What's New?
April 29, 2005
Sir Schottenfroida has perished in a freak tortise watching accident. His bloody remains have been scattered throughout the country. He is expected to make a full recovery and should be back around mid-May.
April 1, 2005
Happy Little April Fool's Day, or as we call it in Metopia, Fuck With Everyone Day. There's a couple of Picayune stories from last month that we posted today Our mistake.
March 28, 2005
Battles, battles, battles, battles, battles, battles, battles,
battles,
battles,
battles,
battles,
battles,
battles, annoy, annoy!
March 27, 2005
New battles. On the battles page.
March 24, 2005
For those of you who are wondering how the war has been going (stop sending in letters, you fictional people), check out the first battles.
Mens results for the National Champions are on the Track Page. Women's results will follow shortly. (By the way, we are not sorry at all about being two weeks late with this either.
March 16, 2005
Marathon rizzults are in!
March 2, 2005
MFL Stupendous Bowl results are in!!
March 1, 2005
Added Basketball shit. Enter the tournament prediction thing.
February 28, 2005
The MFL Stupendous Bowl is set!!
February 27, 2005
Results! And Nationals Start list!
February 24, 2005
The 2nd Annual Metopian National CC's have totally occurred. See the world championship team and such.
February 20, 2005
A new Picayune story about this war thing that's happening.
Also a further explanation of the above.
Results!
February 16, 2005
Two new Picayune stories by our new writer from Bitopia.
Said writer has been added to the Picayune roster.
February 14, 2005
This is my last update before I die: new Picayune story.
February 13, 2005
The following Knights have been promoted: Sir Salty Sam to Paladin for services rendered Metopia over the past few years; Sir Von Haylen of Roses the Great (Space Invader) to Cavalier for being able to jump over things 6 foot 3 inches and shorter; and Sir Lightstone to Arc Knight for having him test 50/50 on the good/evil scale that will be brought forth shortly.
Some more results and start lists on the Indoor Tour thing.
February 12, 2005
Preliminary results of the Distance Festival are on the Indoor Tour thing.
February 6, 2005
Updated the MFL stuff through the end of the regular season...finally.
February 3, 2005
Added a new Road Racing section to the Athletics page.
January 32, 2005
New Picayune story to explain the supposed error above.
January 30, 2005
Copy-Paste attack! Indoor Tour page update with results of Metopia v. Swabia.
January 25, 2005
The Start list for the Metopian Distance Festival is on the Indoor Tour thing.
Midnight run! MFL shit from last week is up, late as usual.
January 23, 2005
The newest Knight of Bohemia is Sir Irbman the Almighty.
Indoor Tour page update with results of Metopia v. Saxony.
January 17, 2005
Some start lists have been added/updated on the Indoor Tour type thing.
OMFG!!!1!1!!six We've reached 50 Bohemian Knights! Meet Sir MacAlpine of the Waverly Chapter, aka Mr. Fifty.
January 16, 2005
The MCAA College All-Starxorzs Meet results are on the Indoor Tour page.
January 12, 2005
MFL crap for week seven is here! One playoff spot clinched, three remain, and no team has been eliminated yet! (Though some will probably be right out the door by next week...)
January 11, 2005
A new Picayune story.
January 9, 2005
Added the results of the Metopian Indoor Invitational to the Indoor Tour page.
January 5, 2005
Put up the Start List for Indoor Meet #4, the MCAA All-Star Meeting type-deal. Hint: Try the Indoor Tour page.
January 4, 2005
New meets have been posted for the Indoor Tour.
January 3, 2005
We've gone ahead in time, and we've seen the MFL results for this week even though games aren't all played yet!
Then we went back and time and took down the results of Christmas Track Meet which we had forgotten to record when it was run.
And lastly, we've gone sideways in time to bring you the ever-changing national rankings-based start list for the Metopian Indoor Championships, click the link in the above update.
All this time travel is having an awful effect on us. Click here to see what's happened to us, and here to be gnawed to death by giant weasels.
December 31, 2004
SDCC (The Band) has released two new albums! Check them out!
December 29, 2004
MFL crap updated. Semi-Pro Bowl voting updated also.
December 23, 2004
Sorry for the lack of football updates, here's everything for the past three weeks. Soon we'll have the Terminus roster and the Semi-Pro Bowl leaders.
Added the Semi-Pro Bowl leaders and the Terminus roster on the MFL page.
Gave the long-overdue rank-changes to Knights: Sir Jerome Lafaire and Sir Salty Sam promoted to Cavalier for services rendered the Knights, and Byrun Sexxalought demoted from Idiot to Toilet Licker, for being a great big anus-boy who cries and whines and complains and then acts like he's God. And he licks toilets.
December 8, 2004
A new Picayune story.
December 6, 2004
Results of the L.I.S.S. Pro-Am are on theTrack page.
December 5, 2004
MFL stuff for Week 1 is posted.
Two new Knights, Sir The Kirby and Sir Pegasus have joined the Knights of Bohemia. Also, they've formed the new Waverly Chapter of the organization which I divulged in my previous utterance.
December 2, 2004
The final election figures are in!! I get to keep my job! And yet, I'm somehow not that thrilled about it.
December 1, 2004
November 31, 2004
Wu tang clan ain't nothin' to...oh, sorry. Fortune Teller is now available. Do you dare?
The stuff for the new season of the MFL is here!! Hurrah!! (Also the contest page is updated as well.
Added some more rosters to the MFL page (link above.)
Updated the voting figures for today at 10:10pm AGAIN!!! Whoa, same time as last night! Freaky!! In 1 hour and 50 minutes, voting is over!! Aaaagghh!
Metopian Indoor Track Tour base is belong to us.
November 30, 2004
Those maps and extra stuff on the war against Kratopia page are now up. Stupid War. Stupid against. Stupid Kratopia.
Updated the voting figures for today at 10:10pm. Again, if anything changes tonight I'll re-post.
November 29, 2004
A plethora of Picayune stories.
Also, you can now see the Picayune staff, although I have no idea why you'd want to do that.
Updated the voting figures for today at 8:02 pm. If any more returns come in before midnight we'll post those, if not we'll be bringing you the next update about this time tomorrow.
Info on the first major operations of the war against Kratopia have been posted. Hopefully the war maps can be up tomorrow.
Updated the election returns at 9:58pm. A few changes, the girl question is a dead split, not much else going on but still check it, man.
Translate what you say into backwards language with the greatest of ease! Try it! Actually, Froida made this on December 6, 2002, but it's only now being available to the public. No one knows why.
Dude, this has been a shitload of updates. Holy Crap.
November 28, 2004
The first early election returns have started to come in! Polls close Dec. 2 at midnight, so if you want to vote, send us an e-mail or contact us in some way. We will be happy to take your ballots, although if we start to lose, we may just accidentally change your vote. Partisan banter: Vote Fanning!
November 25, 2004
Happy Thanks-withholding Day!!! (or for our American friends, Thanksgiving Day.) We've got full results on the MCAA XC Nationals!!!! Yes God Damnit!!! Click here!
November 14, 2004
The Regional meets have been run and 115 runners now stand ready to race for glory at the MCAA National Cross-Country Championships! See who made it here!
November 4, 2004
A new Law. Obey it!
MCAA Cross-Country FEVER has struck the nation!!!! See what the hype is all about!!
October 24, 2004
There's an election going on in Metopia, too! Learn about the candidates for Dictator-for-Life here and read the transcript of the debate here.
October 22, 2004
New Picayune story
October 3, 2004
New Picayune story but it was from September so it's in that issue.
September 29, 2004
A new Knight from the Norse area, Sir Hudkjfls
September 26, 2004
Results of the World Athletics Final are in.
September 12, 2004
Updated a few things in the Cross-Country rankings.
Our newest Knight, Sir Flagellate has won the dumbest name contest.
September 9, 2004
New Picayune story.
Also, we apologize for the fault in the What's New entry last time which gave the month of May instead of September, as well as giving the wrong link. Those responsible have been sacked.
September 5, 2004
Please welcome Sir Gelato of Summerville, the newest Knight of Bohemia.
August 29, 2004
New Picayune story. It's really stupid. I'm sorry.
The Olympics now over, we bring you the results of the last day of competition.
August 28, 2004
Olympic stuff for today's up.
August 27, 2004
Olympic stuff for today's up.
August 26, 2004
Olympic stuff for today's up. Four more medals!!
August 25, 2004
Olympic stuff for today's up.
August 24, 2004
Olympic stuff for the past few days is now up. Sorry for the delay.
August 21, 2004
Today's Olympic results on the Olympic page. Metopian won another medal, this time of the silver variety! Now we need some gold!
August 20, 2004
Today's Olympic results on the Olympic page. Metopian won it's first medal!!
August 19, 2004
Added links to certain Metopian's logs on the left side bar thing over that way <---
Today's Olympic results on the Olympic page.
August 18, 2004
Today's Olympic results on the Olympic page.
August 17, 2004
Happy Birthday Metopia! We've made it another year! See what happened in our second year! Hopefully the next year will be just the same, only Jarrod-free! Because he's a dick.
Today's Olympic results on the Olympic page.
August 16, 2004
Today's Olympic results on the Olympic page.
August 15, 2004
Some new results on the Olympic page. Go Metopia!
August 14, 2004
Some new results on the Olympic page. Go Metopia!
August 13, 2004
Friday the 13th, Schottenfroida fell and had to have an emergency appendectemy. Doctors made a mistake and lobotamized him, but he seems no different than usual.
New Picayune story
August 12, 2004
Gained a new Knight, Sir Horatio and with him a new chapter
New Picayune story
Some football and archery results on the Olympic page.
August 10, 2004
Added some new things to the Olympic page.
August 9, 2004
Gained a new Knight, Sir Jenifuh and with him a new chapter as well. This proves that the form still works, at least.
Added an Olympic mainpage. Go here
Little April will bring about Armageddon.
August 7, 2004
Added the Olympic soccer roster to the list of teams, as well as did the starting lineups for the team sports. Go here
Metopia's second birthday approaches! August 17, 2004!
July 29, 2004
The Metopian Olympic Trials occured. For real. See who made the team here
July 22, 2004
Meet the Metopian Olympic Team
New Picayune story
July 9, 2004
Blitzball day five stuff has been posted. Some people have complained we never post anything else. Well here's something for all of you guys.
July 6, 2004
Blitzball day four stuff has been posted. Has everyone seen that kickass logo? It PWNS, BITH!!!111!!
July 3, 2004
Blitzball day three stuff has been posted. Man, what a kickass logo.
Go Armstrong! Go Ullrich! I can't decide!!!!
June 30, 2004
Blitzball day two stuff has been posted. A special thanks to Sir Neptars for the excellent new MBL logo that has replaced the old crappy MS Paint one.
June 27, 2004
Blitzball day one stuff has been posted. Yes, the Harriers still suck.
June 25, 2004
Blitzball 2004 crap is posted!!
Update the contest page which I bet most of you have never seen before.
June 24, 2004
If anyone attempted to join the Knights in the past two months, please resubmit your forms. It really will work this time.
Two new Picayune stories
The final start list for the Metopian Olympic Trials is here
The second blitzball season is coming!!!!!
May 31, 2004
Like Sir Freddie Mercury back in December 2002 when he became Sir Schottenfroida, Sir Rand has changed his name officially. He's now pretty much the same jerk-off animal lover as before, only now he's Sir Jaralim
Will got his revenge on that big fuckstick Brad. In related news, the Distance Festival was rife with blazing fast times and Metopian records, and the results are on this page. The results from the Brie Open will be posted as soon as that miserable little fuckhead Stan Finkenastiratervindlesteinbergerhundsphutcheese sends them in.
May 26, 2004
Brad beat Will Williams a few times and now he thinks he's hot shit. New Picayune story has more on that.
May 16, 2004
Metopian Distance Festival start list is up on the the track page. The Brie Open is completed, we'll post those results as soon as we get the results from meet director Stan Finkenastiratervindlesteinbergerhundsphutcheese.
April 29, 2004
New Picayune story. On college.
Antarctic Tri-Meet stuff is posted on the track page. As a consequence, the Metopian Trials rankings crap is also updated. Yesh.
April 25, 2004
Updated Sir Dark Soliloquy's thing
April 18, 2004
Metopia is getting more and more of the ladies. Forsooth.
April 13, 2004
New Picayune story. Actually I just rehashed an old one from last year but ah well.
April 10, 2004
Metopia has a new number one harlot. Verily.
April 7, 2004
A new knight who actually signed up in November. We're totally on the ball. Briix!
We won an award! Heitsai!
April 4, 2004
Addax Invitational track meet stuff is posted on some sort of page here. As a consequence, the Metopian Trials rankings crap is also updated. LC rulez you, wutai!
April 3, 2004
New knight. Check him out
March 23, 2004
A new Picayune story.
By the way, who in God's name is this mysterious girl-knight, Maitresse Foncee? If you are reading this, at least let us know from whence you came!
March 21, 2004
Misnomer Invitational results are on the Track & Field page.
March 19, 2004
Added an outdoor track tour on the MAAF page. Jurg!
Also, a Picayune story with "Hello" Holly in.
March 15, 2004
The Metopian Olympic Trials Marathon just finished at this place. Hortschkoff!
March 12, 2004
Metopia Tech info is up for any loser who'd actually want to go there.
March 9, 2004
The Metopian Race Walk Championships went down. Check it.
March 7, 2004
Added pictures to the Picayune story in the last update.
March 6, 2004
Midnight run! SDCC's show was killer! 38 Pictures have been posted so far.
Also a Picayune story on it.
March 2, 2004
New shaith on the SDCC (the band) page. We'll be playing live on the 4th! Ohhhh riiight!
March 1, 2004
If you think you're man, woman, or weird adrogynous freakazoid enough to make the Metopian Olympic team for 2004, let us know! Check the homepage over there for details!
February 29, 2004
Happy Sadie Hawkins Day! Although in Metopia, this day is all about Jennifer Beury! Basically we put Jennifer Beury's name (Jen Beury) on the Metopian CC page so we could say we updated on February 29. Don't like it? Eat shit!
February 26, 2004
Metopian cross country crap updated and the rot. Two more days till states!!!!
February 23, 2004
Yet another fictional character in the election. Werkepft!
February 21, 2004
Stupendous Bowl results
Metopian National Championships stuff is up.
February 12, 2004
New Picayune story.
Two more bastards in the election crap. Wutai!
February 9, 2004
Another elitist white jerkoff has joined one of the races for thane. Check out this new election shit. Wertkit, habadabas.
February 6, 2004
Picayune for February has its first story. (An MFL one)
February 5, 2004
There's been a doin's a transpirin' over in the election races. Well actually just one doin' but its rather important tragic funny.
Updated the MFL Stupendous Bowl time, Hoo-yah!
February 2, 2004
Democratic elections?!?! WTF?!?!?
February 1, 2004
Added a Metopian Board of Education page.
January 29, 2004
New Picayune story by Frosty.
January 28, 2004
Happy All Hell's Day everyone! On this day one year ago, two people...well, nevermind. Anyway, Week 10 of the MFL is up early. Yeah, we know. Anyway, see who's in da playoffs, and who's packin' their shit for home!! Oh yea!
January 26, 2004
Results for the Metopian Distance Festival are up on the Metopian Indoor Track page. Also posted the Start List for the Metopian National Indoor Championships!!!!!1<---intentional
Added reserves to the MFL Semi-Pro Bowl Roster. Now the rosters are complete.
January 25, 2004
Updated the MFL page for Week 7. One team's in! One team's out! Watch as six teams fight for three play-off spots! Hooray!!!
January 22, 2004
New Picayune Story about Willie Wankah
January 19, 2004
Updated the MFL page for Week 8. The final Semi-Pro Bowl teams are set. Hooray!
Two new Picayune stories by Jack-did-Jill.
Go to Linktrack. Our own Brad O'Neil (Sir Vyborny) fell into their Athlete of the Week honors.
January 11, 2004
Updated the MFL page for Week 7. Nevermind what I said earlier, there will Semi-Pro Bowl voting leaders updated for this week.
January 10, 2004
Found the funniest webpage in existence. Everyone must go!!
January 9, 2004
Updated the MFL page for Week 6.
January 4, 2004
Added some new Illegal Phrases. It is worth noting that this is the first time that page has been updated since December 22, 2002.
January 2, 2004
University of Metopia page is up
Click here to see
January 1, 2004
Added a new Spin-off sites category on the side menu for the website by Jack-Did-Jill, and the one on the Kratopian colony. These pages will open in a new window.
Also, congratulations to Hurricane Bob for running the Hamilton Hangover Five-Miler. The Hurricane finished in 1 hour and 4 minutes. Hooray! Results.
December 30, 2003
Updated the Metopian Indoor Series stuff.
Check out the MFL Semi-Pro Bowl voting leaders here.
December 29, 2003
Added the Kratopia Knights roster to the MFL page. Mr. Ironballs didn't actually send it in.....so I used the one in the game. If Mr. Ironballs wants to make his own roster, he should do so quickly.
December 28, 2003
Frosty's done a story on the MFL on the Picayune.
Updated the MFL page for Week 5. Also, the Costa Del Sol Guys' roster was added.
December 23, 2003
Added maps to the 'Stats' page (under 'Metopia' to the left)
Updated the MFL page for Week 4. Also posted the roster for the Queens Royales.
Added the Start List for the Metopia versus Swabia meet on the Track & Field page.
December 21, 2003
Updated SDCC the Band pages.
December 20, 2003
Added the Midgar Zoloms team roster on the MFL page.
Updated the Track and Field site. Posted results for the Metopia versus Saxony dual meet, click here.
December 18, 2003
Changed Homepage a little. Hopefully it is now more aestetically pleasing.
Remember!! To join Click here.
December 17, 2003
Updated the MFL page.
December 16, 2003
New picayune story here. It's an obituary this time.
December 15, 2003
MFL week 2 scores posted. Also added some team info pages. All team owners should draw up their rosters and send them to me.
Fake Maddox--I,Schottenfroida, made a parady of Maddox, so enjoy.
Added Krakens, Hammers, and Meltdown rosters on the MFL Page. Also, completed Harriers roster.
December 6, 2003
A new story on cheese at the Picayune.
December 4, 2003
MFL stuff updated.
November 26, 2003
MFL Schedule posted here.
November 24, 2003
Sir Noha Ironballs, aka the man who must duck under dogs, aka the man who flips the bird when you leave, aka the man who sha----nevermind, joined the Knights. Profile coming soon.
November 23, 2003
Metopian Women's >-C-C-> team added here.
Full results for Metopian Invitational can be found here.
Midnight run! Day One results and Day Two start list are here for the Metopian Indoor Invitational.
Also, Sir Byrun Sexxalought took the Terminus Krakens in the MFL
The man who flips the bird when you leave Metopia has purchased the Kratopia Knights (pronounced "Ka-nig-hits") for 35 cents and a pair of bodkin arrows. MFL is now ready to start. Yaay.
November 22, 2003
Metopian Football League is here. Unfortuneatly, with such a sport with such big teams, it's not as weird or creative as the blitzball league from the summer or the basketball league that one Byrun Sexxalought does. We'll try that sort of thing with blitzball or a similar sport eventually, but for now, just go see the football thing here.
November 16, 2003
The Metopian Amateur Athletics Federation has been founded.
November 15, 2003
New knights! Sir Robin of Camelot and Maitresse Foncee. With Robin's joining, there is now a Florida Chapter of the Knights of Bohemia. Also, Sir Neptars (Dreher Chapter) is now a Paladin.
November 12, 2003
Schottenfroida started a new quest for world domination. To join his army, Click here
November 9, 2003
The Metopian Indoor Track Series is coming!!!
As you may have noticed, there has not been very much added to the empire of metopia lately. DON'T CLICK HERE!!! To find more about this alarming situation, Click here
REALLY!! DON'T CLICK WHERE IT TELLS YOU NOT TO!
October 23, 2003
New Picayune stories. Willie and Sigmund wrote about the Apple Butter incident, while Frosty wrote about the Valley District Cross Country meet.
October 15, 2003
Special thanks to Mrs. Miller for going to this site during class.
October 4, 2003
A new Law. Obey it.
Finally reinstated the National Anthem on the front page.
October 3, 2003
Metopia has a colony and it's second spin-off website, The Nation of Kratopia, founded by Sir Salty Sam.
October 2, 2003
The evil Jar of Apple Butter has been defeated!! Metopia is back!!!
September 24, 2003
New Picayune story, click here.
September 22, 2003
Added a Spear Toss rankings page. Updated constantly.
September 21, 2003
Sir Vyborny just broke the Metopian Spear Toss record with a toss of 535.015 meters. Therefore the Picayune story mentioned in the previous two updates has been slightly altered.
September 20, 2003
Midnight run!! Spear Toss story update. Women's Metopian record holder added.
September 19, 2003
New Picayune story. Help us get the Spear Toss record!!
September 15, 2003
A new Picayune story by Jack-Did-Jill. At least we know he's with the resistance.
Sir Alarmallard joined the Knights of Bohemia, Draft chapter.
September 13, 2003
New SDCC (the band) stuff.
September 11, 2003
The official laws of Isanad are posted. Obey them!
MacBastard The Plaid (Bohemian Knight, Wilson Chapter) has died.
Two new Picayune stories.
September 2, 2003
Metopia has been taken over by the evil Jar of Apple Butter, mostly for Sir Schottenfroida's tax purposes. Read about it in the Picayune.
Lots of stuff has been changed to reflect the new Isanadian influence....
September 1, 2003
New Picayune story for September, with a connection to Metopian TV, MSNBCNN.
August 30, 2003
Frosty wrote a story for the Metopian Picayune.
August 26, 2003
Sir Lee has joined the Knights of Bohemia.
August 24, 2003
Due to the fact that Jarrod sent poetry to Polly Arey, Robby Corbett has responded in photograph form. Read all about it in this Picayune story.
Also, Robby "Dogs and Bees" Corbett asks that you never leave the Empire of Metopia, or he will have something to say about it.
August 17, 2003
Happy B-Day Metopia!!!! As we enter our second year of existance, here's a review of our first year.
August 13, 2003
Metopia's first ever spin-off website!!! Everybody should check out the official website of Jack-did-Jill, one of our Metopian Picayune writers. Click here.
August 12, 2003
New Picayune stories.
Sir Neptars has new, improved info.
August 9, 2003
Blitzball is over!!! The winner is.......
Two new Picayune stories are on there way, one by Jack-Did-Jill and the other by Wu Mon B. Terr. There is a slight problem with Angelfire right now, and as soon as it is fixed these stories will be added.
As for the Fort Girls bit........we're just lazy.
August 4, 2003
Blitzball finals are set!!!!!
Also, take this citizenship test or else you'll be thrown out of the Empire.
July 31, 2003
Lady Rhubarb the Great (Wilson) and Sir Shizerdick (Stuarts Draft) have their pages up on the Knights Of Bohemia section, even though they've been members since June 2 and June 16, respectively.
Information for the Metopian National Track Team is up. Hooray!!!
