Bowman

Possessor of an infinitesimal cock, Bowman often suffers from STSV's (Sexually Transmitted Stomache Viruses) as a result of his love for swallowing. If Bowman didnt suck so much, Todd Somers would finish second, but unfortunetly, Bowman is always sucking on something, so thats impossible. Also he has the closest relationship with Witherow. He also dislikes looking at ugly people, so he generally tries to avoid mirrors. Known to his friends as "Mr. Flamboyant," "Peaches," or "Pansyboy," he makes his teammates run faster by promising them sexual favors.
A lover of fine art, he has become famous for his sculptures of fresh fruit made from petrified jizz. At night he transforms into a rabid spotted ladybug wearing a candy-cane shirt and flies in search of excrement to dine on. Often he hangs around singles bars while dressed as a woman.
As a devout Afghanistani patriot, he can be found masturbating every day at 3:07 pm EST. He thinks he is the world's funniest man, but in actuality he is about as funny as a man with a tape recorder up his ass. (Actually, that would be pretty funny.)
A track and cross-country superstar, his PR's are: 800m: 5:02, 1600m: 17:37, 3200: 48:12, and CC5K: slower than Tim Schnittger. He also has a strange obsession for Moose Tracks ice cream. (Wait, that was someone else.)
If you've learned nothing else from this rant, then at least be aware that Jordan Bowman is a big gay jerk.

This insult was composed entirely by the cross-country team from Rockbridge.