The Horrible Multindra
So, you dare to inquire about the horrible Multindra? You are indeed a brave soul. But do not take the Multindra too lightly, or it will swallow you while you sit and adjust your fly. (It's THAT sneaky!) So, you now ask, What Is The Multindra?
Though reports about the Multindra vary, it has been confirmed that the beast has blue and black skin. It has fourteen arms and fourteen legs, as well as seven seperate free-thinking heads. The terrible beast is extremely fast, extremely powerful, and has the biggest ego this side of the NFL. And plus the which, they're all a bunch of jerks.
The seven seperate heads of the Multindra are as different as any seven different humans. They are know as:
Hizer: The "leader," as it were,
Weeks: The blonde one,
Killen: The big dumb one
Corbett: The small dumb one,
Eutsler: The one with the goofy name,
Parkinson: The one that REALLY loves moose-tracks ice cream, and
Bowman: The big jerk.
The fear inspired and the ego exerted by the dreaded Multindra is surpassed only by that of its keeper, whose name must not be spoken, only to say that it starts with a "W" and ends with a "itherow." This human(?) is the only thing that keeps the Multindra from destroying all in its path anytime it wants to. No one has spoken with him and lived, apart from that News Virginian reporter that did the story on him and his famous "Big Jerkass Smirk of Death."
But all hope is not lost. Apparantly, each seperate entity of the Multindra has a special weakness, which is the key to the defeat of the whole creature. They are believed to be as follows:
Hizer: Hot women (from whom he will flee in terror),
Weeks: Hammerlocks and Granby Arts,
Killen: Mirrors,
Corbett: High wind speeds,
Eutsler: Mispronunciation of his name,
Parkinson: Depriving him of his favorite moose tracks ice cream, and
Bowman: Losing, Stomache Viruses, and Public Knowledge of his Insufficient Penis Size.
But despite the knowledge of these weaknesses, all is still not well. The Multindra still remains at large. However, one small victory has been won against it, pushing it back from whence it came, at least for now. In a blaze of glory the likes of which has never been seen before, the saintly KNIGHTS OF ROCKBRIDGE were able to defeat the evil Multindra on neutral territory weeks ago. We praise these heroes eternally, and may some deity bestow all encompassing light upon them and their families for years to come.
Though these great heroes have silenced the beast for now, it is almost inevitable that eventually, the beast's great ego will build and build, and soon, it will terrorize the world once again.
JOIN THE BOHEMIAN KNIGHTS AND HELP US CONQUER THIS FOUL BEAST!
Rare pictures of Multindra
And on a related note...