The 7 Days of FUN

Memoirs of Andrew J. L. Adams’ 22nd Birthday

Day 1: The Birthday Boy’s new groove

The start of a week full of festivities began on Wednesday Oct. 16 2003. Party commenced at 10 in the pm. The party was found to be located on 157 King St. Just a small gathering consisting of Mike, Stevo, Andy, a few of the roomies and the K-Dawg, we began to get the party started. Many drinks and a run to Sobey’s for nachos were the essential ingredients of a good time. We also hit the Cluckbuster for a flick, titled The Emperors New Groove. With chuckles and debauchery, we were well on our way to making a great night out of it. Then the crew of Stevo, Mike, and Andy introduce the K-dawg in a jackass game of Nutwhacker. Direct shots to the junk were the rewarding and satisfying feel of accomplishment in this courageous game. The match lasted about an hour or so then we felt it was sufficient to end the battle, as we were bleeding and swollen from the whole ordeal.

Day 2: Texas sent us a fine Mickey of rye and a Ribbit full of Rainblo

Round two began without hesitation on Friday night at the Lester St. crib. Starting the night off with a Roast from Chef Cameron and some spuds from the greater parts of Idaho, were the foundation of a hearty feast and a party with a point of no return. The cake arrived a few hours later but there was a lack of one naked cara popping out of it. Oh well the parcel from Baskin Robins, was scrumptious never the less. Time passes and everything is pretty tame until Mickey from Texas paid a visit to the party. Everyone welcomed him with open arms. The K-Dawg arrives with a Ribbit and the intention to give the party a zesty taste. With all hands on the pump, we hit the C.C. from all angles. The sex tv provided us with plenty of comic relief as K-Dawg devoured some of the roast with the most. Finally it was time to put some activities into the agenda of the evening. Presenting Andy with a time old tradition, we brought out a Ribbit pinyata stuffed with 5lbs of tootsie this and rainblo that. It took the amazing golf ball whacker guy several swings to expose the tasty treats onto the floor. Like kids in a candy store we all circled around and grabbed hand over fist at the tiny packages of goodness. With more than enough alcohol in our systems, we did what any party would do, and that was throw candy. This was a war between Charlie and the chocolate vs the umpa lumpas. The K-Dawg was the main target in this raging war of bon bons. Being pelted in the face and eyes with kibblets, remote controls, turkey, water bottles, bananas, and rainblo, he survived the chaos without much injury. More Nutcracker proceeded as the night went on and that left people with lumps and swollen members but extensive amounts of alcohol acted like a pain killer for the most part. We finished the Texas Mickey in 7 hrs 43 mins amongst a team of 7 willing patrons. After the dust cleared we were left with not much but turkey, chit chat, a floor covered in rainblo, and a memory of a life time.

Day 3: You hit us right in the G-Spot, Thanks Toronto

The morning was a sticky situation. Trying to maneuver around the house was difficult as for the barrage of Rainblo, soda, chip bags, banana peels and body parts of Ribbit. After a clean up and several glasses of water, the gang of Andy, Kristen, Jeff, and K-Dawg were heading to Mel’s to get their grub on. Recollection from the night’s highlights brought one juicy story, which was humorous beyond belief. Andy was describing one of the things that happened when he went bump in the night. Coming down the stairs for some H2O, he enters the kitchen to a “Buckaw” and grabs a 4L bottle of water from the co co co cooler. Proceeds upstairs in drunken form and hits the bed with water in hand. Sipping from the bottle baby style he passes out and the entire contents of the bottle spill out onto the sheets leaving Andy in a lagoon of high quality H2O. The breakfast was a greasy good time and we thoroughly enjoyed the meal by Mel. After packing the gills, we all parted our separate ways. It was time to head out with Andy and K-Dawg rocking the road of life in the 1990 probe like no other. Men on a Mission we were, with one thing in mind, to have a good time and get drunk. We were in the Big Smoke in the wink of an eye and ready to do the Damn thang. Toronto was brewing with bad karma from there on in. The Karma tank was on empty and the K-Dawg was doing everything in his power to fill it up and keep it out of the red. We hit the shopping district and witnessed a girl who was puking on the street that looked like a play-doh factory squishing out shapes in cylinder form. Hitting the hot tub and the pool after a day on Queen street, was what we needed to relax and to get us clean for a night out on the town. We hit the pub style of O’Gradys for some finger licking good chicken and drinks. After two pitchers of moo seahead and some food for thought, Andy and K-Dawg brought out a bag of toys. Keeping everyone entertained we rocked the kazba with our usual shenanigans. We left with both of us in the bag. So we decided to do the Richmond St club scene. G-Spot was the location in which everyone agreed to so that was what we did. Getting jiggy wit it at the club made for a long night with a meat market vibe. Everyone got their groove back just like stella did and everyone appeared to be having a good time. The night winded down and we all vacated the club without any greasy meat from the market. Cabbing it back to the penthouse suite, we indulged in some cake pie and ice cream and hit the hay without much delay.

Day 4: The Martino’s run a muck in the Monogolian Grill

The week is starting to become awfully fuzzy as our consecutive days of alcohol consumption, were taking a toll on us. Anyway, it’s Monday night and we are found in our typical environment at The Mongolian Grill getting our drink on. Many people perceive the glass to be half full, others say the glass is half empty, here at Mongolian grill we like our glasses empty, period. That is what we did. Connecting a chain of tables together to construct a medieval style feast where everyone gathers from far and wide to gorge on the juices of the heavens, made for an entertaining night. The original six were lacking a single player, but we made a fine substitution from the bench. Steph Bell and her accomplice were put into the rotation for the evening and made an excellent contribution to getting the birthday boy inebriated. The hours pasted and we explored undiscovered territory and drinks from the cute bartender that was working this evening. Kristen and Andy decide to roll up napkin balls and fire them across the table like a scene out of saving ryan’s privates. Some of the team players reached a level of fatigue and insisted that they head home for a night of 20 winks, while the superstars maintained a level of debauchery and stuck it out to the end. Having been the first time we closed the Monogolian Grill, we felt it was a personal best for the martino’s. Staggering out of the Grill, we had a rumbly in our tummy so the tradition is to get a slice or two from the pizza joint up the street. Stuffing the gills and packing the furnace is required after a night of martinis so know that. This being said, I think we can all agree that these events are all great additions to the book.

Day 5: Hot Hunnies, Hot toddies, and Hot tubs – The Three H’s

The last day of a five star week, ended with a bang on Wednesday night. The K-dawg brews the final stew with tasty treats and a cauldron made for 4. Rounding up the troops for the final night started at 10. The probe was destined for 413 Stillmeadow dr. With rye in one hand and Speedo’s in the other, we were set to get the party started. Entering the house of Racho and Angela, we noticed that we weren’t the only ones there. Surrounded by a bachelor party we quickly started with drinks. The hosts were fully in the bag and were looking good like food in their bomber fatigues. The K-Dawg was encouraged to drink a 50 – 50 mix of rye and root beer, and he slapped the challenge in the face. This struck the K-Dawg with the drunk stick leaving Andy in a coherent state. We packed all the beautiful babies into the probe and headed off to the bomber for some shelter. With no line up for the bomber, we walked in like we owned the place. The bar was calling our name and we hit it with shots and doubles to get our feathers ruffled. Retro 80’s, some hip hop and some other mad notes filled the atmosphere with a “get your freak on vibe. Aside from the Adams birthday bonanza, the K-Dawg was called in for a little twin and twin birthday body shot action. Now back to funk and the noise. We closed the bomber again and headed home for some cake with some delicious icing on top. Chef Racho popped some Ontario chicken into the oven and we all got out our swim trunks and headed for the hot tub. Chilling in the hot tub was the icing on the delicious cake. We couldn’t get enough of the hot zesty stuff. With fine women in bikinis and Andy and K-Dawg with grins from ear to ear, we couldn’t have finished off the week with more bang than this. Bikini’s - $80, Ontario chicken - $10, the look on Andy’s face – PRICELESS. For that Racho and Angela we salute you, Shaaawing. Now with a nice plate of Ontario chicken and some spuds from Idaho, we all filled the hunger gap and headed home with the memories of an exceptional week.

Hope you Had an off the hook Birthday, ANDY

Konan “the party commissioner” Wendt