SDCC Members

Here are the (non)talented musicians who make up SDCC. All of the profiles are up!

Shawn Wheeler, Lead Guitar, Bass Vocals
Jon Lichtenstein, Bass Guitar, Tenor Vocals
Brandon Spalding, Keyboard/Piano, Tenor Vocals
Jonathan Rexrode, Trumpet/Saxophone, Alto Vocals
Brad O'Neil, Drums and Percussion, Super-High Girly Soprano Vocals
Chris Carper, Piccolo, Tenor Vocals
"Hurricane" Bob Lent, Train Whistle, Bass Vocals
Jarrod Thomas, Didgeridoo, Alto Vocals
Tim Willis, Triangle, Bass Vocals
Cullen O'Neil, Kazoo, Alto Vocals
Clayton Brady, Sitar, Tenor Vocals
Jeremy Grant, Rumba Box, Alto Vocals



Profiles


Shawn Wheeler

Wheeler was born on November 16, 1986 in a two story tree house in Iraq. At a very young age he showed talent at rapping, and by age 2 he released his first album "Reality Sculptor," performing under the name of (Very) Li'l Julio. Though the mainstream community liked his stuff, the black, Hispanic, and Chinese Communist Party communities absolutely despised him. At age 15, his seventh album, "Mein Schwanz" was released to almost no sales. Severely dissillusioned, Wheeler contemplated suicide, but just before he jumped out the window of his one story lean-to on Mt. Kilimanjaro, he suddenly remembered that he was the very best guitar player in the entire universe. When he heard that SDCC needed a guitar player, (their last one died of cholera) he immediately auditioned, and the job was his. His history as a rap artist has served him well with SDCC, though The Metopian Music Review has said he "sings like a pile of rocks." (No one knows what they are talking about.) Though he usually sings and doesn't write the songs, he did arrange "The Baseketball Song." Perhaps his greatest moment is from the "Pornography Aisle" video, where he says "smack yo bitch up."

Jon Lichtenstein

Possibly the most famous member of SDCC, Lichtenstein is probably also the worst musician in the band. Lichtenstein was the first member added to the new SDCC after the break-up of Evan Kays and the Cougars in 2000. One of the main song writer/arrangers for the band, he is most well-known for "The Food Critic." Lichtenstein has also been the main PR man for the band, which has including his being the main person questioned when the band was arrested for their shirt-removing antics, and later for the lyrics for "The Sound Of Beer." Lichtenstein's hobbies include wrestling, arson, and making drummer Brad O'Neil feel incompetant as a soccer player because he is better and starts over him. He also likes to punch guys like Jeff Weeks. He loves to say strange things, like, "I know right," "We read the website," and "Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!!"

Brandon Spalding

A member of the old band Evan Kays and the Cougars (which also featured current SDCC member Brad O'Neil on drums) he was partly responsible for the founding of the current SDCC. Spalding has also produced two classical piano albums, "Tocata and Fugue" and "How To Kill Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart." He was also responsible for adding the SDCC trademark "Break It Down" sequence featured before every concert. It was Spalding who used his "contacts" to get the band most of their gigs in their early days as a garage band, including their famous shows at the Civic Center, The Hollywood Bowl, and at The Secret Room Behind the Hot Water Pipes in the Third Bathroom in the First Hallway at Grand Central Station. Besides playing with SDCC, Spalding also enjoys running, defecating, and collecting irregular Oreos. Also an avid fan of the University of Virginia, he has been known to shoot Virginia Tech fans on site.

Jonathan Rexrode

The member of SDCC who doesn't seem to want to be there. SDCC's brass specialist, on most songs he plays trumpet, though on a few songs he plays saxaphone, and on "Fort Defiance" he even busts out a trombone. The last member selected by O'Neil and Willis at The Freshman Orientation Trials. Rexrode provided a solid addition to the sound of the band, and helped bring on the SDHS Cheerleaders (a professional dance squad) into the band's live performances. Though in the background for much of the band's existence, he suddenly came into the limelight when the world saw his part in the video for "Knights Of The Round Table." He is man of few words, the main reason for that being that it is very hard to sing whilst playing a trumpet or a saxaphone.

Brad O'Neil

One of the original members of Evan Kays and the Cougars, O'Neil started drumming in the summer of 1976, when he took lessons from a guy named Lance. Tragically, Lance died in a horrible plane wreck in 1984, when Brad was 2 years old. Ever since then, O'Neil has dedicated his life to being the second best drummer in the world. (Behind George Bush.) O'Neil is a very sensible and ordinary man in every way, until he wakes up in the morning. One of the three main songwriters for SDCC, his finest work includes "Pornography Aisle" (w/ Jarrod Thomas and Chris Carper) and his famous solo project, "FJB." O'Neil possesses the unique ability to be able sing while playing the drums, and he performs those super-high pitched, glass breaking notes that everyone says sounds like a dying cat. Also he is the member of the band who is responsible for the creation and maintainence of the SDCC website. (which you are now ON!!!) He was even had mistaken for Lichtenstein at the Augusta County Band/Cross Country Invitational. Also "the most noticable" member of SDCC, he has gotten the band arrested (for "The Sound Of Beer") and has severely annoyed several parents and members of enemy bands at concerts. When the fuzz arrives, he can usually be found denying everything while ordering one-way plane tickets to Zanzibar.

Chris Carper

If there's one thing you can say about piccolist Chris Carper, it's that he doesn't like saurkraut. Carper joined the band about a week before the famous tryouts in Texas, making him the sixth most senior member of the band. (Which means nothing.) Carper's only songwriting credit comes with his part in writing the band's greatest hit, "Pornography Aisle." As for his personal life, Carper likes to talk about cars, build cars, drive cars, and siphon gasoline. He is 27 years old and lives with his wife Lucinda in the guest mansion at Allen Iverson's house. As the son of a multi-millionaire, Carper has enjoyed the good life through the years, and someday he will die.

"Hurricane" Bob Lent

At 7'8", the "Hurricane" is surely the third tallest member of SDCC, as well as being the oldest. Lent was actually the guitar player in two extremely unsuccessful bands with Brad O'Neil in the past, Prototype (in 1998 with Nathan Mace on bass) and a band that at different time was known as Hacksaw and Phoenix (in 1995 with Zach Jones on bass and Bret Fears on keyboard.) The second member selected by O'Neil and Willis at the trials at Freshman Orientation, Texas, Lent has been an avid supporter of the band through Public Relations, and has even driven for the band on the three non-consecutive occasions where the regular bus driver has passed out from being smashed over the head with his train whistle case. Lent's only song-writing credit comes from his part in the penning of the new lines for the extended version of "The Food Critic." Lent also has several film credits, including the immortal who jumps off a cliff in "Highlander VII," Gimli in the three "Lord Of The Rings" films, and as the getaway driver in Speilberg's remake of the classic film "Cannonball Run." Also famous for his appearance in Train Weekly's swimsuit calendar for 1996. His extremely deep vocals are often used in tandem with the very girly vocals of certain other band members to even out the sound. This is one member of SDCC that's very hard to miss, even when's he singing or playing in the background.

Jarrod Thomas

Thomas originally joined SDCC on the spoons in its first incarnation in 2001, but due to the strife with their manager, he quit. Sometime between then and August 15, 2002, he switched over from spoons to didgeridoo, and on the afforementioned date he rejoined the band just as the Freshman Orientation Trials closed. Thomas was born on Tuesday, and has lived in such diverse locations as Stuarts Draft, VA, Waynesboro, VA, Staunton, VA, and Venus. One of the three main songwriters for the band, (along with Lichtenstein and O'Neil) his work includes "Smooth And Creamy" (which kinda sucked) and "Pornography Aisle," (which is so good that it has already stopped 15 civil wars permanantly.) In his spare time, Thomas likes to raise alpacas, eat corn, and insult his homosexual brother.

Tim Willis

Probably the single most important member of SDCC, triangle player Willis first joined the band in its first try as SDCC in late 2001, and stuck with the troubled band the whole way. He, along with drummer O'Neil chose the new members of the band at the Trials at Freshman Orientation, Texas. The seventeenth best triangle player on the Atlantic Coast, and an advocate of teeth, Willis has already released four solo triangle albums ("Sounds of Willis," "Tim," "Metopian Music," and his Christmas album "Kill Those Salvation Army Santas") all of which he released in the downtime between SDCC's first unofficial "break-up" and their rebirth in July 2002. Also has a line of instructional videos out (none of which have triangles in them.) Tim has only one songwriting credits as yet; the Spanish song "JAJ." His favorite singer is "Weird Al" Yankovic, and he enjoys his work as a female impersonator.

Cullen O'Neil

Cullen, the new kazoo player added in late summer 2003, was the leader of the band Toothpaste For Swine, a funky-grunge trio which merged with SDCC last July. He is the brother of drummer of Brad O'Neil, and rides around in space dirigible covered with Nazi grafiti. His first work with SDCC was actually before he joined the band, when he was getting drunk after an orgy, I mean, party, and wrote "The Fuck Off Song" which he gave to SDCC for inclusion on their "None More Raped" album.

Clayton Brady

Formerly a member of hip-techno death metal band Toothpaste For Swine, he became an SDCC member when Cullen and Brad O'Neil worked out the merger of the two bands. He had also done some solo work with one Akash Patel, whom he left because he was so fucking annoying. Clayton is the band's resident punk and doesn't like his lookalike and fanboy D.J. very much. Also, he is a huge fan of Chef Emeril's not-so-famous Chicken Pot Pie. He also enjoys Pot by itself.

Jeremy Grant

The tallest member of SDCC, he was originally a member of the softcore rap-jazz band Toothpaste For Swine. He plays the rumba box for SDCC now. He enjoys cross dressing and threatening Hollywood directors with high-powered rifles. And of course, his most favorite thing to do is to set fire to great public buildings.

Temporary member Brian Sarbin, Tenor Kazoo and Bass Vocals.

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