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Shadows of Destiny
by Aelyva
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Part Two ~ Gone in the Rain

Not knowing who we are…Only a dark hole. We can always feel certain things about ourselves. Feelings about certain people or places. But how to really know? Impossible to trust anyone at all…even if deep in our heart, we’d want to. Frustration. Anger. Regret. Our memory is so important to us. So it is normal to try as hard as possible to try to remember.

And what if it was best not to remember? If what we found isn’t what we thought we would find? What if we wished to never have found it? It would be too late to turn back in time…But we cannot know unless we try. We wait. We hope. If a part comes back to us, should we stop searching or keep going until everything’s back? But…can we know ourselves completely? Things will maybe stay hidden forever. Probably for the best.

~*~*~

The rest of the crew of the Nomad stared at Bryn, speechless. Never they imagined those would be the words she’d say. They all first thought she was kidding, but by the look on her face, they soon realized she was very serious, and scared as well. She just stood there, watching them with her brown-chocolate eyes, not sure what to do. They could feel she didn't trust them at all and searched in their heads what to do to make her feel more comfortable.

Finally, Sinbad decided to say something. The silence was making him nervous. "Bryn...you really don't know who we are? Just…tell me what's the last thing you remember," Sinbad asked, anxious to know the answer. What are they going to do if she doesn't remember them? Starting all over what they started one year ago? Sinbad sighed, but he knew he would do it if it was necessary. Without hesitation, he would start all over again.

"I'm...I'm not sure...I just remember my name. Bryn. That's all...The rest is just blank…and I have no clue who you are," she answered, observing them all. She noticed the sadness in the man's eyes, in everyone's eyes to be exact, but in that man, it was more, and she didn't understand it. What she knew is those people really cared for her and she immediately felt she could trust them. She had that feeling inside her...which made her feel safe. She didn’t understand where it came from, or why it was there. But she didn’t want to understand it. It was just good. She wanted to hang on to that feeling and never let go. "But...you could tell me more, so maybe I could remember something."

Sinbad looked to everyone else, and they all agreed. "Sure...so I'm Sinbad. This is Doubar, my big brother, Firouz, Rongar and Dermott. I'm the Captain of the Nomad. We met about one year ago on an island and you joined my crew. You knew nothing of your past, only your name, as now..." He stopped. He felt strange telling her those things about herself.

Doubar nodded. "You also have magic. I mean...natural magic. From the fourth elements, but you don't control them very well," Doubar added. "But I'm sure you'll control them soon!" he continued, smiling at her gently. "We don't know anything about your past...just what you knew when we met you!"

Bryn smiled back at him, shyly. "Thanks...but I still don't remember anything. I just hope I will soon." She yawned. "I'm...I'm a little bit tired...Could...you...leave me, so I could sleep?" she asked, uncomfortable. They all understood and left, saying her goodbye. Sinbad was the last one the pass the door, and she saw he wasn't sure if he had to leave or not. But he finally decided to leave, and Bryn sighed, relieved. As far as she trusted them, she had a little doubt inside of her. What if they tried to trick her so they could do...whatever they want? Maybe they were lying, how could she be sure? She really wanted hard to believe them, but...she couldn't. She just couldn't. She didn’t want to build her hopes up so that they would crash down later.

Bryn sighed and fell on the bed, her arms crossed behind her head. Maybe she had something they wanted...or maybe they wanted to use her magic to have something...Maybe she was evil, and they wanted to kill her. She shook her head, grimacing. They would already have killed her if that’s what they wanted. Bryn didn’t know what to think anymore. Their faces were honest and they seemed to truly care about her. How could she find out who they really were and what were their intentions?

After thinking more than an hour, she found nothing, only that she wanted to have her memories back as soon as possible. This situation was driving her crazy! So she decided to try to sleep. 'Everything will be fine tomorrow', she thought, and she fell immediately asleep, this thought in her mind.

~*~*~

The next morning, a soft rain was falling on the little village, and the sun decided to hide for the rest of the day. Everyone seemed depressed and sullen. The crew was sitting at a table of the inn, feeling as depressed as everyone else. They didn’t have anything else to do. It wasn’t possible to leave the town because of the weather condition.. Neither of them talked, and they kept their eyes down. They didn't know if they were feeling down because of the rain, or because Bryn seemed hostile to them. She didn't talk to them, nor look at them, and no one understood why. Yesterday, she seemed to trust them, but now...

Sinbad felt more than sad inside of him. He felt anger against himself, pain, despair...and even more. Loneliness. He had time during the day to analyze all of his feelings, and he still didn't understand. He just didn't want to admit the true. He tried to hide it, but it was still there. He always tried to hide it, every time in his life.

He got up of his chair, and got out of the inn, without saying any word to his friends. Without even noticing the rain, he began to walk to the forest. All those nightmares about Lea, Maeve, Dim Dim, Talia, his parents, his friends and now Bryn drove him crazy. He thought only about them and wondered why he kept having those dreams. He believed all dreams have a meaning...Every nights, those dreams came haunting him since Bryn had her accident, and he didn't see why. Why now and why not before? And mostly, why because of that? He for sure did horrible things since one year now, and he never had dreams about everyone he killed, everyone’s heart he broke...

The rain still fell on him, and all his clothes he was soaking wet but he didn't mind. He didn’t noticed. He even didn't though of returning to the village. He just wanted to walk and walk far away from everything. Just walking straight ahead, without a look back. So he walked for hours under the cold rain in the dark and never-ending forest, not knowing where he was going. Not that he cared. When the night fell, he was still walking in the forest, but he had no longer enough energy to walk, so he sat on the wet ground, near a tree. What sense had his life now? He had become a monster since one year now...He didn't understand why his crew was still loyal to him after all he did. He sighed. Why was he feeling so...sad and so depressed? It wasn't him at all.

~*~*~

He was back on that same cliff, still looking down, as if he wanted to jump. This time, Lea and Maeve were next to him, one on each side. They were smiling at him, but the smile was cold, unhappy. "Why?" he simply asked, as he looked at the furious sea, ravaging the rocks with its cruel waves.

"Why? You ask why?" Lea shouted, gripping his wrists painfully. "Sinbad, you can have all the women of this world. But you didn't really care about us, you didn't care about any of those women. But WE cared. We loved you! I loved you so much, Sinbad...You were my childhood best friend and my first love…and you just let me die…You let me die. And now you don't ever think about me! Like I was totally gone..." She held her tears and breathed. She let go of his wrists and hugged herself. "You know, we continue to live in a way because of the people's thoughts about us. If no one think about us, we disappeared. You're the only one alive who knew me, and you don't think about me enough to keep me alive! Is it too much to ask?" She screamed, anger filling in her. She suddenly turned back and walked away.

Maeve nodded. "The dead people live in another dimension, where they can start a new kind of live. The only thing that kept them here is thoughts. When no one love them, they die...It's happening to Lea currently. You let her die once, Sinbad. Don't let her die twice."

"Don't let her twice, don't let her die twice, twice, twice...." the echo repeated.

~*~*~

Sinbad woke up in a start. He looked around him, disorientated. The forest. He wasn’t in a bed, but on the ground, leaned against a tree. His back hurt, as well as every other part of his body. He yawned and was about to get up when it came back to him. He remembered his dream and Maeve's word. He didn't understand. He was still thinking of Lea a lot. Well, maybe not as much as before since one year, but still...If this time he could save her, he would. Yes, he would.

He then decided to return to the village. The others must be worried now. He just had made a few steps when his rainbow bracelet began to shine. He started at it, and after a moment, he began to run. If something happened to Bryn....

Running made him feel a little better, and his bracelet soon stopped to shine, so he decided to slow down. He was half way when he recognized his brother who was walking to him. He smiled and waved his hand. "Hey, Doubar! What are you doing here?" he asked, innocently.

"Sinbad! Thank Allah you're here! You worried us much, you know...What were you thinking? Going away like that, without telling us...Where did you go and what were you doing under that rain?" Doubar asked, in his big brother tone of voice he used to reprimand his younger brother. He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He was too happy to see his brother. "You could’ve catch a cold."

"I just needed some time to think, that's all," he answered, giving a comforting smile to his brother. "You don’t have to worry about me all the time, Doubar. I can take care of myself," he said to his brother softly.

Doubar sighed. "I know. But…you’re the only family I have left and I just don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you." He hoped he didn’t sound too pathetic. And it didn’t matter if Sinbad could take care of himself and if he was a man, he was still his little brother in Doubar’s eyes. He would always be.

Sinbad put a reassuring arm around his brother’s neck. "Nothing’s going to happen to me. I intend to stay in the living world for at least another couple of years, you with me." He smiled when he saw that his words seemed to have calmed down Doubar. He then frowned. "Tell me...did something happen to Bryn? Because my bracelet shone..." He watched Doubar's expression, and was relieved to see his smile.

"She just fainted, but she's now resting in her room. Come on, let's get back to the village. I'm sure you're hungry!" Doubar declared, laughing. They walked back to the village silently, listening to the peaceful sound of the leaves moving at the wind’s rhythm. Awhile after, they arrived in the village and found Firouz, waiting for them. He seemed nervous, scared and...terrified.

"You're back! Finally! Bryn's gone! They took her. Rongar and I tried to stop them, but they were too strong! I don't know what they want to do, or who they are! What are we going to do?" Firouz cried, almost hysterical.

Rongar came behind him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He didn't understand either what happened. Firouz and he were playing cards in the room next to Bryn when they heard noise, and voices. It wasn't Bryn's, so they decided to check it out, and they saw five men, all in black, taking her away, by the window. When he tried to stop them, one of them zapped them, and the second after, they disappeared.

"Firouz, calm down...I'm sure we'll find her. She can't be too far. Just tell us what exactly happened," Doubar calmly asked, taking the control of the situation, seeing that Sinbad was too affected to say anything. After listening to Firouz's story, Doubar decided to talk to the owner of the inn. Maybe he knew something...

The inn's owner was an old man, who lived alone in his house. He listened carefully at Doubar and Firouz's story and the memory of what his parents once told them got back to him. He looked up at the crew. "They were all in black, huh? They were probably men from the army of Karpan. He's a powerful magician, living at the opposite side of this island. But I don't know why he would kidnap your young friend. He had been very quiet over the past years. No one had heard of him since years."

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Bryn moaned and opened her eyes, only to see darkness. She closed them, wishing that when she will open them again, the darkness will be gone. But it didn't. She didn't even see a little piece of light. She put her cold hands on her forehead. Slowly, she regained full consciousness. Where was she? She laid on her back, on something soft...and sliding. When she tried to bend her leg to the top, her feet slid immediately to its original position. Bryn lifted up her other leg, without bending her knee this time, till her feet touched something, like a wall above her. That wall seemed hard. In wood maybe. She pushed it with her feet, but the wall didn't move. Bryn pushed again with all the energy she got. Nothing. She touched it with her hands and she could swore it was wood.

Where was she? What was she doing in that darkness? She couldn't remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was...Sinbad leaving the inn...What happened next? She didn't have an answer. She sighed and continued her exploration. She didn't have much space between her and the wall next to her. Not very much space...impossible to get out...not much air...Immediately, Bryn's breath got faster. 'Calm down, calm down, Bryn. You must find where you are, and then, you'll think of something,' she said to herself, trying to slow her breath.

Where was she? What the hell happened? She tried to remember...Sinbad left. After, Doubar and Firouz continued to talk, but she wasn't listening...After a while, she suddenly felt strange inside...She fainted! She woke up in her bed...and there were those strange guys all in black. They knocked her on the head...and when she woke up, only darkness welcomed her. Her head was aching like hell and she breathed hardly. Her hands began to search in hope to find the way out, just so she could breathe as usual. It was so small, so dark and so restricted. Bryn knew she was beginning to be hysterical. She wasn't controlling her breath and her lungs were about to explode. If only she knew where she was...

She sighed and tried to control her breath. Then, she started to kick the wall above her. Nothing moved, so she tried to kick all the walls around her, as hard as she could, again and again, but neither moved a bit. She lay in a long and restricted box, completely closed and she just knew one thing. She needed to breathe. There must be a way out. There's always a solution to every problems! She tried to get up, but her head hit the wall. She cried in pain.

Isn’t there someone who would come and save her? If only she didn't acted hostile with Sinbad and his friends...but...what if it was them, the men who knocked her off and brought her in that place? 'No, it's not them. It can't be them.' Suddenly, her mind showed her a picture of her, on a ship, with Sinbad, Doubar, Firouz, Rongar and Dermott around her. They were all smiled, even herself. "It...it can only be a flashback. That means...that means there weren't lying. It wasn't them! But who was it? And where the hell I am?" she screamed the last words, but no one answered.

So, she was in a box. A long and restricted box, with something soft, which seemed like satin to her. It was made of wood, it was small...If she entered in that thing, it's because there was a way out somewhere. Maybe it was locked. She opened her eyes wide. It couldn't be...no...the first image that came to her mind was....a coffin...

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First written: October 9, 1999
Revised: April 17, 2001