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About that Kiss
by Aelyva
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Author Note: The answer to the one hour challenge fic on the
sinbad/bryn list. It's set right after the Stalkers
and it's in Bryn's POV.
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I am sitting in my cabin, alone, on my bed. I feel the
waves rocking the ship gently, but I don't take notice
of it. I only have one thing in my mind. One thing
that has been there since we left the town. Sinbad
kissed me. If I close my eyes, I can sill see him, the
look in his blue eyes before. I can still feel his
lips warm against mine, his tongue touching mine. I
can still feel his hands holding me, burning me,
making me feel like I'm on fire. It felt so good. I
wanted this moment to last forever.
For luck, he said. What it really just for luck? My
heart wants to say no. It wants to say that it's
because he wanted to, for so long. I so much want to
believe it. But my head tells me it really was only
for luck. But if he kissed me, it must be because he
wanted to? Did he wanted to kiss Bryn or the woman? I
don't know.
It's the reason why I stay alone in my cabin. Not so
long after he kissed me, he was already kissing
another one, right in front of me. Does he think that
I'm insensible? That I wouldn't care? That I don't
care? I do. My heart is still aching. This isn't the
first time it happened. Everytime, a part of my heart
would break. Every smile he shared with another, every
kiss, every soft words, he would take a part of me
away. I don't know if there's still a part of my heart
left inside me. He took it all away. My heart was
already his, but he took pieces of it, not even
knowing.
But today,it broke. In thousands of pieces. Shattered.
He finally showed me some sign that he cared about
about me more than just a friend, just to destroy it a
moment after. It hurt. To watch him kiss her, maybe
more passionately than he kissed me. But I didn't cry.
I would not show him how much I hurt. Never. He would
never know how much pain it caused me.
Why? Am I not good enough for him? Am I too ugly? Too
small? I don't know why. I will probably never know.
I am cold. Why can't I be in his strong arms once
again? It felt so good to be there. I hug myself and
let a sight out. I think Doubar understood. He knew I
couldn't stand watching them.
Suddenly, I feel like crying until I'm exhausted. I
love him. Since the first time we met, I felt a little
something inside of me everytime I saw him, everytime
he would touch me. It grew into something stronger.
And I know that I'll never stop loving him. But how
will I survive seeing him with other women? A heart
can only break once, right?
I still can see him, smiling at me with that look in
his eyes. Was it all in my imagination? Was it just
some fantasy?
Biting my lips, I lay on the bed and curl myself into
a small ball. I close my eyes, trying to hold back the
tears. Sinbad. Sinbad, why did you kiss her? Unable to
control the tears anymore, I let them fall freely on
my cheeks. Damn him for making me feel this way! He
probably already forgot he even kissed me! I will
never forget. Even if I lose my memory again, I Know I
will never forget Sinbad's kiss.
Holding on to that thought, concentrate on the rocking
of the ship. My tears finally stopped to fall. I have
no more tears left in me. As I slowly drift to sleep,
I realize that I will wait for him, as long as
necessary. Maybe I should hate myself for this, but I
know I will never love another, but him. It makes me
vulnerable. I know I will hut again, but he is worth
the pain. Even if it takes a lifetime, I will wait for
the day where he would look only at me. Maybe that day
would never come, but I hang on to that hope.
It's my last thought before I fall asleep. Sleeping
will make me feel better. Because I know I'll be
dreaming about him.
*~*END*~*
Written:August 7, 2001
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