Former Pop Icon Expires, People Pretend to Care
by Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride
Ulaan Bataar, Mongolia: A radical terrorist's wife vehemently flung her firstborn across a steppe yesterday morning at noon, beating the previous record by 8.75 kilograms and 3.2335 meters.
Fairview, Oregon (which may actually exist, due to the alarming number of Fairviews in this country) : As a result of the blast the infant induced upon terrestrial impact, a shockwave passed over town and leveled many a building. In one building, enjoying a pleasant blowjob from twelve different women (surpassing the limit allowed by state law) was Ricky Martin. A rather large support beam fell from another building and pierced his right pectoral muscle. One of the blowjob administrators happened to be a 1337 nurse, and she removed it and patched him up with ease. At the same time, another blowjob administrator, who happened to be a high-ranking police officer, called an unnecessarily large amount of backup to escort the Latino "bombshell" to the hospital. However, the staggering amount of sirens reminded Ricky of his illegal alien days, and his heart exploded.
At the funeral, after the eulogy, everyone tore away their tuxedos to reveal dancing garb and danced to "Livin' La Vida Loca" in his honor. Afterwards, they all went off to have gratuitous sex, quite forgetting to lower the body into the earth.
In Response To The Last Story
by Frosty The Prevaricator
Here: It's about damn time.
PS: Ricky Martin fans click
here
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