2005 Empire of Metopia World Championship Team

Men

Name                                                   Age      Hometown                                           Seed

100 meters     

Intangir                                                 86        Triangle Island                                      9.89

Tim Willis                                             18        Mercury City                                        9.99

Cole Obikwela                                     22        Addis Nairobi                                       10.09

200 meters

Horst Hash                                           24        Pinaal                                                   20.05

Hyperion Smith                                     27        New Waynesboro                                20.17  

Brian Mascarpone                                22        Brie                                                      20.19

400 meters

dnL Man                                              26        Costa Del Sol                                       44.41

Thor Cul-de-Sac                                  20        Queens                                                 45.07

Jeremy Rowe                                       18        L’Homme d’la Batte                             45.12

800 meters

dnL Man                                              26        Costa Del Sol                                       1:45.23

Andrew Riotor                                     33        New Waynesboro                                1:45.42

Dave Matthews                                    22        Cangro                                                 1:46.13

1500 meters

Bard Nilsson                                        24        Stualts Dlaft                                          3:30.62

Bryan Buzzard                                      27        Dumbass Flats                                      3:35.21

Cullen O’Neil                                       16        Sustuli                                                  3:36.13

5000 meters

Haggis MacPlaid                                  26        Terminus                                              13:09.47

Brad O’Neil                                         18        Vybornyville                                         13:00.64

Brandon Spalding                                 18        Blandenton                                           13:11.41

10000 meters                         

Brandon Kilometers                              21        Mercury City                                        27:21.65

Jimmy Brighton                                     25        Spalding                                               27:45.33

Wombat Harness                                  29        Lockbridge                                           27:36.29

110 meters Hurdles

Jormungand W. Wayneright                  27        Addax                                                  12.92

An Addax                                            14        Addax                                                  13.13

Intangir                                                 86        Triangle Island                                      12.93

Baba O’Reilly                                       22        Lynchburg                                            13.19

400 meters Hurdles

An Clinton                                            3          Addax                                                  47.83

George Addax                                      3          Addax                                                  48.04

Chester Squirrel                                    10        New Waynesboro                                48.52

3000 meters Steeplechase

Man in 1986 Crown Victoria                49        Chartreuse City                                    8:18.34

Karston DeBoer                                   23        Midgar                                                 8:14.55

Launcher Timber Québec                     25        New Berlin                                           8:23.51

Long Jump

Arthur Polecats                                     19        Addax                                                  8.33m

John Cheese                                         24        Brie                                                      8.22m

Sammy Scumbag                                  22        Alligator Bay                                        8.25m

Triple Jump

Willie Robinson                                    18        Atalanta                                                17.13m

Adam Spratt                                         20        Terminus                                              17.19m

“Mako”                                                29        Vulcan City                                          17.20m

High Jump

Stephen Winkler                                   18        Haylen Beach                                       2.42m

Jim Won’tis                                          23        Stualts Dlaft                                          2.46m

Man with Ladder                                  30        Chartreuse City                                    2.38m

Homer Smellson                                   21        Jarrod’s Villa                                        2.35m

Pole Vault

Brian Antoinette                                    21        Ibex                                                     5.75m

Sir Vyborny                                          44        Vybornyville                                         5.79m

Shot Put

Donut Dan                                            22        Jasson                                                  21.46m           

Hurricane Bob                                      19        Queens                                                 21.72m

Intangir                                                 86        Triangle Island                                      20.94m

Discus Throw

E.F. Bradshaw                                     22        Midgar                                                 70.03m

Freddy Kylor                                       31        Duckworth                                           69.02m

Jason Kylor                                          28        Duckworth                                           68.25m

Javelin Throw

Vork the Alien                                      27        Aldebaran-7                                         85.80m

Sir Lee                                                 18        Staunton                                               82.34m

Hammer Throw

Arthur Cosgrove                                   56        Blandenton                                           85.45m           

Lord Enormous                                    22        Terminus                                              82.84m           

Decathlon

Jacksonville Ford                                  26        Stualts Beer                                          8065

Dick Hargreaves                                   20        Addax                                                  7864

Man w/various Cheating Implements     34        Chartreuse City                                    7753               

20km Race-Walk

William Williamson                               24        South Sabresville                                  1:20:01

Homestar Walker                                 28        Launch Island 1:22:42

W.A. Mozart                                        36        New Waynesboro 1:22:45

50km Race-Walk

Strong Brad                                          24        Addax                                                  3:55:59

Marathon

Colin Nilsson                                        22        Stualts Dlaft                                          2:11:48

Coach Clifton                                       33        Staunton 2:11:10

Lasse Viren Jr.                                     27        Vybornyville                                         2:09:16

Haichoge Kiplagebrselassie                   32        Addis Nairobi 2:09:15

John Read                                            20*      Vybornyville                                         2:17:16

* We had to lie about his age so he could run the marathon

Women

100 meters

Empiria Firuz                                        21        Launch Island                                       11.26

Leslie Hax                                            20        Queens                                                 11.28

200 meters

Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz                             25        Luton                                                   22.55

Lassie O’Shea                                      26        Terminus                                              22.69

400 meters

Regan Anamy                                       19        Terminus                                              49.87

Anna Addax                                         24        Addax                                                  49.95

Lady Orangehopper                             22        Titopolis                                               50.13

800 meters

Shannon Harvey                                   18        Staunton                                               1:59.87

Woman on Bicycle                               29        Chartreuse City                                    1:59.96

Lady Ryan                                            19        5K Island                                             1:58.84

1500 meters

Leah Chaldares                                    16        Stualts Dlaft                                          4:04.36

Eva Hitler                                             28        New Berlin                                           4:04.78

5000 meters

Emily Fritts                                           18        Metopolis                                             14:57.29

Mary Markz                                         26        Duckworth                                           15:07.82

Deena Hannoun                                    20        Metope Cay                                         15:07.92

10000 meters

Jenny Brighton                                      24        Spalding                                               31:10.95

100 meters Hurdles

Wanda Cheap-Laugh                           31        Luton                                                   12.87

Marcia Talons                                      28        Monument Valley                                 12.88

Lois Griffin                                           37        Berrington                                            12.94

400 meters Hurdles

Pepsi Blue Girl                                      21        Costa Del Sol                                       54.07

Regina Hitler                                         19        New Berlin                                           54.39

LaDawn Fink                                       17        Vybornyville                                         55.21

3000 meters Steeplechase

Stacey Wyrd                                        22        Vybornyville                                         9:39.51

Lori Meyers                                         27        North Sabresville                                  9:39.68

Avril Lavigne                                        20        Baden Hill                                            9:44.76

Long Jump

Ashley Maracle                                    24        Midgar                                                 6.76m

Triple Jump

Ashley Maracle                                    24        Midgar                                                 14.43m

Salah Kahuns                                       21        Costa Del Sol                                       14.36m

High Jump

LaDawn Fink                                       17        Vybornyville                                         1.95m

Kyomuri Shitake                                   24        Hyorikiorinatakahasapasanatsu             1.95m

Pole Vault

Tara Altizer                                          18        East Grinstead                                      4.50m

Marie Brie                                            26        Simview Heights                                   4.45m

Shot Put

Man in Drag                                         34        Chartreuse City                                    19.97m

Lucinda Wildebeest                              30        Queens                                                 19.85m

Amy Lee Brie                                       26        Simview Heights                                   19.41m

Discus Throw

Margie Zimmerman                               30        Costa Del Sol                                       66.45m

Vork’s wife, Valeska                            27        Aldebaran-7                                         62.10m

Javelin Throw

Maitresse Foncee                                 20        Metopolis                                             63.54m

Majina Tom                                          36        Launch Island                                       62.10m

Hammer Throw

Woman on Steroids                              37        Chartreuse City                                    71.64m

Kris Krystoff                                        28        Terminus                                              70.00m

Heptathlon

Woman w/ various Cheating Im…        31        Queens                                                 6681

Alysha Handjula                                   23        Lynchburg                                            6345

Megan Hunt                                         26        Terminus                                              6345

20km Race-Walk

Jun “Kazama” Smith                             22        Hiriz City                                              1:29:42

Samantha Stringbottom-Smith               30        Mercury City                                        1:32:29

Deena Pollux                                        34        Froida                                                  1:32:44

Marathon

Ellin Sweet                                           24        Stualts Dlaft                                          2:36:39

Shawn Lear                                          32        Hiriz City                                              2:41:57