Everything He Knows Is Wrong (Live)
Everything He Knows Is Wrong: Arranged for the live concert by the whole band. As former wannabe bandleader Jay-Rod Thomas was gradually being lowered into SDCC (the vat of sulfuric acid), Cullen and Tim featured on this slightly changed version of their album song "Everything You Know is Wrong."
Everything He Knows Is Wrong
This song is about a guy who wanted to be our leader.
How ya doin' up there?
Jarrod: Mmmphh! Mmmppphhh!
That's great! A one, a two, a five six seven eight!
He was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in his underwear
When suddenly a guy behind him in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across his eyes
He guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"
"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"
"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
He probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time they crashed into the truck
And as he's laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally he recognized the face of his hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells him
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
He was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When he accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon he was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out his internal organs
And they took some polaroids
And said he was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport him back to
Any point in history that he would care to go
And so he had them send him back to last Thursday night
So he could pay his phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
He was just about to mail a letter to his evil twin
When he got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and he died (Finally!)
So now he's up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it's obvious Pete doesn't like
The Nehru jacket that he's wearing
He tells him that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets Gay into heaven anyway
But he got the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't really matter anymore
Because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong
Yes, Jarrod, you are a misrable whiny little asshole. Go to hell!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
(sounds of Jarrod falling to his death by SDCC (the vat of sulfuric acid.)