In-game Quotes

Konar: The only good elf is an elf married to a dwarf

Jom: I hate Elves- I mean Dwarves!

Konar: Pelor? What kind of a dumb ass name is that?

Konar: What do you know about the thefts?
DM: There haven’t been any deaths
Konar: I said thefts
DM: Oh.. of course

DM: Ok, you're at the gem store
Serenla: Can I break into it?
DM: "... You can try"

Konar: I wait for a point when the guard isn't looking and try to climb up the wall
DM: He says what the hell are you doing!
Konar: I say I’m looking for cracks...just to make sure it wont collapse cause there was a lightning storm earlier. 
I got hit by lightning" (referring to a punishment by pelor)
DM: He walks over and pushes a button on the wall
Konar: I run

Konar: I take a nap.
DM: Where?
Konar: In the middle of the street.
Serenla: If I find you dead I'm going to laugh.

DM: Pat it's your turn
Konar: I'm still sleeping
DM: You wake up in a jail cell, Jesse you're turn.
Konar: Wait-- What?

Jom: Have you seen any dwarves around?
DM (guard): We arrested one earlier
Jom: Where is he?
DM: ...in....jail...?

Konar: I ask isn’t it customary to have a trial first?
Guard: Uh.. no
Konar: I ask is the mayor there I want to speak with him
Guard: He's at the mayor's office
Konar: Could you please bring him here?
Guard: The mayor will not take time out of his day to conflict with convicts
Konar: Well, can I talk with someone with the power to get me out of here?
Guard: No! Why don't you take a nap and eat your glop.
Konar: Cause I don’t like glop. Oh, your a guard have you seen this woman?
DM: He takes the picture and tears it up
Konar: You...Guard!
Serenla: How many more pictures does he have?

Serenla: What the hell did you do this time, to get in jail?
Konar: I tried to get into the civilian area without permission
Serenla: Why
Konar: I just wanted to ask a few people if they had seen my wife, is that a crime
DM: Well apparently, since you’re in jail...

Jom: Could you let one of my friends out of jail?
Mayor: What’s he in jail for
Jom: He tried to break into the civilian area looking for his wife
Mayor: Does his wife live in the civilian area?
Jom: No, she’s missing
Mayor: And why would he think she's in the civilian area?
Jom: He's Crazy; he’s gone crazy with grief
Konar: It happens to the best of us

DM (Mayor): If you play a song for us we'll lower the bail to....
Pat (imprisoned): 10 gold
DM: 30 gold, just because Pat said that
Serenla and Jom: Argh!

Party Questioning Suspicious Drows about Thieveries
Konar: Do you know anything about the gems that have recently been stolen?
Drows: They've been stolen...
Konar: Do you know anything more then anyone else?
Drows: Of course not... how would we?
Konar: Just asking around
Serenla: Have you heard of the caravan up north?
Drows: It’s been highjacked
Serenla: Do you know if there were any survivors?
Drows: How would we know?
Konar: Because your drows.
Drows: And...?
Konar: Uhhh... your smart?
Drows: We're smart not psychic.

Konar: Why do I have to tell him that you gave me gold?
Serenla: Because he'll give you a discount because you're a dwarf
Konar: How do you know about the discount?
Serenla: Oops

DM: Sure ill give you a discount, off 10 gold. I'll give it to you for....
Konar: Free?
DM: heh heh funny

Konar: In the other tavern I can get a room for 10 gold, why should I stay here?
Bartender: Since when did they change it from 20 to 10?
Konar: Well... That’s what he told me
Bartender: I guess you're not interested in the discount then?
Konar: Excuse me a moment...

Konar: Do I have a safe sleep?
DM: You dream all night of your wife and son being tortured and mauled and maimed by unspeakable fiends from 
the bowels of hell
Konar: Yes but do I have a safe sleep
DM: If you call having dream like that safe....

Konar: I wake up my sidekicks and I ask them to go

Konar: "I drink the potion"

Jom: I get up and get dressed
DM: You're naked?
Jom: No! I get ready for the day
Serenla (chanting): I'm a married spud, I'm a married spud...

Konar: Well its cold out!

Konar: Oh yeah say my name!

Jom: It broke!
DM: Whoa guys, this is going on tape
*laughter*

DM: You get to the city limits
Konar: Are there any clues
DM: ... It's a big road.. Out of town

Konar (to bartender): Would you like anyone... killed for 25 gold?
DM: The bartender pulls a little string above the counter
Konar: I run
DM (to Serenla and Jom): You see Konar flee from the tavern
*Laughter between Serenla and Jom*

Pat: Is he Dead?
DM: I'm not telling you
Pat: I check his pulse (a vampire)

Pat: I say, "Hello, what’s your name"
DM: To the mountain?

Pat: Go-- what’s my name? Go Oskar! Go Oskar!

Pat: Mr. Lich can I have head

Jesse: I'll pay a certain amount
DM: A shirt and a mount?

Jesse: I give Jom the Bastard Sword
Crystal: I don’t want it
Jesse: To Bad!

Pat: Why didn’t you do the cloak thing?
Crystal: He's blind

DM: You are the metagaming King. All other metagamers bow down to you as their leader! All hail the 
metagaming king!

DM: A paladin of Cupid. Avast you evil foe, I shall smite you with my happy goodness! Behold the Candy Cane 
of Doom! I smite you!

Oskar: I pour the potion on the acid.
DM: Uh... the acid gets... sleepy?

Famous Last Words

Konar: I drink the potion
Pat: I kiss her
Kraig (the drow): Where’d the Wood Elves go?
Orlack (the half-orc): Ugg…. UGG!
Thorn: Fricky… Dicky… Drow…
Wilf: AHHH IT BURNS!
Pat: Kord? Sounds like a stupid god to me.

Famous should have been last words 

Oskar: I touch the silver floating orb
Jom: I draw the sword
Serenla: Can I break into it?
(Said by many people): I disbelieve in the bad guy and walk through them…
Unknown: He raised how many elementals?