Metopian Olympic Team Roster
The Metopian Olympic team members come from all sorts of different backgrounds, and some are actually from other places but we just paid them a bunch of money to compete for us instead. |
|
Name |
Age |
Hometown |
Occupation |
|
------------ |
--- |
------------ |
------------ |
|
Akuma |
?? |
Hell, Japan |
Demonic Martial Artist |
|
Allen the Addax-God |
2 |
Heaven, Metopia |
Deity (Allenism) |
|
An Addax |
13 |
Addax, Metopia |
Wild animal |
|
George Addax |
2 |
Addax, Metopia |
Pink Addax |
|
Tara Altizer |
17 |
East Grinstead, Metopia |
Student |
|
The Assassin |
30 |
Sustuli, Kratopia |
Professional Wrestler |
|
Sir Xanatos Blackthorn |
25 |
Dreher, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/pilot |
|
Hurricane Bob |
18 |
Queens, Metopia |
Organ Repairman |
|
Sir Bonezalot |
19 |
Staunton, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/soccer player |
|
The Bouncer |
29 |
Costa Del Sol, Metopia |
Professional wrestler |
|
Strong Brad |
23 |
Addax, Metopia |
Airline pilot |
|
Jamie Brie |
28 |
Simview, Metopia |
Wiccan goth guy |
|
Sir Burnsalot |
21 |
Queens, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/pyrotechnician |
|
John Cheese |
23 |
Brie, Metopia |
Graduate student |
|
Christopher Chronopolis |
27 |
Athens, Greece |
Professional Athlete |
|
Coach Clifton |
32 |
Staunton, Metopia |
HS cross-country coach |
|
An Clinton |
2 |
Addax, Metopia |
Addax-centurion |
|
Cobra |
32 |
Sustuli, Kratopia |
Professional wrestler |
|
Arthur Cosgrove |
55 |
Blandenton, Metopia |
Policeman |
|
Cimmaron Craig |
17 |
Costa Del Sol, Metopia |
Student |
|
Ron Crews |
27 |
Lockbridge, Metopia |
Laser technician |
|
John Deacon |
35 |
Leicester, England |
Bassist for Queen |
|
Sir Fartlek |
17 |
Matthews, Cangro |
Bohemian Knight/soldier |
|
Maitresse Foncee |
19 |
French Sixth, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/archer..ess? |
|
Jacksonville Ford |
25 |
Toronto, Canada |
Professional athlete |
|
Jonathan Galadon |
31 |
Simview, Metopia |
Professional athlete (retired) |
|
God |
5-B |
Heaven |
Deity (Christianity) |
|
Jeremy Grant |
17 |
Ironhorse, Metopia |
Hardees order guy |
|
Tom Greene |
28 |
The Matrix Sucks, Metopia |
Entertainer/weirdo |
|
John "The Phantom" Guster |
26 |
Vybornyville, Metopia |
Professional wrestler |
|
Horst Hash |
23 |
Pinaal, Metopia |
Professional athlete |
|
Sir Von Haylen of Roses the Great |
22 |
Midgar, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/angry guy |
|
Adolf Hitler VII |
24 |
New Berlin, Metopia |
Revolutionary |
|
Intangir |
85 |
Lesser Triangle Isle, Kratopia |
Giant monster |
|
Sir Ironhorse |
46 |
Queens, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/troublemaker |
|
Immanuel Kant |
42 |
New Berlin, Metopia |
Philospher/real pissant |
|
Haichoge Kiplagebrselassie |
31 |
Addis Nairobi, Metopia |
Farmer |
|
Freddy Kylor |
30 |
Duckworth, Metopia |
Serial rapist |
|
Sir Jerome Lafaire |
35 |
D'Accord, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/poet |
|
Marc Law |
25 |
The Moon |
Professional athlete |
|
Shane Lechler |
28 |
Oakland, USA |
Punter for Raiders |
|
Sir Lee |
17 |
Staunton, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/spear tosser |
|
Lance Legstrong |
32 |
L'Alpe D'Huez, Metopia |
Doctor |
|
Squall Leonheart |
18 |
Balamb, FF8 |
Mercenary |
|
Jon Lichtenstein |
17 |
Lichmond, Metopia |
Professional Jew |
|
Sir Lightstone |
29 |
Mt. May, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/funny list keeper |
|
MacBastard the Plaid (Deceased) |
23 |
Mercury City, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/dead guy |
|
"Mako" |
28 |
Vulcan City, RX |
Soldier/Oaf |
|
dnL Man |
25 |
Costa Del Sol, Metopia |
Superhero |
|
Man in 1986 Crown Victoria |
48 |
Mercury City, Metopia |
Taxi driver |
|
Man in Kangaroo Suit |
16 |
Hiriz City, Metopia |
Mascot |
|
Man on Bicycle |
22 |
Terminus, Metopia |
Cheater |
|
Man with Nine Legs |
33 |
Froida, Metopia |
Anonymous freak |
|
Karl Marx |
55 |
New Berlin, Metopia |
Communist idealist |
|
Brian May |
39 |
Middlesex, Metopia |
Guitarist for Queen |
|
Freddie Mercury |
40 |
Someplace, Zanzibar |
Singer for Queen |
|
Sir Mix-A-Little |
14 |
North Sabresville, Kratopia |
Kratopian legionairre |
|
Timmy Morris |
25 |
Sustuli, Kratopia |
Footballer |
|
Sir Neptars |
42 |
Dreher, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/dark knight |
|
Bard Nilsson |
23 |
Stualts Dlaft, Metopia |
Professional miler |
|
Colin Nilsson |
21 |
Stualts Dlaft, Metopia |
Professional distance runner |
|
Sir Nobunaga |
24 |
Midgar, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/ninja |
|
Sir Lee |
17 |
Staunton, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/spear tosser |
|
Brad O'Neil |
17 |
Lynchburg, Metopia |
Amateur athlete |
|
Cullen O'Neil |
15 |
Sustuli, Kratopia |
Bum (Lazy) |
|
Sir Phileas of the Nine Sabres |
28 |
The Matrix Sucks, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/dill weed |
|
Kevin Phillips-Bong |
41 |
Luton, Metopia |
Politician |
|
Steve Postfontaine |
21 |
Duckworth, Metopia |
National PR Guy |
|
Pol Pot |
53 |
Kuala Lumpur, Cambodia |
Despot |
|
Harry Rasta |
26 |
Riga, Latvia |
A-list actor |
|
Kadon Rasta |
28 |
Riga, Latvia |
Criminal mastermind |
|
Sir Johnny Red |
32 |
Alligator Bay, Kratopia |
Pirate |
|
Jonathan Rexrode |
18 |
South Beach, Metopia |
Kroger checkout dude |
|
Sir Robin of Camelot |
25 |
Kraven, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/really big spider |
|
Willie Robinson |
17 |
Atalanta, Metopia |
Graphic artist |
|
Jeremy Rowe |
17 |
L'Homme d'la Batte, Metopia |
Soccer type guy |
|
Atticus Runner |
27 |
Vybornyville, Metopia |
Race (and jay) walker |
|
Lady Ryan |
18 |
5K Island, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/tall girl |
|
Sir Klavetorian Ryyan |
22 |
Staunton, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/soccer fanatic |
|
Sir Schottenfroida |
44 |
Mercury City, Metopia |
Dictator-for-Life of Metopia |
|
Jean-Henri Selivanov |
68 |
Czmel, Czechoslovakia |
Postman |
|
Sir Samuel "Salty Sam" Selivanov |
42 |
Sustuli, Kratopia |
Leader of Kratopia |
|
Sir Vyborny Selivanov |
44 |
Vybornyville, Metopia |
Evil King/Tyrant of Bohemian Knights |
|
Sephiroth |
30 |
Great Glacier, FF7 |
Crazed villain |
|
Sir Byrun Sexxalought |
38 |
Terminus, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/general |
|
Sir Shizerdick |
31 |
Terminus, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/sailor |
|
Hyperion Smith |
26 |
New Waynesboro, Metopia |
Professional athlete |
|
Sir Dark Soliloquy |
22 |
Costa Del Sol, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/jack-of-all-trades |
|
Brandon Spalding |
17 |
Blandenton, Metopia |
Student |
|
Sir Spatulagod |
27 |
Queen Island, Metopia |
Bohemian Knight/punk |
|
Stingray |
32 |
Sustuli, Kratopia |
Boxer |
|
Roger Taylor |
38 |
Norfolk, England |
Drummer for Queen |
|
Jarrod Thomas |
18 |
Jarrod's Villa, Metopia |
Running store clerk |
|
Lasse Viren Jr. |
26 |
Vybornyville, Metopia |
Policeman |
|
Vork the Alien |
26 |
Aldebaran-7 |
Space captain |
|
A. Brick Wall |
50 |
Hadrian, Metopia |
Like, a brick wall |
|
John Wayne |
61 |
Hollywood, USA |
Actor/all-around toughguy |
|
Jormungand W. Wayneright |
26 |
Addax, Metopia |
Nuclear power plant worker |
|
$hawn Wheeler |
17 |
Midgar, Metopia |
Pimp |
|
William Williamson |
23 |
South Sabresville, Kratopia |
Messenger/postboy |
|
Tim Willis |
17 |
Mercury City, Metopia |
Lifeguard |
|
Stephen Winkler |
17 |
Ibex, Metopia |
Astrophysicist |
|
Jim Won'tis |
22 |
Stualts Dlaft, Metopia |
Professional high jumper |
|
Sir Yyunh |
43 |
Titopolis, Bitopia |
Leader of Bitopia |
|
Zeus |
4-B |
Mt. Olympus |
Deity (Greek) |
|
Robert Zimmerman |
32 |
Mercury City, Metopia |
Singer/songwriter |