ThE oFFiciAL GuiDe To pOOoooo >_<
GOOEY POOEY: This has the consistency of tar, You wipe 12 times and you still don't come clean. In fact, you couldn't get it clean with gasoline on a rag.
POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POO: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
WEIGHT WATCHERS: You poo so much that you lose several kilograms.
RIGHT NOW POO: You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting there. Usually it has it's head out before you can get your pants off.
KING KONG aka COMMODE CHOKER POO: This one is so big that you know it won't go down the pan unless you break it up into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of poo usually happens at somebody else's house. WET CHEEKS POO: This poo hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets you all wet.
WISH POO: You sit there all cramped up and fart a coupe of times, but no poo.
CEMENT BLOCK POO: (usually with extra blue metal). You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you pooed.
SNAKE POO: This poo is fairly soft in texture, about as thick as your thumb and at least 3 feet long.
BEER, DRUNK AND MEET PIE POO: This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell too bad, but this one is B.A.D. Usually this onehappens at somebody else's home and there is someone standing outside waiting to use the toilet.
INDIAN FOOD POO aka SCREAMERS: You know it's alright to eat again when your bum stops burning.
THE CHINESE POO: Half an hour after having one you need to go again.
THE EXPLOSIVE POO: It takes special preparation for this poo, usually a combination of beans, potatoes, and bran. It blasts out like a flame thrower, and leaves a spray about the toilet bowl.
CLEAN POO: The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but there's
no poo on the toilet paper.CROWD PLEASER POO: This poo is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.