Metopia: The (Second) Year In Review

Ladies, gentlemen, and gay guys (Jarrod)!! On this day, August 17, 2004, we've made it another year! It's been a year of ups, (Jim Won'tis setting the high jump world record) downs (Metopia is conquered by A Jar of Apple Butter for a while) and really-really-downs (Jarrod was around.) But now of course Metopia is back to normal, Jarrod is gone, hopefully forever, and Won'tis still has his record. So everything is great! Let's take a look at the year that was.


August 2003

  • Vyborny writes the first Year In Review. See it!
  • Popular Fort Defiance runner Robby "Dogs and Bees" Corbett decides he is sick of Jarrod sending poetry to his girlfriend. So Robby takes pictures of himself, Hayley James, Polly Arey, and Draft guy Brad O'Neil flipping the bird and has them posted in the Metopian Picayune. Jarrod does not even realize that Brad helped set this up because he hates Jarrod. What a fucking idiot. See it!
  • Jarrod sees the message, and acts pissy.
  • Jarrod's attempts to get revenge in a similar way fail because no one likes him enough to pose in a picture with him. What a tool.
  • The Metopian track team runs at the World Championships, eight medals total are won by seven athletes: Jim Won'tis (1st high jump), Intangir (1st 110m hurdles, 2nd 100m), An Addax (1st 50K race walk), Horst Hash (2nd 200m), An Clinton (2nd 400m hurdles), George Addax (3rd 400m hurdles), and Bard Nilsson (3rd 1500m) See it!


    September

  • Surely the most interesting month, a series of strange events took place over the first week.
  • On September 1, Sir Salty Sam declares that slackers are heretics, and launches a campaign against the Bohemian Knights that never do anything, and Jarrod because he's gay. See it!
  • Jarrod sees this and act pissy. (Again.)
  • Then on September 2, the evil A Jar of Apple Butter dethrones Schottenfroida, ousts the Knights of Bohemia, and conquers Metopia. Metopia is renamed Isanad and A Jar of Apple Butter is it's Emperor. See it!
  • Bohemian Knight MacBastard (The Plaid) dies of unnatural causes.
  • The Metopian underground begins a war against the evil A Jar of Apple Butter. The Returners make much progress but cannot find the A Jar of Apple Butter in order to assassinate him and restore "order."
  • The Metopians/Isanadians begin an obsession with Spear Toss. Records fall rapidly and are held by quite a few people, but in the end interests flags. See it!


    October

  • On the 2nd, Metopian Returners capture the evil A Jar of Apple Butter. He is eaten, and Metopia returns to normal. Unfortunately, Jarrod was there. And he probably acted pissy because that's all the little shit-eater does. What a miserable little fucker.
  • On the 3rd, Sir Salty Sam and the pirate Johnny Red discover a new island, which they name Kratopia. See it!
  • The One Day War is fought between Me- and Kra- topias. Metopia wins and Kratopia becomes a colony of Metopia.
  • The Book of Cheese signing craze dies down.
  • Hurricane Bob clicks the unremovable annoying pop-up boxes links. At school. The dancing, singing boxes cause chaos. "Miss-gala," who really doesn't seem to know much about computers, gets mad because it cannot be removed on Professional Edition without restrting. What a bitch.
  • Brad gets third at the Valley District XC race. Lich gets 14th, Brandon 17th. The team gets a heartbreaking fifth. See it!
  • Brad runs at Regions and advances, Lich runs but doesn't advance.
  • Jarrod probably acted pissy over something coz he is gay like that.


    November

  • An updates Lazyoff, the second of its kind. This means that nothing was added to the site for a very long time.
  • Brad gets 10th at states. Jarrod dies (We wish.) See it!
  • The Metopian Indoor Track meet series begins. Jim Won'tis sets a new indoor world record for the high jump of 8 feet.
  • The MAAF is founded. See it!
  • A brief obsession with OutWar.
  • Also a brief obsession (for some) with Kings of Chaos. Jarrod thinks he's good at it but he's really just a big pukeface nerd guy.


    December

  • The Metopian Football League begins play. See it!
  • Nothing else happens as the Second Updates Lazyoff continues.
  • Metopia loses to Saxony but beats Swabia in indoor track meets.


    January 2004

  • The Education Board page is added with the Empire of Metopia at Mercury City being the first school represented, followed by Stualts Dlaft Univelsity and (eventually) Metopia Tech. See it!
  • Some phrases are added to the illegal phrases list for the first time since December 2002. Not suprisingly, most of the phrases were said by Jarrod. Who got pissy. See it!
  • O'Neil fell into athlete of the week honors on LinkTrack. Funnily, as of this writing, he is still the Athlete of the "Week"
  • Kratopia declares its independence from Metopia. A highly unpublicized war begins that continues to this day.
  • O'Neil beats Mikels at two-miles, running under 10 minutes for the first time. The Infamous Inching Toward Buery incident follows.
  • First Anniversary of All Hell's Day
  • Jarrod comes out of the closet, we wish he'd go back in (not for gayness but for annoyingness)


    February 2004

  • We were going to have elections for Thanes...but didn't. Ah well.
  • The MFL playoffs begin. Kratopia beats Hiriz City, Costa Del Sol beats Midgar.
  • Brad gets double silvers in the 1600/3200 at districts behind Williams.
  • The Metopian Indoor Nationals happen. See it!
  • Brad gets 7th in the 1600 and 6th in the 3200 at states.
  • February 29 is officially declared Jen Buery Day because she is a goddess.


    March

  • First of the month, Olympic qualifiers start all 'cross the land.
  • Brad takes a two-week break from running. Holy shit!
  • Kratopia wins the MFL Stupendous Bowl but since they're jerks Costa Del Sol got the trophy.
  • SDCC (the band) blows away the SDHS Variety Show. See it!
  • Bob insults Hello Holly, meets Goodbye Holly, hates Jarrod. See it!
  • Jarrod acts pissy. (Again)
  • The Metopian Silver Addax outdoor track tour starts. See it!


    (Not Little) April

  • We gave ourselves the Totally Some Kind Of Award. We meant to hand out this award to other sites we like...but didn't. This concept fell off just like the whole Elections thing. See it!
  • Jim Won'tis sets a new World Record in the high jump of 8 feet, 0.5 inches. Not really sure what that is in metric.
  • In Late(le) April begins the Third Great Lazyoff. Like the Reichs of Germany, the third was the greatest, as this lastest well into August.


    May

  • Records fall at the Metopian Distance Festival. See it!
  • Brad wins double golds over Williams at Districts in the mile (4:26) and the two-mile (9:49) See it!
  • Meanwhile on the tennis pitch, Jarrod is pissy because he thought he'd be #2, but is #5 because he sucks. He attempts to make up for this by being smug about being on #1 doubles, but everyone knows he doesn't deserve it. Plus he's gay.
  • Brad is the last athlete standing at Draft.
  • Sir Rand pulls a Sir Freddie Mercury, by changing his name. He becomes Sir Jaralim. Apart from that not much is changed.
  • This great Lazyoff continues.


    June

  • Brad finishes 4th in the State two-mile. Then he falls apart in the mile, managing only 15th. Ah well.
  • The Class of 2004 graduates! Sirs Vyborny, Neptars, Ironhorse, Jaralim, Byrun Sexxalought, Strongkey, MacBastard, Phileas, Chulk, Igneous, Suck-It Bohemia, Bonezalot, Xanatos Blackthorn, Spatulagod, and Ladies Ryan, Rhubarb the Great, and Crimson Nyte are commenced and told to get the fuck out of here. And as for myslef (Vyborny), I do this gladly.
  • The Greatest Lazyoff continues as Brad, Willie, and Bob go to beach week. Alas, Jarrod goes as well, and acts like a whiny, self-centered, prissy, primpy, pompous, arrogant, sassy little prick. Nothing new here. What a dick. How we all do hate him so.
  • Blitzball's second season starts but is interrupted by labor disputes and the Olympics. But it will get finished. See it!
  • Willie / Neptars does a cool new logo for the MBL
  • Brad / Vyborny joins an art site. Expect nothing to come of this but the end of the art community as we know it. Many artists are arrogant so it's a wonder Jarrod isn't one.


    July

  • Blitzball stalls
  • The current Lazyoff now sets a new all-time record
  • Brad realizes that the band Bad Religion is better than most things. ESPECIALLY Jarrod. Unlike Jarrod, Bad Religion doesn't act like a little girly bitch and throw a fit when they don't get their way. Rather, they sing satirical songs about it. See it!
  • The Metopian Olympic Trials go off. See it!
  • All the qualifying rounds and such complete, the Metopian Olympic team is unveiled. See it!
  • A movie that goes straight to video is released, "SDCC Goes To Camp." While there, they get running training, Brad does unintentional volunteer work, Jessica Fanning acts really hot, Travis Lambert acts like a dick, and somewhere back home Jarrod acts pissy. Because by now he actually gets paid for it.


    August

  • By the end of the year, 11 new Knights of Bohemia joined up.
  • The record breaking Lazyoff ends as we finally start adding a lot of stuff again.
  • Hot runner babes and one hot singer babe are added to the Bohemian Knight's chapter pages for fun. Hot chicks Sarah Wade, Kate Niehaus, Ellen Dougherty, Amy Lee, Daphne Propst, Kirsten Hagen, Jessica Propst, Anne Ward, Jen Buery, and Jessica Fanning are posted in all their feminine glory.
  • The Olympics start! See it!
  • Vyborny wrote this Year in Review. See it!


    The Future

  • More Knights! (hopefully) and the dropping of a few jerk-wads, at least one of whom is Jarrod.
  • You can expect two new SDCC (the band) albums, "Filler Material (Give Us More Money)" and "Live at the Holiday Inn." We expect the band to get along better since we're going to kick Jarrod out for being a great big douchecock.
  • Metopian track and field (hopefully) kicks all kinds of ass at the Olympics here in a few days.
  • Brad goes off to L.I.S.S. (Lynchburg Institute of Stupid Showers)
  • Jarrod goes off to UVA and we thank Allen for that because we hate him.
  • Hopefully, Jarrod will read this and learn how much I hate his ugly self.
  • What he won't realize right away is that everyone else feels the same way. Because when you're an overbearing, pompous, whiny little wannabe, you can't expect to be very popular. Makes sense right?
  • HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY!!!!!! See it!


    Also, feel free to send Jarrod hate messages through any of the following media:

    Mail
    Jarrod A. Thomas (A for Asshole)
    113 Bonnycastle
    Charlottesville, VA 22904-2001


    Phone
    Room #: (434) 297-9771
    Cell #: (540) 430-7538
    E-Mail
    jat2f@virginia.edu

    This information was made available by Jarrod himself when he put this in his AIM profile so people could see him again. Little does he realize no one wants to. Mostly because of his being a anal, up-sucking, pseudo-intellectual porn freak.

    Oh yea, the reason "I'm never on AIM" is because I've actually had you blocked for like a year or so, like many others. Also Sk8trRiley420 was me. Douchewank.



    All you Jarrod-haters out there, go here
    Anyone who actually likes Jarrod go here No one will click this, of course. Haha!