Jokes
Sam:
"My little brother thinks he's a chicken!"
Doctor: "How long has this been going on?"
Sam: "For six years."
Doctor: "Why did you wait so long to come for help?"
Sam: "We needed eggs!"
A boy who desperately wanted eyeglasses tried to convice
his mother how necessary they were.
"Really," she said. "What color
is this paper?"
The boy squanted his eyes and
said, "Green and purple."
"Correct," his mother said.
"But, Mom," he cried, "can't
you see it's white?"
A geography teacher asked Adam to find
the Atlantic Ocean on the world map
A few minutes passed, but no answer. Adam was still
touching the map everywhere.
The teacher asked, "Why are you touching the map everywhere?"
I'm looking for a wet spot where there should be an
ocean!"
Teacher: "Harly, please give me
the definition of climate."
Harly: "That's what a kid does when he sees
a tree (climb it)."
Teacher: "Bill, go to
the map and find North America"
Bill: "Here it is."
Teacher: "Good. Class, who discovered North America?
Class: "Bill!"
Question:
How can you tell what end of the worm is its head?
Answer: You tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Teacher: "Lisa, when was
the Great Depression?"
Lisa: "Last week when I got my report card!"
Nika: "School is so confusing!"
Dad: "Why?"
Nika: "Mrs. Peterson said, 'one plus nine equals ten, two plus eight
equals ten, three plus seven equals ten, and six plus four equals ten'"
Dad: "So?"
Nika: "She won't make up her mind!"
Question: Why did Beethoven
get rid of his chicken?
Answer: Because it cept saying, "Bach, Bach,
Bach!"
Amber: "Don't you think it is amazing
how chickens hatch out of their eggs?"
Amy: "Yes, but I think it is more amazing how they get in!"
Diner: "What is this fly doing in
my ice-cream?"
Waiter: "I believe it's downhill skiing, sir."
Teacher: "If you had
fifty cents in one pocket and you asked your dad for another fifty cents,
how much would you have?"
David: "Fifty cents."
Teacher: "You forgot to add the money from
your dad."
David: "You obviously don't know my dad!"
Wall One: "Oh, Frederic, what came between
us?"
Wall Two: "A room."
Teacher: "You should have been here at eight
o'clock!"
Student: "Why? Waht happened?"
Cindy: "What did the
judge say to the dentist?"
Bob: "I don't know."
Cindy: "Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing
but the tooth?"
Teacher: "Andrew, name two pronouns."
Andrew: "Who, me?"
Teacher: "Thant's correct."
Greta: "My mom says that I'm the one who gets
to choose my clothes this year."
Regreta : "Oh, really? My dog's the one who chews mine!"
Kelly: "If a rooster laid an egg on the roof
of a barn, which way would it roll?"
Austin: "Which way?"
Kelly: "Neither. Roosters don't lay eggs."
Wife: "I've saved enough money for us to go
across the country this summer."
Husband: "That's wonderful. When are we going?"
Wife: "As soon as we save enough money to get back."
Composer: "It took me ten years to write this
lullibay."
Publisher: "Why did it take so long?"
Composer: "It kept putting me to sleep."
Lou: "Why are you crying?"
Lee: "My flute is broken."
Lou: "How do you know?"
Lee: "It has holes in it."
Patient: "Doctor, I was playing my harmonica
when I suddenly swallowed it!"
Doctor: "Well, look at the bright side. You could have been playing
a piano."
Come later for more jokes!
Thank you!
