this intrigued the K-Dawg®. This piece of machinery was in lock down at the mortensen residence and it was the K-Dawg's duty to break this tractor out. With elaborate plans and access to schematic diagrams, he managed to bust in undetected. He quickly fired up the tractor and make a getaway for the hills in hopes for freedom. Theft can be a common form of repect if you are in the mob or a gang. So punk on!
The Lock Down Shed 0, K-Dawg® 1
"Your free lawn tractor, out of my way Ernie!"
A competitive match of Fooseball emerges and you can see the fatigue is setting in on Simmons. The K-Dawg® seems strong, agile, and ready to beat Simmons at another round of Foose. After repeated loses, Simmons starts to get hot about it and begins throwing interjections into the passing air. Beating the pulp out of someone in a game is respect, because I mean you beat the poop out of them. "Sorry Simmons I told you I would beat you senseless but you just wouldn't listen"
"Ok Simmons, put down the Fooseball table"
"Bows Knows Windows"Adam from the A team knows antics and the cuts and scraps are the proof. When you put this kid in front of sambuca, a bouncer on a power trip, and a glass window, there are bound to be consequences and repercussions. His hired muscle can be used in many forms. I was told that he ran down an entire city block with a 70 pound newspaper stand and used it as a battering ram to mow down vulnerable signs in a single bound. He also scaled a 50ft stack of barrells with his bare hands in the ice and snow. Most recently he introduced his elbow to a 2 inch thick window pane just because it looked at him funny. Some might think that this man is a ninja. Fact: he is a mammal, he fights all the time, and he flips out and kills people. Respect this 200+ pound mug or he will step into a big jim sandwich and go cold cut combo on your ass.