Final Election Results

Question Four: "Like, who shall totally be the next Dictator-for-life of the Empire of Metopia, and (for the running mate) the next Evil King and Tyrant of the Emiratic Order of the Knights of Bohemia (and hence Vice Dictator), dude?"

Sir Schottenfroida /

Sir Vyborny (F.U. Nationalist Dictators Party INCUMBENTS): 40%

Bear /

Contents of Bear (Bear Party): 25%

Hurricane Bob /

Goodbye Holly (Republican Party): 20%

M.M.T.R.M.J.J.A.C.D. Pants /

His wife (Irrelevant Party): 5%

Nalph Rader /

Hippie Q. McFreakington (Blue Party): 5%

Yank My Riley /

Clayton Wisely (Inverted Inversion Party): 5%

Ris Jism IIIV /

Evil Froidae #4 (Extraterrestrial Free-love Insatiation Party [Denmark]): 0%

Tony Hawk /

Bob Burnquist (Skateboarders Party): 0%

Question Three: "Like, if we did something totally radical and ended the war against Kratopia, and in effect made them a free nation already, would that be bodacious or bogus with you, brah?"

Bogus (Continue war): 79%

Bodacious (Stop war): 21%

Question Two: "Would it be totally OK with you if we lifted the Total Spongebob Squarepants Ban, or would that be just so much falafel and showercaps?"

Falafel and Showercaps (Fuck Spongebob): 68%

Totally OK (Unban Spongebob): 32%

Question One: "So like what if we stopped making up rules based on our every whim and actually listened to you guys, the people, for once in our forsaken lives? Would that be chill with you?"

NO!: 44%

DON'T BE SILLY!: 33%

OF COURSE NOT!: 17%

Yes. (too bad): 6%

Question Five: "Jen Beury or Jessica Fanning?"

Jessica Fanning: 53%

Jen Beury: 47%

Every precinct is reporting except those bleeding fucks at Hiriz District. It doesn't matter though, they won't affect the outcome of the voting because we've just sold them to Albania.